


Death Do Us Part, Or will it bring us closer than ever before? (Ghost AU SBI centered)

by Yellow_sprouts



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Angst, Big Brother Technoblade, Big brother Dream, Brotherly Bonding, Brotherly Love, But hes a ghost and dies in the beginning, Clay| Dream & Grayson | Purpled, Dadza, Dave | Technoblade and Wilbur Soot and TommyInnit are Siblings, Dead TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Depression, Dream Drista and Purpled are Siblings, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Exile, Explosions, Family Dynamics, Fluff, Found Family, Ghosts, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Its not that sad I dont have the heart for that, Mental Breakdown, Other, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Ranboo is given some much needed focus, Sickfic, Sleepy Boys, Sleepy Boys Inc - Freeform, Techno Wilbur and Tommy are Siblings, big brother wilbur soot, brotherly relationships, chosen family, no one else dies i promise, sleepy bois inc- freeform, touch starved
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-04
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:54:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 21
Words: 44,964
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27922588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yellow_sprouts/pseuds/Yellow_sprouts
Summary: Tommy sat in the dirt shack with Ghostbur sitting nearby,He had truly lost EVERYTHINGHis friendsHis FamilyHis homeHe never cared about the discs, he cared about the memories tied to them, the comfort and serotonin he received listening to each and everyone, He coughed dry heaving as he sat up in bed Ghostbur rushing over to comfort him but he held his hand upHe was FINE- though being forced to travel through the rain for so long on top of being exhausted and using all his food on the journey he would be shocked if he DIDNT get sick- but he could survive a cold hed feel like shit for a few days then be back to normal and back to trying to figure out this mess hed gotten himself into,Little did he know how terribly terribly wrong he was-
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Grayson | Purpled (Video Blogging RPF), Clay | Dream & Luke | Punz & Sam | Awesamdude, Grayson | Purpled & Luke | Punz & Ponk | DropsByPonk, Grayson | Purpled & Ranboo & Toby Smith | Tubbo, Grayson | Purpled & Ranboo (Video Blogging RPF), No Romantic Relationship(s), Ponk | DropsByPonk & Sam | Awesamdude, Ranboo & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Ranboo & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Zak Ahmed & Darryl Noveschosch
Comments: 53
Kudos: 539





	1. INFO/ More elaborate things in the fic that explain certin bits

**Author's Note:**

> This is inspired by an Instagram post though I sadly didn't save it, I just had the idea stuck in my mind for so long I had to write it out this is the first fic I've gotten so close to completing, I'm completely open to constructive criticism or any ideas/ theories you have on where this story may go I would love to hear and may get added in later on.
> 
> I already have a general plot planned out but I will be making small adjustments here and there based on how the story so far is perceived, and after the final chapter, ill add an extra one to show my writing process and any extra notes that didn't quite make it into this storyline.

Info on each ghost 

Wilbur- Due to his final moments being a release for everything he pent up he got satisfaction from seeing it finally happen, which is why now he remembers none of it no satisfaction of success, and unlike one of the others, he had no Malicious nature he was driven mad which is why he only remembers the happy parts of his life past a certain point.

Tommy- His entire mentality was wanting 3 things His home, His family, and his friends, but every time they seemed to slip from his grasp which is why he only remembers all the negative events in his life besides some stuff from his childhood he knows the positive stuff exists but he can't remember it without overloading his brain

Schlatt- He's a mix between the two since he tried to drink to forget his crimes he's cursed to remember EVERYTHING, he tries to help out the other ghosts feeling remorseful for his past mistakes as well he gained the ability to view into peoples memories  
Meaning if Tommy Wilbur or someone else entirely were trying to remember something and he happened to accidentally or on purpose see this memory he would see it in vague detail but mostly get the emotion behind it.

Other Character Info/ need to know Fic Canons-

THERE ARE NO ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS!!!  
IM NOT FULLY AWARE OF EVERYONE's SPECIFICS ON SHIPPING THEIR CHARACTERS AND ID RATHER THIS FIC BE ENJOYED BY EVERYONE, I DO WRITE SHIP WORKS SO I AM NOT AGAINST IT THOUGH IT WILL NOT BE INCLUDED IN THIS FIC, AS WELL THESE ARE THE PERSONAS NOT THE PEOPLE  
THERE ARE SOME RELATIONSHIP-ESK ASPECTS BUT ALL ARE FOR PLOT (Like Dream and Fundy being mentioned but it's only on occasion) OR HOW QUACKITY AND SCHLATT INTERACT CAN BE PERCEIVED AS SUCH BUT ITS MOSTLY PLATONIC EDIT- SKEPP HALO IS ALSO INCLUDED BUT NOT CONFIRMED AND AGAIN THESE ARE THE PERSONAS NOT THE ACTUAL PEOPLE THANK YOU AND GOOD DAY

Niki runs a bakery with Eret helping out

Eret, Niki, Fundy, and Tubbo are kind of like family with Quackity and Ranboo fitting in as well

In this Dream and Fundy arent to get married, Fundy just has a huge crush and they 'Don't put a label on it' while Dream is just using Fundy to keep things calm between himself and Fundys friends/family

Since ranboo is half Enderman he can't teleport but water still hurts him (Important for later)

Mexican L'manberg doesn't exist since I'm not familiar enough to write about it and instead once George is dethroned he leaves with Sapnap to live in the badlands with Skeppy and Bad temporarily

Purpled and Punz both work for Dream Purpled getting Promoted when Sapnap left-

Quackity is the main bridge between the new "Dream Team" minus Dream and the rest of L'manberg.


	2. New Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Exile Tommy and Ghostbur begin to try and adjust to the sudden move, though due to the harsh conditions during the journey Tommy ended up sick, and to both of their dismay, he wasn't looking to be getting any better....

Tommy sat on the edge of a cliff looking out at the skyline

He missed home  
He missed his friends  
He missed his family

He had lost EVERYTHING-  
And all he had to show for it was a dirt shack and a ghost of a man he used to call his brother sitting next to him.

Wilbur was smiling as he looked at the sunset with Tommy before looking over at him "So- Why'd ya decide to go on a vacation?, are we gonna go visit Techno or something"? He asked in a cheery tone

Tommy tensed up and looked down "Im not sure Techno would wanna see me-"

Wilbur looked over "What? Why he's our brother after all"!

Tommy curled up pulling his knees into his chest "Yeah…. He's supposed to be anyway but im not so sure he wants to be anymore-" he paused before coughing a bit into his elbow 

Wilbur perked up "Oh my gosh- are you getting sick? I mean we did travel far in the rain…." 

Tommy shook his head "Nah nah ill be FINE Wilby, just a cough ill be okay" he said as he stood up and walked over to the makeshift shack

Wilbur paused before trailing after him "Okay… if you say so Tom's" 

Once inside Wilbur looked around it was annoyingly bare and smelt strongly of earth but not in a fresh comforting way, almost suffocating probably due to the fact the blocks used to build the hut weren't solid enough to prevent dust floating around

There was a small bookshelf, a crafting bench, a bed, a chair, a Music box with one Disc, and Wilburs Guitar 

Tommy climbed into the bed and laid back already exhausted but struggling to settle his mind enough to sleep until Wilbur sat down in the chair pulling out his guitar and humming softly strumming a sweet simple tune that managed to lull him to sleep.

"Sleep little prince's   
Now tired from thy play  
Rest your heads now  
To fight another day

Sleep now my little prince's   
The world will wait for you  
But for now its time to rest  
Before you greet tomorrow's noon

So sleep now little prince's  
Nows not the time to play  
Tis time to rest  
And sleep the night away

Safe from the monsters   
Safe from all harm  
Sleep my little Princes  
Underneath the moon  
And lulled to sleep  
By this sweet yet simple lullaby like song-"

By the time Wilbur finished the song he looked over to see Tommy passed out he gave a soft smile before setting his guitar on its stand and drifting off himself.

As weeks passed after Tommys Exile his condition continued to get worse to the point he was bed ridden and refused to eat or drink unless Wilbur forced him too

"Come on Tommy please you have to drink the soup-" he said in a soft tone as he lifted the bowl to his brothers mouth feeling relieved as he drank some of the broth

He sighed, setting the bowl next to his bed and feeling his forehead it was still way too warm, "Tommy, we need to get you help and Medicine… I don't know how to fix this and its not getting any better"

Tommy looked at him shaking his head softly "No no- they hate me- they left me I don't need them, I'll never need them again" he said though his voice was hoarse

Wilbur winced and ran his hand through his brother's hair "Shhh you'll be okay- ill do the best I can but if you get any worse I'm going to get help okay"?

Tommy simply nodded as Wilbur grabbed his guitar and began playing the lullaby once more but this time the final verse 

“My three little princes time to rest now Dont cry, for its time to fulfill your duties another time,  
Sleep my little Moonbeam for the tides will shift for you  
Oceans bend to your will  
Sailors know to rely on you  
Though they know that you will do what you must do,  
So sing my sweet siren boy  
Your song they will hear,  
spread across the nations big and small  
Lulling your people into a calm quiet sense of peace  
Before they fall into a deep deep sleep

Next is my sunray bright as ill know guarding the people   
From the shadows that roam,   
A constant gardien that they all know  
Though whos power can sometimes out grow  
So be careful remain calm stay close to the moon  
Remember your duties and you will never meet your doom  
Protecting your loved ones watching them close  
Always be a constant light for whenever they need it the most

And finally my Starshine though small and still young  
Your potential will grow beyond what we now know  
You are a constant guide to those lost or in need  
A guide for those who must find their own path  
Away from the problems that plague them when no longer asleep  
So they Look to the sky  
And there you will always be  
Ready to guide them across land or sea.

Three little princes who rule over the sky and oceans  
in many ways different yet still, they will always stay together yet  
Brothers always find a way, through any obstacle, trial, or test  
Just remember this lullaby  
Stay together my sweet little princess  
All as one   
Watching over the skies

So sleep now my princes, lay down to rest, you may play in the morning  
But now its time to Dream of worlds not our own and wake up to find you haven't strayed far from home”

The song concluded and Wilbur looked down at a sleeping Tommy he sighed running his hand through his brother's hair continuing to hum the tune as he watched Tommy visibly relax he finally pulled away setting his guitar to the side and laying down to rest hoping that tomorrow would be a better day.


	3. New Yet Old Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tommy's condition isn't seeming to get any better but with this, the duo end up encountering a new friend... but could it really be considered new?

Another 3 days passed and Tommy's condition only got worse at this point Ghostbur was desperate he would use the communicator but it didn't sense his touch and Tommy refused to contact anyone yet he couldn't leave Tommy Alone without the risk of him dying while he's gone, he also couldn't simply take Tommy anywhere since his body was in no shape to travel he felt helpless as he watched his brother slipping away

Wilbur would figure it out though- he had to he determined he would simply write a letter and find a way to send it to get help he concluded as he went into the garden to get supplies to make more soup for Tommy, even finding a rabbit to kill he cooked it in the outhouse preparing the soup before walking inside.

"Hey Tommy I got Rabbit soup your favorite-"! He said in a Cheery tone but froze when he opened the door and saw two figures

One his now abnormally pale brother laying in bed motionless and the other was a man in a Blue knit Sweater with Ram horns looking down at the boy

Wilbur paused "Schlatt"? He asked hesitantly as he set the bowl down

Schlatt turned to face him looking startled "What the hell happened"?

Normally Wilbur would have teased him for how vague a question that was but he got the gist and decided not to push it,Wilbur floated over looking sad "My dad killed me, after I did some bad stuff- So I don’t remember much of the war so if I said anything mean im sorry, as for Tommy… I thought we were going on a vacation but turns out he was Exiled

We were forced to travel through the rain and he got sick… he's not getting any better and its already been about 3 weeks…" he said looking down at his brother

Schlatt simply nodded processing this information before asking his next question"What DO you remember…."?

Wilbur shrugged "I remember some memories from my childhood, the revolution, and me becoming president but it all gets a bit blurry and scrambled after that" he said softly “ I think I hurt some people…” though he decided against adding that as Tommy stirred he grabbed the rag of his forehead and went to go re-wet it before laying it back on Tommys forehead

"I dont know what to do-" he said sounding heartbroken 

Schlatt looked at him in a stunned silence before looking down at Tommy "I can watch over him, you go to the local village only a few hundred blocks north and get the Cleric"

Wilbur froze pausing slightly before Schlatt put a hand on his shoulder and he FELT it- "You have to trust me or Tommys survival chances will only get lower and lower"

Wilbur looked up meeting his eyes before quickly nodding grabbing a few supplies in a satchel getting one last glance at the two before leaving quickly

___________  
Schlatt watched Wilbur leave and sighed looking down at Tommy he grabbed the chair pulling it up to the bed and sitting down "You really got yourself in some deep shit huh kid? Been worrying your brother sick who else"?

Tommy looked over to him though his eyes were hazy Schlatt froze feeling a bit of Anger how could they force a CHILD to go out alone in the rain far from any player made civilization

He mainly wanted Wilbur gone but he knew that due to Tommy's Morals and Loyalty he couldn't be trusted so he sent them both away, but even then he knew they would be able to look after each other and he was still lenient knowing full well they snuck in more then once to get supplies and even then,regretted that decision and paid his due for it.

Everyone left was supposedly his friends how would they react seeing the bright fun loving British boy look so helpless and on deaths doorstep

"Shit kid… look.. Im sorry for everything I've done ya know? But I want you to remember your a fighter you've fought your way through an ocean of challenges you can beat this just don't stop fighting okay"

Tommy looked up at him and began to speak "Why should I…… now there's nothing left to fight for- Tubbo exiled me, Dream herded me out here like Cattle and blew up all my stuff….. Heck maybe I'm better off dead Ill only remember the Happy things and none of the betrayal"

Schlatt looked at Tommy horror slowly crossing his face  
Tubbo?  
Tubbo was the reason that Tommy was almost dead, Tubbo was the reason Tommy was forced out, Tubbo was the reason Tommys only relationships were with his Dead brother who dosen’t even remember his crimes, and an evil dictator who lead both of them to their demise.

"No no no kid you listen to me you CAN'T give up- think of Phil, Quackity, Fundy, you guys were friends right? Don't make your dad loose another son"

Tommy sniffled tears streaming down his cheeks "I don’t wanna go- But I don’t think I have a choice… I feel cold"

Schlatt shot up going over to the supplies and grabbing some blankets putting them over Tommy "No- Wilbur trusted me your not gonna die on my watch he's on his way back now with help you just gotta fight a bit longer okay kid"?  
you CAN'T die… not yet-

Tommy simply nodded before passing out it scared the shit out of Schlatt before he noticed the soft rise and fall of his chest  
Breathing…. He was alive.. but for how much longer?

After what felt like an eternity Wilbur returned with a Villager in white cloaks behind him the villager walked over examining Tommy and giving him a healing potion before looking up at the pair

"Im so sorry…. But the chances that he will come out of this due to his bad health and how far along it is are slim- its best to just comfort him for now before he may join you in the afterlife, 

I'll leave a few healing potions give him one every 8 hours and every 4 if he starts declining too fast- "

Wilbur gasped covering his mouth and began sobbing as he hugged Tommy Schlatt took the potions setting them on the counter thanking them before going over to Wilbur comforting him

5 days  
5 days….

That was all the fight he had left….


	4. Perma-Death

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 5 days
> 
> 5 days.....
> 
> That was all the fight Tommy had left in him

5 days  
5 days….

That was all the fight he had left….

Tommy looked down at the bed at his body… it felt odd seeing yourself lying there dead- he didn't want his brother and friend to have to see him like this so he simply grabbed a shovel digging a hole just outside the cabin and laying himself inside covering it up and planting some of Wilburs Flowers on top putting a sign before going back inside the Cabin

Everything felt wrong… and off… he remembered Erets Betrayal...The shoot out though he doesn’t know who won…. Being banished...Wilbur losing his mind… Tubbos execution…..His dad- no Phil, killing his brother,........ Techno trying to kill him, …... Dream screaming at him,..... Tubbo exiling him…. Then he remembers the journey with Wilbur, Schlatt joining them

He had forgiven them both already  
He saw the sadness in Wilburs eyes seeing him sick and hearing about his deeds  
And he saw the Regret and Anger in Schlatt over what he had done and more so that no one learned from his mistakes….

They came back from farming to find Tommy standing in the middle of the room but… it wasn't Tommy- he was an off gray color with his baby blue eyes now glossy the only color being his Yellow hair and the red sash around his neck though both looked faded

Wilbur hugged him and cried before Tommy moved him off "Its okay- you did your best,... Both of you did…."

Schlatt nodded "Hows your memory"?

Tommy shrugged "Fuzzy… I don’t remember much of anything and everything I do remember isn't good stuff… the only other stuff I remember is being exiled and then all the stuff that happens after until now-"

Wilbur recoiled slightly "So… you only remember the bad stuff"?

This caused both Wilbur and Schlatt to tense up but Tommy shook his head  
"Mostly yes… but I've already forgiven both of you- I can see how much you regret it and both of you have already apologized

But… I still feel so much anger towards everyone else who hurt me… hurt you two… or just sat back and watched it all happen" he said as he began crying

Schlatt nodded and slowly pulled the boy into a hug Wilbur joining in soon after managing to calm him down enough to speak

Wilbur looked between them "So what now? We no longer need the Garden since Tommy was the only reason we needed food"

Schlatt looked at him "Where's your body"?

Tommy looked towards the door "I didn't want you two to see me like that- so I buried myself…"

Schlatt simply nodded before Tommy spoke up  
"I wanna go home-"

They looked at him in shock before he looked up "I cant use the communicator and if anything we'll go to the edge let someone see me they'll spread the news and we can leave…."

Schlatt nodded but paused "There's more isn't there"? 

Tommy hesitated before nodding "They chose to betray and exile me- They deserve to feel the guilt of knowing I spent my final hours with my only company being two ghosts suffering in a dirt shack surviving of stew"

Schlatt nodded before all three began gathering some basic supplies Wilbur his guitar  
Schlatt some extra clothes and Tommy his Discs

Before they all set off heading home,   
But right before heading off Wilbur grabbed some supplies and wrote a quick letter packaging it up as he followed the other two finding a villager to take it to post for him sending the letter to their last brother he knew him and Tommy werent on the best of terms and he knew that Techno wasn't allowed in L'manberg and he hadn't seen his brother since his death but regardless of all that   
He deserved to know….


	5. Heading Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arriving back at the edges of Civilization the Trio run into some people they used to know

Ponk was simply chatting with Punz as they chopped down some trees at the edge of Dream SMP collecting wood when Ponk suddenly froze "Tommy-"? He said looking over 

Punz pulled out his sword Ponk following close behind but both froze Punz dropping his sword as he saw him

Ghostbur smiled waving happily while Sclatt floated somewhat behind him hunched over and avoiding eye contact the 3rd figure had a dead glaze his arms loosely at his sides as he looked at them with seemingly no emotion

Ponk brought his hands to his mouth "Oh- Oh my god… Tommy.."

Tommy simply waved "Hi Punz- Um who are you"?

Ponk froze looking at Punz "Im- Ponk? Do you seriously not remember me Tommy"

Ghostbur chuckled "Tommy is the opposite of me he only remembers the bad things- So I guess that means you never hurt him thats a good thing"! 

Punz looked at the ground picking up his sword and Sheeting it looking at Ponk both frozen unsure of what to do

Tommy spoke up "Its okay… you didn't have a big part in everything that happened to me Punz-... But would you two do me a favor"?

Punz looked at him and nodded cautiously

"Don't tell anyone were here… I want to tell them myself… there the reason I suffered and Died they deserve to look me in the eyes and face that guilt"

Ponk spoke up since Punz looked chocked up unable to speak "How… How did you die"?

Tommy sighed "I was exiled during a rain storm and all my supplies blown up by dream- I had eaten all my food on the jorney and all he gave me was a small dirt shack to live inside… I ended up getting Hypothermia and I'm not sure what else

Since I was forced so far away and I was sick enough Wilbur couldn't leave me unsupervised long enough to get help…. By the time Schlatt arrived and Wilbur went to get a Cleric I had already been sick around 3 weeks and even with about a dozen health potions I could only fight it off for so long…"

His tone sounded so casual and dead it was heartbreaking but he also spoke with an underlying tone of hatred though no one could blame him

Tommy nodded "If that's all im going to head home-"

He said before walking off


	6. Rekindled Relationships

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reentering L'manberg Tommy met someone he didn't recognize and a few he did- but his reaction isn't what he expected

Ranboo was the next to encounter the trio having made a flower garden over where Tommy's house used to be not wanting anyone to have built something else there,

He had a wooden bench and jukebox in the middle and a chest with several disks where you could sit and listen to relax

He was startled when he noticed Ghostbur looking around he looked up at Rangoon and grinned "Ranboo- what's all this"?

Ranboo shrugged "I didn't want anyone else forgetting about Tommy and this land used to be his so I managed to get some Discs a jukebox and a bench to make an area people could relax-"

He paused noticing another figure one with Ram horns "Oh hi there-"

The figure hesitated then offered a small smile "hi"

Wilbur chuckled "This is Schlatt- he has all his memories though, Schlatt this is Ranboo he joined a week or so Before Tommy was kicked out"

Schlatt nodded giving a small wave "that makes sense…-"

Ranboo paused sighing "I miss Tommy- Its been shit since he left, Fundy and Quackity are angry at Tubbo and upset,

Since Tubbo changed his mind last minute after discussing it with the trio- fuck it was bad, and Phil hasn't been much better "

Schlatt perked up floating closer to him "How is…. How is Quackity"?

Ranboo shrugged "Oh yeah isn't he your VP? Well, he mentions you on occasion he's granted to me a few times says he misses ya and wished you wouldn't have done some of the crap you did- he's mostly been hanging out with me Karl George or Eret and Fundy,"

Schlatt smiled softly "He actually said that?... huh…"

Ranboo nodded "So Ghostbur what are you doing here I thought that you left with Tommy"?

Before Ghostbur could Answer another voice sounded "Hey-... Your Ranboo right"?

Ranboo turned around, eyes widening and he grinned his tail wagging happily "Tommy! Holy shit! What are you doing here you're gonna get yourself killed"!

Tommy sighed and moved his hood down showing now glossy eyes and faded hair "A bit too late for that.."

Ranboo covered his mouth, his smile falling "Oh my God….- It's… Woah…"

Tommy chuckled "I don't exactly remember you so I guess that's good"

Ranboo looked at him "What, how is that good"?!

Schlatt put a hand on his shoulder "He only remembers the bad stuff… it's the opposite of Wilbur so the fact he doesn't remember you is good" 

Ranboo looked over and nodded looking heartbroken "Hey- C'mere I wanna show you something…." He reached into the chest and pulled out a disc placing it in the Jukebox and motioning for all of them to sit down

Wilbur took a seat on the ground with Schlatt next to him as Tommy sat next to Ranboo on the bench as Mellonhi began playing

Tommy froze looking at the Jukebox and felt tears start to run down his cheeks this all felt so familiar yet too distant he had SO many memories tied to the discs this song specifically yet he couldn't get a firm grasp on any of them

The only one he saw was him and Tubbo sitting on a bench playing the Tune as they watched the sunset sitting in comfortable silence

He was snapped out of his Daze when Ranboo put a hand on his shoulder pulling him into a hug

That's when another voice spoke, "Heeey Ranboo what's up"! Tommy recognized it immediately as Quackity and looked up to see Quackity and Fundy walking over smiling

Both froze then lit up "Tommy"! They said practically in the sink running to hug him but freezing their smiles falling "Oh my god- your eyes…"

Tommy looked between them; he had bad memories tied to both of them but…. He had more fuzzy good ones and hearing Ranboo say they stuck up for him against Tubbo and Dream meant a lot  
"Hi guys-"

He smiled standing up and hugging them both "Oh- one sec," he looked over to find Ghostbur sitting next to Schlatt though Schlatt had made himself invisible now only apparent to the other ghosts he looked petrified looking at them both tears streaming down his cheeks

Quackity watched as Tommy walked over they saw Ghostbur who happily got up and hugged Fundy but he noticed he seemed to be talking to someone else

Quackity felt his heard drop yet a glimmer of hope-filled his chest "Schlatt?..." he asked tentatively before Tommy looked up and nodded

Slowly the Ram appeared wearing the Blue Sweater he had given him though now it had a red heart with an X over it "Hi Quackity…" He said his voice soft  
"Look I wanna apologize I was a Horrid leader and an even worse friend, I didn't take anyone else's feelings into consideration I was selfish and cruel and I deserved far worse than a heart attack-" he was interrupted by arms falling around him

Quackity was hugging him close sobbing "I missed you asshat…" he said though strained "I've already forgiven you-"

With that Schlatt began crying as well hugging Quackity- no his friend…. Closely not wanting to let go and risk losing him once more he pulled back looking at his friend "Your leg… what the hell happened…"

Quackity chuckled "Ah right- Well When Wilbur blew everything up I happened to be right on top of the explosion, I got sent flying thankfully I landed in water so I didn't lose a life though my leg had to be Amputated and I have some wicked cool scarring but otherwise I'm fine"!

Schlatt looked over to Ghostbur who looked somewhat ashamed before Fundy caught his attention once more Schlatt only nodded "I'm glad you're okay…"

Tommy felt… odd… he had come here full of hatred and anger and yet- he found three people who he realized were on his side and cared about him, they didn't even show pity knowing he was dead or dread 

They looked Happy to see him which was odd… but he figured it was something he could get used to feeling a warmth in his chest he had gone without for so long a smile stretched across his face as he watched his friends

Fundy and Ghostbur chatted catching each other up on what had happened on both ends 

Quackity and Schlatt sat on the ground though neither fully let go of each other in fear the other would disappear 

While Tommy sat on the bench his head on Ranboo's shoulder listening to Melloni play as he closed his eyes feeling at ease for the first time in what felt like months…

_________  
Eret walked into Nikki's Bakery greeting her with a smile "Hey! Have you seen any of the boys"?

Nikki perked up as she set out a tray of fresh cookies "Fundy, Quackity, and Ranboo? Nope  
Ranboo went to water the garden and I think Fundy and Quackity went to hang out with him as well they'll be back soon enough"

Eret nodded "Need any help then"? He asked smiling

She nodded "Yeah you can help mix these and I'll text Ranboo to let him know I made cookies and to hurry back before dark," she said as Eret did as he was asked whilst she pulled out her communicator 

Ranboo perked up "Oh Nikki texted me- Cookies are ready and sunsets in a few minutes"

Tommy perked up "Oh yay cookies-... Who's Nikki"?

Fundy tilted his head "Can Ghosts even eat food"?

Ghostbur nodded "We can but we don't have to since we don't need it to survive its just for the sake of experiencing it I guess" 

So with that, the boys all got up and began heading back all three ghosts turning themselves invisible but their presence was still Apparent with Wilbur having a hand on Fundys shoulder  
Schlatts arms around Quackitys neck holding onto him  
And Tommy holding onto Ranboo 

They walked and passed Tubbo who gave them a soft wave and offered a smile which they returned though only Ranboo seemed genuine in the gesture 

Tommy felt rage boiling up when he saw Tubbo  
Tubbo  
T u b b o-  
T U B B O  
T u b b o  
T. B. B. O  
U. B. B. O. O. T  
O. U. B. T. U. B. O

But he was snapped out of it when he was pulled away by Ranboo and into the Bakery

Eret looked up smiling "Ah Boys welcome back- Niki made cookies, and I have some Steak I prepped for dinner help yourselves" 

Fundy grinned thanking him but Eret paused once Ghostbur showed himself Ghostbur smiled waving and Eret returned the Gesture "OH hey it's been a while- how are you"? He said seeming genuine though Tommy knew better than to trust a Traitor…

Ghostbur chuckled "I've Had worse happen"

Nikki came in and smiled greeting them "Oh hey Ghostbur!- she said cheerfully "

Ghostbur smiled waving then turned to the group "Go on they aren't gonna bite-"

Nikki and Eret exchanged confused glances before another figure came into view  
Schlatt

They both tensed up and Schlatt panicked slightly but took a deep breath "Look…. You both deserve an apology… I was a horrid leader and an even worse friend I hurt you both and I don't expect you to forgive me but I want you to know i'm sorry for what I have done and there hasn't been a day that goes by that I don't wish I could go back and change it all"

They glanced at one another and noticed he was hugging Quackitys arm the boy looking happy at the contact and they nodded  
Nikki smiled "I accept your apology- I don't completely forgive you but I'm glad to see Quackity out of his funk"

Eret nodded "And hey with you around if you truly wanna make it up to us might as well help out, that's what Ghostbur did for a while putting the lanterns up and fixing up random things around the city"

Schlatt nodded smiling softly "I'd like that…. I'd like that a lot actually…"

Ranboo spoke up "And um there's one more surprise-" he gestured to the tray of cookies where one began floating up before part of it vanishing leaving an obvious bite mark in it 

Nikki looked at him confused but Eret seemed to piece it together covering his mouth "Oh god….."

Soon enough as the first cookie vanished as he reached for another they saw him  
Tommy except with light gray skin, Glossy eyes, faded yellow hair, and faded Red Bandanna, floating in the air happily munching away at the cookies

Nicki's smile fell "Oh Tommy…" she said heartbroken 

Eret looked over at Ghostbur who simply shrugged before Schlatt spoke "This is the Happiest I've seen him in almost a month… Well, explain what happened later for now just let him enjoy this.. please-"

They paused but soon enough everyone nodded as they sat down at the dinner table and began conversing joking and laughing with one another

The night continued and ended with everyone cooped up inside Nikkis Cabin  
Tommy was sleeping on Ranboo trusting him the most of the group 

Eret looked at them Cautiously "So what… DID happen to Tommy…." He asked dreading the answer 

Ghostbur looked around the room double-checking Tommy was asleep before nodding "Well you see… When Tommy was exiled it was raining…. He ate all his food on the journey and Dream simply built him a dirt shack before destroying all his supplies except the stuff I could hide which wasn't much

He ended up getting sick really really really sick…. I couldn't leave him alone long enough to go get help without the fear that when Id come back my little brother would be dead- One day I came back and Schlatt was there he watched Over Tommy while I went to get a Cleric

They said that his body had been fighting for too long and he was starting to give up- even with a ton of healing potions he didn't end up making it"

Schlatt spoke up "Wilbur… when you left me and him spoke- Broke my fucking heart, I apologized and kept encouraging him to keep fighting but he said he'd lost everything  
His home  
His friends  
His family  
And that he had no reason to keep fighting….  
I was furious that Tubbo of all people exiled him, and that he hadn't learned from my past mistakes "

Quackity hugged him as the others took in this information glancing at Tommy Eret sighed rubbing his temples "Fucking hell…. Does anyone else know yet"?

Ghostbur nodded "Punz and Ponk we ran into them on the way here but they promised not to tell anyone as a favor for Tommy"

Eret nodded looking down at Tommy "How is he planning to go about this exactly-"?

Ghostbur shrugged "He mainly wanted to see you guys and confront Tubbo and Dream, so who knows… well probably just hang around here and slowly wait for people to see him”

Wilbur sat up “I sent a letter to Techno telling him about Schlatt helping me care for Tommy, Tommy's death, and us coming here so I wouldn't be surprised we get a sudden visit from my brother” he said softly

Eret nodded “That's sure to cause some welcomed chaos… and if he hears what Dream and Tubbo did to Tommy I'm worried what he may do to them”

WIlbur shrugged “Tubbo probably just yelling and a lot of telling him the hard truth, while for Dream I wouldn't be surprised if Techno tried to kill him or at least take one of his lives"

With that the group seemed satisfied with their answers and began to fall asleep one by one  
First Fundy  
Then Ranboo  
Niki  
Wilbur  
Quackity  
Schlatt

And finally Eret looked at the group sighing deeply thinking over all the pain they were forced to go through due to what happened but it was too late to take any of that back all he could do is try and atone for his past actions and do what he could to protect them now and with that he fell asleep


	7. Family's Mourning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Forget me nots,
> 
> They symbolise true, unflattering love, and truth and pain that comes along with such a strong connection, though the love only grows

Techno sat in his cabin before he heard a soft knock on his door he opened it to find a villager handing him a few letters he handed them a bag of Potatoes as a tip before sifting through the letters

One was from Phil, another from the chief of the nearby village thanking him for solving their monster problem with Iron Golems, but the next letter stood out it was a pale cream color and had a red ribbon wrapped around it tied neatly and on the front had a flower branch stuck onto the ribbon

Forget me nots…..

They were his favorite flower-  
He set the other two letters to the side and carefully opened that one up carefully setting the ribbon and flower to the side even careful not to rip the envelope

Inside was a single letter in a all too familiar handwriting

Dear brother,

It's me Wilbur :),  
I'm writing before going on a journey, Tommy was exiled from L’manberg about a month ago and I went with him of course. But when he was exiled Dream forced him to travel a long spanse of area whilst in the rain then took away all the supplies I couldn’t hide in my inventory in time…

He ended up getting sick really… really sick- since we were forced so far out I couldn't just travel to get help without leaving him unsupervised and vulnerable, that was until one-day Schlatt showed up he helped out as I went to visit a Cleric

He helped me with Tommy and helped brew health potions etc, but sadly it wasn’t enough and Tommy has passed away, hes the opposite of me where he only really remembers negative memories though his memory is much better than mine so hes been acting out a bit, we are now traveling together back to L’Manberg for Tommy’s sake to hope he can find a bit of peace and closure for what happened to him.

I hope to hear from you soon if not know that we both love you so much and I wish you the best,  
Love Wilby 

Techno looked down at the note feeling tears streaming down his cheeks, anger swelling up in his chest,  
It was unfair…..  
He knew that he should have taken Tommy with him, taken him and Wilbur away from this mess when the first red flag showed up.

He sighed carefully folding the note sending a letter to Phil before he began gathering his stuff sleeping through the night and the next morning getting onto his horse and setting off towards L’manberg towards his family

_________  
Phil sat in his cabin his hands placed on the edges of the stove as he looked down at the tea kettle sighing, memories playing on repeat in his head about his boys, how did he not see this sooner he SHOULD have been there for them when they needed a dad

He had tried to let them be kids, not be the overbearing parent his parents were, and it worked out for the most part, they would get in scuffles or minor injures but they would always come to him when they needed help.

But when had it changed from him being a lenient dad to downright neglectful….  
he wasn't perfect he knew that but that didn't stop him from feeling like this whole thing was entirely his fault, his sons, caught in a war one of them off in the wind but finally seeming at peace

Another exiled from his own land and friends, and the 3rd died by his hands in an act of Mercy…  
Was it actually mercy? Or is that just what he keeps telling himself.

He was pulled out of his thought spiral by the loud whistle of the tea kettle he sighed grabbing a cup and pouring it in sitting down at his coffee table he paused going over to his door and smiled to see a letter he quickly scooped it up before heading back inside 

He sat down at the table taking a long sip of his tea as he opened the letter 

Dear Father,  
Yes in fact I would enjoy it very much if you sent me some of Nikis treats with the next letter but not now at least, i'm heading to L’manberg right now after receiving a letter from Wilbur I decided it's about time I see my brothers again by the time you receive this letter I would have already started my jorney and heck I may even arrive soon after you finish reading this.

I love you and I will see you soon Dad,  
Love Your Blade -SUB TO TECHNO :)-

Phil looked down at the letter blinking slightly but before he could fully process what it said a nocking came at his door he abandoned the letter and his drink rushing to open the door.

He smiled seeing Techno towering over him wearing his blue robes and offering a small yet awkward smile “hi dad-” Phil quickly grabbed his arm pulling him into the house and locking the door behind him turning to him and giving him a hug  
“Oooh I missed you Sunshine-...”

There was a small pause before Techno quickly returned the hug sighing they stayed like this until Phil pulled back “Wait WIlbur sent you a letter? What was it about”?

Technos smile fell slightly and he sighed handing Phil the small parchment he quickly read it while Techno spoke

“As soon as I got it I knew I needed to see you all immediately- I should have come much sooner maybe I could have prevented this if I had just been the big brother I was supposed to be and watched after them, and I know Wilbur is technically older then me but it doesn’t change the fact that im pretty much like an older brother to them both”

Phil held out his arm patting technos cheek “Shh- both of us could have done so much more for them, I failed all three of you but past is the past all we can do now is be there for them okay Techie”?

Techno nodded leaning into Phils palm Phil held him there for a bit before smiling “How about some Tea hmm? We can go visit them tomorrow but for now you've had a long journey and you need your energy if your caught and suddenly need to flee” he said in a teasing tone though the reality Techno may be run out if spotted by the wrong person was sadly all too true.

Techno gave a soft nodd moving towards the Kitchen with Phil a few paces ahead  
“I have Chamomile that I just made right before you arrived im having myself a cup, but there's also Peach”  
Techno shook his head “I never understood how Tommy enjoyed that garbage if I wanna taste Peaches ill have the actual fruit or else ill start craving them as soon as I take a bite”

Phil chuckled continuing to dig through the cabinets “Your not wrong there- though I'm more a herbal guy myself I know Tommy prefers sweeter flavors, hmm maybe- how about Peppermint”

Techno sat down “Nah that's more Wilburs thing- he always enjoyed the fresh taste though I always thought of it as spicy leaves-”

Phil smiled digging though his cabinets more “OH here we go- I have some Cinnamon tea”?

With that Techno perked up giving a soft nod as Phil cleaned out the kettle pouring the rest of his tea in a jar to heat up later while pouring in the water for Technos tea

Once the drink was finished he set it down Techno giving a soft barley audible ‘“thank you-” before drinking it

Phil took his seat across from him drinking his own tea as they chatted about life, his farm, reminiscing over old memories, and simply enjoying each others company

Gods.. he hadn't realized how much he missed this…

After a long time of chatting both of them getting various refills and him pulling out some various treats hed gotten from Niki throughout the week, they finally turned in for the night both going to sleep at peace for the first time in what felt like an eternity


	8. Rulers Issues-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being in charge is something that many wish but few can succeed at,
> 
> Even some of the best leaders admit that they have to go against there very nature and sometimes it becomes too much-

Tubbo sat up in his bed he was utterly exhausted, he just wanted to curl back up and fall asleep forever, not having to deal with any of his responsibilities. 

But he knew he had a meeting with Dream later that day so he would have had to get up eventually and he'd rather not be late or half asleep during it

He dragged himself out of bed going to his closet and putting on a clean suit brushing out his hair and he froze as he looked at his mirror on the corner he had taped on two pictures

One with L’Manberg revolution having Fundy,Niki,Wilbur,Eret,him, and Tommy all in their uniforms grinning and laughing

The second was after the revolution and right after Schlatt was dethroned having everyone in their new clothes but still smiling though Wilbur had a distant gaze in his eyes and there were more people within this photo compared to the other one

He looked up at Tommy and sighed he wanted so badly to take back everything apologize and make his friend come home,

But he was the president now he had to take responsibility and be the rock his people could rely on and if that meant sacrificing his friendship to Tommy and his own personal happiness so that his citizens could live without a war?

Then so be it-

But he'd be lying if he said he didn't miss Tommy desperately but he needed to do what was best for the people of L’manberg  
At least that's what he told himself 

Tubbo walked down the halls of his home and looked out the window spotting Fundy and Ghostbur chatting happily and Ranboo next to them and what looked like… he froze and ran back looking out the window once more but just as soon as he thought he had seen Tommy he was gone.

He sighed rubbing his temples, he really needed to get more sleep, he concluded before continuing to the pre planned meeting spot with Dream  
__________  
Dream sat in his base sighing as he drank another potion 

When did everything become so complicated? 

When did he have to start putting in so much effort to remain in control?

He was always 5 steps ahead of everyone planning out every possible course of action far in advance, but ever since Technos banishment and Wilburs episode thats become harder and harder to maintain.

Thankfully due to Ranboo being added to the server Nikki,Eret,Quackity, and him stayed out of his way for the most part.

Phil and Eret always busy with Fundy or Phil going off to visit Techno wherever the hell he is- better him out of the way regardless 

He made sure to have near constant tasks for Tubbo keeping him busy almost always so that if anything he wouldn't be able to see what Dream did behind the scenes,

But he fucked up-  
Seeing Eret getting so close to the others and making amends with Tommy it was a risk to keep him as king knowing that if it was him vs Tommy eret would side with his friends over siding with Dream.

So he appointed George to be the new king, but with that furthering his favoritism of George and putting even more a strain on his relationship with Fundy

And after Tommy ransacked George's home he realized the danger he put his friend in and dethroned him willing to put up with the “what if” Eret goes against him more so then the possibility of george being caught in the crossfire and hurt

But what he hadn't predicted was that Sapnap and Quackity would start to see through the cracks and beginning to pick him apart- he was just so angry at Tommy that he snapped saying he didn't care about anything but the disks,the ultimate key to near complete control over Tommy,

Tommy being exiled was the best course of action right?

Sapnap confronted him saying that he valued his power more then his friends and no matter what he said he started to realize they weret exactly wrong in that sense, so they left him… and he was truly alone again-

But that was okay because HE has the power HE alone has the control over practically everyone he is the puppeteer in this giant complicated stage play of Marrienettes 

So why now can he only sit back and watch as more and more of his puppets cut away there strings breaking from his control, but he can't dwell on that right now he still has to meet with Tubbo soon….


	9. NOT AN UPDATE- AUTHOR PLOT HOLE FIXED

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I was re reading it and found a plot hole, I kept trying to ignore it while writing the new chapter but it continued to bug me too much.

This is NOT an update, though there probably will be an update if not tonight probably by this weekend

To summarize I kept noticing one thing that threw me off they would KNOW tommys dead beacuse of the Death messages right? It needed to be more of a suprise 

S O I'm adding in while Tommy was sick but still somewhat grounded he broke his communication device so that it wouldn't have sent out a remind for his death, he wanted to tell them himself, watch their reactions,

A n d thats all folks I'm currently working on the newest chapter again will be posted by Sunday night though probably sooner and with X-mas break coming up ill be writing a lot more so be ready for a sudden Influx of updates coming up at the end of next week going till January 5th


	10. Family Bonds and Paper lanterns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Phil and Techno together now its time for a family reunion
> 
> Phil looks at them all his boys-  
> Wilbur his Moonbeam  
> Techno his Sunshine  
> And   
> Tommy his little star
> 
> Now their light faded and broken would they really ever be able to be at peace with eachother again?

Fundy woke up the next morning to his communicator buzzing he groaned softly before picking it up reading the text he was dreading a text from Tubbo, Maybe hoping for a text from Dream

But instead he found neither of those things instead all he found was a text from his Grandpa

1 new message

[PHILZA]- hey fundy, can you stop by later today we need to talk, if you can please bring your dad and Uncle with you, knowing them I know you know where they are, also I got the supplies you asked me for the pink ribbon also arrived ill see you soon love ya my little fox

Fundy smiled reading the message but paused as he read the end ‘Pink ribbon’?

It clicked and he smiled even more that meant uncle Techno was in town- probably meaning they got his dads letters he sighed and stood up going around and gently waking up Nikki

He showed Nikki the text and she nodded getting up as both prepared breakfast for the group as they woke up one by one greeted with a stack of pancakes each 

Once everyone was fairly awake Fundy shared the message with the group.

Ghostbur flew around excited to see his family, while Tommy hesitated the memories of Phil killing his brother, and Techno trying to kill well- everyone including Tommy, though he also had the memories of growing up with them both it was all really confusing 

But he hoped this meeting would help clear things up a bit hopefully for the better.

Once they finished breakfast Nikki headed to the bakery to begin setting up for the day with Eret coming with to help out Ranboo joining them.

Quackity left to go see his other friends and check up on George (not yet aware of the whole dethroning of his friend)

While fundy went with his dad and Uncle to go visit their Grandpa.

Techno waited anxiously at the table drinking his tea, he had gotten so used to freezing water being his only drink that he had drank almost nothing but Cinnamon tea since he arrived, it reminded him so much of him and his brothers all on the couch eating and drinking tea, sharing stories, before eventually passing out one by one waking up the next morning sore but not regretting a single moment of it.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by knocking and looked up as Phil walked over opening the door he smiled pulling Fundy into a hug but he looked to be alone. He led Fundy inside shutting the door and sitting him down “Thirsty”?

Fundy nodded “May I have some Jasmine tea?- and your sons are here Dad is just a bit nervous to see you and Tommy… is more so confused and scared” 

Phil nodded setting the cup down, Fundy thanking him softly before taking a sip “I see… is that because of the whole memory thing”?

Fundy nodded “He remembers growing up so he has a lot of positive memories of you two but he also remembers Tubbos execution, the wither attack, and well Wilbur dying…. Hes having trouble piecing together that your the same people since his memories in between are all fuzzy”

Phil nodded “So where are they exactly”?

Fundy chuckled “I told them to wait outside so I could brief you so your prepared for what to expect”

They both nodded as Fundy stood up walking over to the door and opening it up “You two can come in now” he said happily and within seconds Ghostbur ran inside grinning and floating around

“Fundy my boi- Hey dad- oh my gosh techno Im so happy to see you its been way to long- eww your still drinking that Shitty tea, im just woah sorry i had pancakes I didnt know ghosts could get sugar High but I think I am right now- TOMMY get in here” he said whilst rambling

Techno chuckled at Wilbur's actions “Don't insult my tea when you have shit taste as well- Phil is the only one of us who has a genuine good taste in Tea”

Ghostbur chuckled slowly floating down and sitting in a chair next to Techno “Ah you got me there-”

Tommy walked into the house still having himself invisible and messing with the sleeves of his shirt looking uncomfortably at the group before he slowly pulled out a chair sitting down still not showing himself.

Phil noticed the chair move and quickly went to shut the door sitting back down and smiling softly “Hello my Little star-” he said in a soft tone

With that Tommy showed himself silent tears running down his cheeks “Im sorry-”

Phil stood up rushing across the table to hold his son “Shhh Shhh no baby- im the one who should be sorry for not being there for you when you needed me most,”

Ghostbur joined in on the hug with Technos arms surrounding all of them “We should have told you sooner- not when I had already had a mental breakdown…. You did your best and thats good enough your here now”

Phil ran his hands through Tommy's hair muttering soft praises as he spoke “Shhh its okay My little star- Now how would you all like some cookies I promised Fundy some bonding time and even if im glad to see you all I refuse to leave him hanging” he said before pulling out of the hug and walking into the other room as everyone took a seat Again Phil heading outside to grab some stuff. 

Fundy looked up at them “Little star”?

Ghostbur spoke up “Its a Lullaby Phil made for us- Its the Three sky princes, the Oldest is the Moon prince, gifted in song that helps provide peace and comfort for his people but is unpredictable, 

The middle child the Sun prince is the gaurdien and protector of the three but can sometimes get too hot to handle both literally and figuratively, 

and finally the Star prince still young and the smallest of the three but he is a guide to those in need and a reliable loyal friend” he explained simply

Fundy looked surprised “That's like… creepily accurate to you three now”

Wilbur nodded “YUP I think he wrote the second verse when Tommy was about 7 or so- the first part isn't as personal though but still sweet regardless”

Phil returned soon after with the supplies laying them all out and Ghostbur lit up looking at Phil even Tommy gave a weak smile seeing the supplies

Lanterns… when was the last time Tommy had made lanterns? He couldn't remember… he can't even remember how they are supposed to be made and yet he picks up a few of the supplies as Phil puts a disc into a jukebox letting music play as they got to work.

Techno worked out making tedious detailing on his lantern it was beautiful and surprisingly intricate, which suited Techno, he looked calm simple humming along with the music in the background as he worked.

Ghostbur was humming happily occasionally adding in some scat, or making up lyrics of his own, as he worked on his lantern it was a bit sloppier than Techno, but he seemed to have near perfected his technique after years of practice, and having filled a part of the server with them as decoration.

Tommy glanced over to see Phil sitting next to Fundy carefully walking him through each step as Fundy focused trying to get everything just right narrowing his eyes in a feeble attempt to concentrate on the task at hand.

Tommy looked down at his lantern as he added on the final touches setting it on the table slowly and simply looking at it feeling warmth pooling in his chest pride filling him

I did it…

Soon after everyone finished up Phil guided them to the area Ghostbur had set up all the lanterns.

They took down some of them that had been damaged due to wear and tear, replacing them with the newly made ones.

Tommy watched as his lantern floated into the air resting next to all the others emitting a soft glow as it swayed in the wind, the only sound being Phils soft praise over them and soft crickets chirping in the nearby brush.

He looked up at the brush then at the group he felt…. Happy-

But that vanished all too soon as he begin hearing a soft static sound he looked around trying to pin-point where it was coming from but it seemed to have no source only getting louder and louder coming from all angles, coming for him.

He felt panic set in he turned to the group but all he saw where their figures there faces blurred out by black as the static continued to grow, 

why WHY was this happening?

It was loud

It was TOO loud

What was wrong with him?

Make it stop

This was supposed to be perfect-

Please PLEASE make it stop-

Didn't he used to do this all the time?

He cant remember….

This all feels right but it feels wrong..

Phil was supposed to be the man who abandoned them and murdered his brother, then joined Technos side leaving Tommy alone,

Techno was the anarchist who betrayed his family and did nothing to help Tommy stop Wilburs spiral,

Fundy is the betrayer who burned down the flag, he was WITH Schaltt, his Betrayal weather an act or not helped further Wilburs breakdown,

And Wilbur, his big brother, the person he looked up too more than anyone else, was dead and gone, having destroyed almost everything after feeling he had no other choice and having spiraled into his own madness, 

and even until the end he had used Tommy as a pawn in the war no longer seeing him as his little brother, but just as a chess piece in a loosing game where he would do anything to taste Victory.

Yet here they are acting happy and content making fucking paper lanterns,singing, cracking jokes, it was amazing but it still felt WRONG as if they were acting like nothing bad had happened and they were still all kids under Phils wings living in the Cabin on the hill,

A time where they could Talk to one another, scream and cry there hearts out, a time they could sneak into Phils room whenever they were played with childish fears, he never wanted it….

He wished he was still scared of just the dark and just mobs instead of scared of his own family murdering one another or watching his friends slowly slip from his grasp, even seeing his own life fade away.

it didnt make up for everything they had done… none of them had even apologized...

He felt a rush of overwhelming emotions all at once he was freezing, yet felt like he was being boiled alive, he wanted to scream, he wanted to cry, but most of all he felt FEAR an all consuming fear slowly draining all the life he had left out of him drop by drop ,

And it didn't seem like it was going to let up until it left nothing behind

He snapped out of it feeling a hand on his shoulder and he looked to see Fundy “You okay”? He asked in a soft tone Tommy blinked slightly as the static seemed to fade and Fundys face became more recognizable he gave a soft nod looking up at the other three.

Ghostbur with his legs hanging off the balcony pulling a guitar out of his inventory as he began playing a tune,

With Phil re doing the knots on the rope that held the lanterns in place, 

and Techno had his eyes fixated on the stars as he listened to Ghostburs quiet melody

Tommy sighed rubbing the palms of his hands into his eyes trying to ground himself as he starred off the ledge before floating up “ 'm tired.. I'll see you soon-”

Phil looked up “Alright see you soon Tommy-” he said offering his son a soft smile 

Tommy looked at Phil he saw the smile of the dad that loved him so much but instead of the warm fuzz and comfort he usually felt.

All he felt was cold and bitter-

He gave a soft nod before turning away and floating off to rest… where exactly? He didn't know

He floated around a bit before his eyes rested on where his house used to be Now replaced with a small flower garden he floated down laying on top of the bench looking up at the night sky.

He saw a bit of movement and perked up looking at the flowers he saw a few Bees floating around going from flower to flower he froze a soft smile on his lips as he reached forward, one of the bees landing on his hand

He gently moved his hand pulling the bee closer to his chest and looking down on it he felt happy for a split second though that same twisted sick feeling in his gut overwhelmed that happiness once more-

He sighed and held his hand out the bee floating away and he gave a glance to Tubbos house

Soon….

But for today.. he was too tired-


	11. Campfire songs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy memories are a luxury that few realize they have until they fade away.
> 
> Could a Camera, a Fire, and some Marshmallow's really make that much of a diffrence?

Tommy woke up to a bright light in his eyes he whined softly before opening them blinking as his eyes adjusted to the fact it was now morning.

When was the last time he had slept that long without interruption,

He cant remember….

But it feels like its been far too long,

He slowly floats up before resting on the bench once more looking out as the sun slowly rises above the horizon a wash of color coating the sky, he remembers it having a special name, 

what was it called again?

He had a vague memory of chatting with someone,  
a man, with inky blck skin and glowing eyes, holding a camera instructing Tommy on how to use it 

“See- this is the prime time for photos, an hour following the sun first rises, and the hour leading to the sun vanishing,

Its called the golden hour it gives some of the best lighting though I'm usually not awake early enough for the Sunrise since Skeppy isn't a morning person” he chuckled and turned to Tommy handing him the camera “Your turn”

Tommy reached out grabbing the camera and holding it up to peer through the lens only to be greeted with darkness,

He said something as he pulled away from the camera, though his words were murky

The man paused then looked at him giving a soft laugh “You Muffinhead- you have to take off the lens cap” he said before taking the small disc off the lens of the Camera and putting it into his pocket “Alright then now you try”!

Tommy felt his mouth curl into a smile and he peered back in but when seeing the view through the lens as he hit the button to take the photo, 

He was suddenly snapped out of the memory and he looked around seeing he was still in the garden with the sun slightly higher than before.

He sat there in shock… he remembered something… it didn't feel recent, nor did it feel like he was a child, like in his memories with his brothers.

This was new… and it was happy...

Tommy looked down at his hands now feeling odd at the loss of weight from holding the camera feeling a ghost of warmth in his chest… maybe he should look around and see if he knows the mysterious Camera man.

But right now he wasn't in the mood to go on a wild goose chase for someone he didn't even know the name off 

He was too tired…

Tommy sat at the bench and leaned back though he could only faintly feel the pressure of the wooden bench on his back, he looked back up at the sky watching as the almost etherial gold color that covered everywhere the light touched slowly became brighter as the sun rose.

Finally the sun coated most of the land in light no longer giving the town the golden mystic effect it had previously,

Why hasn't he done this before?   
Probably too busy with life in general

He guessed that was one advantage of being dead: you finally had all the time in the world to appreciate the smaller, more simple things in life.

He decided he would have to start coming to the bench for every sunrise and sunset this world had to offer. 

But he was snapped out of his thoughts by someone approaching him he froze making himself invisible, he felt panic wash over him his mind running through everyone it could be everyone who could hurt him, everyone who wanted to hurt him, he started feeling overwhelmed

But his panic subsided slightly when he spotted a familiar black and white figure holding a watering can, though now in a rubber like suit as he walked over watering some of the flowers.

Tommy floated over standing next to him “Why are you wearing a rubber suit”?

Ranboo jumped looking over before smiling “OH hey Tommy- Well im half enderman so water is like acid on my skin…. Though it can't kill me it's still not a pleasant experience when I get wet”

Tommy paused as he processed this and held his hand out “I can water them for you- I dont have much else to do and besides if ya going through all the trouble of wearing a full fucking hazmat suit just to water some flowers that you planted for me its the least I can do”

Ranboo paused and laughed “You got me there Tommy” he smiled before handing over the watering can to Tommy

Tommy grabbed the can, taking a second to adjust to how awkward holding things now felt, as he now had to focus on the fact he was holding something otherwise it would phase through his hand.

Ranboo stripped off his rubber gloves and went to sit down at the bench ‘So how was your night”?

Tommy gave him a look as he watered some of the flowers “Small talk…. Really”?

Ranboo chuckled and held his hands up “Yeah yeah- but I imagine you have a lot of blank spots and I can help fill them in, as well I wasn't really involved in the whole war thing or your family so im probably the most unbiased person to talk too”

Tommy sighed “Your right- and honestly, don't repeat this shit, but you're probably the person I trust the most at the moment… But yeah it was weird though”

Ranboo smiled his tail wagging slightly before he paused “Oh what was weird about last night”?

Tommy sighed as he moved to a new patch of flowers to water “Well it felt like it was the first time I'd slept so well in a while, I watched the sunset and I ended up remembering something”

Ranboos smile fell slightly “Oh- Do you wanna talk about it”?

Tommy turned to him noticing the shift in expression, as he floated over and went to refill the watering can, “That's just it… It was a happy memory… but it wasn't from me as a kid, but it didn't feel recent either it was strange”

Ranboo perked up smiling ‘Wanna tell me about it”?

Tommy shook his head “not really no- It's more confusing than anything and id probably get overwhelmed if I try and think about it right now” 

Ranboo gave a soft nod and Tommy was glad that he didn't push him for awnsers any further

Later on he left with Ranboo back to Nikki's Bakery for lunch, but as he turned the corner he made eye contact with a certain Green figure though they continued moving, he made himself invisible as he heard hurried footsteps towards him

He turned to see Dream holding an Axe fuming though he froze when Ranboo looked over smiling.

Thankfully, due to his mask, able to play off his suprise easily "Hey Dream- Whats up does Tubbo need me"?

Dream looked around before sighing putting his Axe away "Sorry- I haven't slept in a bit I thought I saw someone"

Ranboo nodded turning to face him "You really need some sleep- I could ask Bad to brew some sleeping potions for you, heck I'm on my way to Nikki's for lunch wanna join me"?

Who's bad? 

Tommy wondered though his panic spiked again when Dream spoke.

Dream shook his head "No thanks I have some stuff on my plate though I'll take you up on the potion thing, though don't tell Bad its from me.."

Ranboo nodded "Alright ill give em to Tubbo if I cant find you see you later Dream"!

Dream gave a soft wave before walking off and Tommy felt himself sigh in relief

Ranboo continued walking before speaking softly "You okay Tommy"?

Tommy appeared slightly moving in and out of being visible or not as memories flooded through him, every time he blinked he saw another memory of Dream

Dream blowing stuff up

Helping Wilbur 

Threatening him

Exhiling him…

It was too much and he felt overwhelmed,

His breathing started to speed up as static flooded his senses only worsening the more he tried to block it out.

Tommy flew into a blind panic the static was so loud it made him want to tear out his own eardrums

He clasped his hands over his ears tears streaming down his cheeks as he struggled to think coherently he looked around at Ranboos face etched with concern,

But now he simply showed up as being blurred out hands reaching for him and words that he couldn't understand.

He needed to get away

He had to go

He wasn't safe

He wasn't okay

He turned invisible and flew off still breathing heavily trying to calm himself down though his memories only grew stronger the more he tried to block them out, 

He remembered a trick Phil taught him when he was younger where instead of getting overwhelmed by the bad memories or trying to block them out completely he should try to re-direct his focus to something else.

He tried 

Oh did he try-

But whenever he tried to redirect his attention the emotional pain would then transfer to Phantom Physical pain throwing him back into the loop of his nightmares

He was living a nightmare and he couldn't get out

When he finally managed to calm down enough to think he realized he didn't recognize where he was though he saw buildings- so he was still between L’manberg and Logstead but where exactly he wasn't completely sure of but he noticed some people off to the side and floated over.

He saw 4 figures

One had a cloak and cat like features almost like a Siamese,

Another had green dyed hair the only way he could tell was the black roots, as well a mask similar to dreams but a creeper head

The next one had spiked up black hair, had on a blue diamond color hoodie, and a face mask with a derpy smile on the front,

But the final person made Tommy freeze and light up It was HIM it was the Camera man he almost couldn't contain his relief and he flew over quickly 

The group was gathered around a campfire roasting marshmallows and chatting 

The siamese speaking towards the one in blue,

“SKEPPY Your gonna burn your marshmallow-”!

“No im not- worry about yourself Ant BESIDES The burnt part tastes the best”

The one wearing a creeper mask made a gagging sound “Your disgusting.. I mean Charred is good but BURNT”

“HEY! Im not as bad as well bad, he eats them raw he wont even let me heat it up enough for smores, the man eats COLD smores thats just wrong”

He gestured to The camera man- or well Bad…, Grabbing a marshmallow out of the bag and putting it on top of the chocolate and Gram Crackers before taking a bite unaffected by the fact it was cold

Tommy didn't have any memories concerning the other 3 so he assumed he was safe but he didnt wanna risk it,

instead opting to just sit down on the bench next to Bad listening to their conversation- He wondered if Schlatt or Ghostbur ever didn't this when they wanted company

He'd have to ask them another time-

Tommy was in the middle of listening to the conversation when he reached over grabbing a marshmallow from the bag without thinking and eating it.

He continued grabbing another but as he took a bit he noticed the eyes on him Ant paused "Um- Ghostbur?, is that you? If you wanted some you could have joined us"

Tommy panicked shoving the rest of the sweet in his mouth and going to leave before Bad spoke up

"Hey hey don't go- I can feel you moved… it's okay if you don't wanna show yourself, whoever you are, want another Marshmallow"? Bad asked holding the bag out in Tommus direction 

Tommy paused but reached over grabbing one before sitting back down on the bench eating it softly

Skeppy chuckled "New ghost friend sick"! He yelped as he fell off his seat in excitement earning a laugh from his friends as he scrambled to sit back up looking down at the store he dropped sadly.

He reached over into the bag and quickly began preparing a new one in the fire,

Sam paused his laughter dying down at Skeppy's Expense before turning to The group "Who do you think it is"?

Ant shrugged "Dunno- Probably not Ghostbur… and I doubt Schlatt though if he did I wouldn't be surprised, 

though I don't think anyone else has died that we know of unless one of them broke their communicator and the message failed to go through"

Bad nodded and looked over at the figure "You know you can show yourself- we aren't gonna hurt ya or be mad… heck we won't tell anyone you're here if you don't want us too" he said in his normal cheerful tone hoping to entise a reaction.

Skeppy lit up and reached behind the seat grabbing his satchel, he dug through it a bit before pulling out a notebook and Pen setting it by Tommy "Here just write it down"

Tommy grabbed the pen then wrote out he struggled to write but managed to write out

"Don't know three, know Camera Man"

Skeppy read the note out loud then paused "Camera Man… you mean Bad"?

Tommy smiled, happy they understood making a mental note that he needed to practice writing later on as he put the pen back on the paper writing out a reply.

-Y E S-

Bad smiled suddenly getting an idea "OH one sec" he said shooting up off his seat and excusing himself for a bit as he went into his house

It took him a bit but soon enough he came back holding his camera bag and pulled out his camera "Wanna take a group photo"?

Tommy lit up and circled the YES over and over holding the notepad up to Bad

Bad chuckled at the enthusiasm quickly agreeing, and set up the Tri pod and putting on a timer clicking it 

Everyone quickly got into place Tommy staying invisible but sitting in front of the group holding up a peace sign with his tounge sticking out and grinning smugly 

There was a flash of the camera before Tommy floated away excitedly watching as Bad walked over to the camera "NOW let's see who our new friend is-" he said cheerfully as he clicked to his gallery

But all too soon his smile fell earning confused looks from his friends 

Ant tilted his head "Bad?... who is it"?

Bad looked up as tears started streaming down his cheeks hiccuping softly "Oh Notch….-" 

Skeppy came forward and pulled Bad into a hug soothing him as Sam peered to look at the photo shock playing on his face as he looked up at the floating notebook "Tommy"?

Tommy hesitated but slowly revealed himself giving them a confused look and wringing his hands together nervously

"You all know me?... are we friends"?

Sam nodded "Not that close but yes- What do you remember"?

Tommy floated down grabbing another Marshmallow "I remember all the bad stuff- but my memory is better than Ghostbur!" He said his tone turning cheerful as he continued 

"I remember most stuff when I was a kid, and almost everything after my exile but in-between gets all fuzzy" he said huffing before looking up at Bad

"Your the exception! Your my one new happy memory!- We were in a field at sunrise and you showed me how to use a camera, I remember feeling so happy" he said smiling Brightly as the memory played in the back of his head on loop, one of the few defenses he had against the rest of his consciousness.

Bad smiled "Yeah that was- I think a year or so ago… Phil bought you a Camera and I showed you how to use it, though it ended up being destroyed in a explosion a few months ago-"

Tommy smiled at them "So- to make sure I've got this right, Your Bad, Your Skeppy… Your Ant and your Sam"?

He said while pointing to each person

They all nodded and Skeppy spoke "So does anyone else know about you being… dead"?

Tommy nodded "Ghostbur went into Exile with me, and we met Schlatt but he's better now, Ummm as we were coming back We saw Punz and Purpled" he said struggling to peice together the memory

"Then Ranboo … Ranboo's my closest friend" he said cheerfully before continuing "Then um- Quackity and Fundy, then they took us to Nikki's bakery and we saw Eret as well" 

Tommy sighed, relaxing a bit "Then I met up with Techno and Phil, Ghostbur and Fundy went with, and we all made paper lanterns to replace the broken ones " he said though his smile fell slightly 

"A-and I saw Dream, He spotted me but Ranboo managed to play it off and he believed it……. thought I got overwhelmed and panicked, it became too much so I flew off and I found you guys" his voice dying down as he felt the static sound begin to rise up once again panic seizing him 

Ant reached out handing Tommy another Marshmallow "Well i'm glad to see your doing okay Tommy… at least better than any of us would have been in your situation"

Tommy paused grabbing the Marshmallow and biting into it letting the sweet flavor melt on his tounge, it was almost too sweet but it was enough to snap him out of his Daze

"Thank you.." 

He spoke softly before sitting back down

Skeppy did finger guns and shot him a smile "Any time buddy"! He grinned 

Bad clasped his hands together "Help yourself to whatever- Wanna join us for the rest of the night? Your welcome to stay here a bit"

Tommy smiled finishing the Marshmallow as Sam began talking about a failed fishing trip with Skeppy rocking the boat causing Ant to fall into the water,

Tommy laughed along with them and for the time being he felt at peace he remembered the same feeling when he did the lanterns, he tensed preparing for the drop, ready for all the happiness to drain away into sorrow

But that moment never came instead he joined in on the stories laughing and chatting until he ended up drifting off

He felt a little less tired today…


	12. AUTHOR NOTE-

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quick question to determine how my workload will be spread out over break and for the foreseeable future

This sadly isn't an update- though a new chapter should come out by Monday,

Though the reason I'm posting this is I have also started working on the plot line for a High-school style AU, Maybe shipping though I usually do platonic centered.

Mainly Tommys Adoption story with Phil and his two older brothers, into a weird town in the middle of nowhere with some strange people.

Dynamics this would include is  
Phil being the adoptive father of Techno, Wilbur, and Tommy  
Some of there neighbors including   
Dream, Drista, and Purpled being siblings,  
Tubbo, Eret, Nikki, and Ranboo being siblings,  
Fundy being one of the new kids,  
Sapnap Dreams childhood friend with George being a new-ish addition,   
Probably Skeppy and Bad since I've fixated on them a bit as of recently,  
Local "drug dealer" Schlatt and his Friends Minx and Quackity  
And more 

As well as exploring relationships of diffrent charecters and dynamics,

But as much as I love this idea, I dont want to put all my time into it and leave This story in the dust, so my question is would you as the people reading my stories rather.

A. I finish up this story, and once finished move on to the next

Or

B. Start the High-school AU, whilst keeping up with this story and have both updating at similar times,   
(and even with writing two stories my update schedule probably won't change that much)

Please comment your opinions since I've been a bit back and forth on this and finally decided it would just be best to ask everyone who is actually invested and reading said stories. 

Other then that I will probably add a NEW chapter by Monday and I hope you continue to enjoy my stories!


	13. Camera shutter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Photos are a such a special thing aren't they? A moment memorialized forever something you can look back on again and again and share with those who weren't there to experience it themselfs.
> 
> To those who remembering is a luxury cameras are awfully convient aren't they?
> 
> Besides.... what harm can a simple photo do?

When Tommy came too he realized he was no longer outside instead as he sat up he saw he was in a living room with a blanket laid over top him.

He looked around and saw Sam face down on the opposite end of the couch asleep,

Ant on the ground in a odd yet seemingly comfortable pose,

And finally Skeppy and Bad curled up together in a chair nearby,

He felt his original panic subsided he ripped off some paper writing a note with some effort before setting it down he went to leave but was startled when he heard Bads voice 

"Hey Tommy wait I wanna give you something-"

Tommy looked over waving his hands "Oh no im okay- besides you'll just wake Skeppy"

Bad chuckled then shook his head "No actually this Muffinhead once slept through an earthquake and me throwing him off the bed to wake up…" he huffed as he climbed out of the chair "But hurry trust me you'll like this"

Tommy hesitated before following bad down the hall, Bad went into a room and came back out a few minutes later with an odd looking bag "Here! It's one of my old cameras and all the supplies you'll need, tri pod, lenses, everything! Ghostbur is happy with books so I guess your one happy memory being with a camera you'd appreciate it"

Tommy was in shock as Bad handed him the bag and placed the camera in his hands he felt tears running down his cheeks and overwhelming happiness flow through him he looked at bad and smiled pulling him into a hug "Thank you…" he said in almost a whisper before rushing forward and hugging him

Bad paused chuckling softly before returning the hug "Aww don't mention it You Muffin… feel free to swing by whenever and I can show you how to print out the pictures and get you a new memory card if you need it"

Tommy nodded, quickly taking in the information and holding onto Bad a bit longer before letting go and flying off, he already knew what he wanted his first picture to be of.

A bit of flying later he arrived back at Nikki's bakery and flew over to Ranboo 

Ranboo immidently looked relieved "Oh thank Notch- Ghostbur has been worried sick I'VE been worried sick, I was scared after you ran off in a panic"

Tommy nodded seeming to curl in on himself slightly looking down at the floor and fidgeting he had forgotten he left so suddenly, caught up in his own joy he hadn't even texted anyone.

"Sorry it was too much seeing Dream so soon…. I'm okay though- I ate Marshmallows with Bad, Skeppy, Ant, and Sam! Bad gave me a camera like in my memory and I wanna take a picture of us all as my first one" he said grinning

Ranboo chuckled relaxing and happy to see Tommy was not only okay, but seemed to be much happier then the previous day "Of course now take a seat and relax I'll go gather the others and tell them your okay" he said in a soft tone knowing that they would be relieved to see Tommy was okay,

Tommy nodded and floated down messing with the different controls on the Camera happily though he seemed to know what he was doing all the while.

Ranboo watched him for a minute or two more before walking off to go fetch everyone else, He ended up running into Phil Techno and Ghostbur smiling "Hey I found Tommy"!

Phil looked over and sighed smiling "Hey Ranboo- How is he? Is he okay "?

Ranboo nodded quickly "Yup- he got lost in the Badlands but hung out with friends, it slipped his mind to contact anyone but he seems much happier so that's good"

A few minutes passed and Ranboo came back bringing the others with him Phil looking relieved to see him, even Techno seemed to relax upon seeing his brother,

He was happy, he could have a family photo! Maybe try and recreate the one that hung over the Fireplace at their old cabin.

He remembered the picture vividly, He remembered how angry he was when Phil tried to dress him up and after countless tries with all three of them their dad had given up and instead asked them to wear their favorite clothing,

It had a much younger Phil sitting down on a chair wearing his signature Bucket hat and Kimono(idk the proper term),,

with a Toddler Tommy wearing a White shirt with red accented sleeves and collar,covered in bandaid's grinning so wide his eyes were closed,

Wilbur standing next to Phil with his hair still a vibrant pink and ears fully visible, he wore a Brown colored beanie that Tommy remembered smelt like Coco, he wore a Yellow turtleneck and Brown pegged style pants, he had a wide smile on his face and round glasses pushed up on his nose.

And finally Techno with a soft smile, squared off glasses, he had a white button up and Red button vest with small gold accents, his hair was only shoulder length at this time and had various small braids scattered throughout.

Tommy concluded it wouldn't be the same but it would be a happy family photo nonetheless- 

But no that couldn't be right,

They hated him-

Disowned him

The moment Phil killed his brother

And Techno summoned the Withers….

They had made their choice-

And they chose to leave Tommy behind in the wreckage of their choices, but he was snapped out of that spiral by a familiar voice

"Hey kiddo-" and he felt someone ruffle his hair, he smiled looking up at Schlatt "Heyy! Look what Bad gave me, I wanna take some photos of us all "he said cheerfully

Schaltt nodded looking at the younger boy he suddenly froze at the contact feeling something rush through him-

It was a memory but it wasn't his own… he was seeing an event through Tommy's eyes

Sitting at the campfire Eating Marshmallows with Bad, Skeppy, Ant, and Sam cracking jokes and laughing

Schlatt pulled away blinking a bit trying to regain his bearings as he looked down at him "You Went to the Badlands didn't you? And ate smores"

Tommy paused looking up and nodded "Yeah I ran into Dream though he thought he was seeing things- I panicked and ended up hanging out with Bad, Skeppy, Ant, and Sam all night"

Tommy gave a goofy grin looking at Schlatt "How'd you know"? He said confused

Schlatt paused wondering how the hell he would be able to explain that to Tommy, but the kid looked eager to take a photo and he decided it could be saved for later "Nevermind- now then, need any help setting up the camera"?

Tommy nodded and with Schlatt's help they positioned everyone as Tommy set up the Tri-pod attaching the camera on the top.

He stood behind it then looked up and smiled "Alright everyone ready"? He asked getting murmurs of confirmation or nods

He ducked to peer through the lense of the camera seeing everyones smile on the other side, he smiled before reaching up and clicking the button taking the photo.

He took a few more before finally pulling away and clicking to view the photos 

He began smiling as he noticed each minute detail in the photos, now only apparent in the stillness the photo itself created for each person.

Tommy flipped the photo over writing down the date taking his time to write out as cleanly as possible

-Dec-18-2020-

'Got a camera from Bad today, Family photo, I'll probably take another later'

It was short and simple yet helped memorialize the moment even more grinning as he pocketed the picture handing the other photos that simply had the date to each of the people in the photos.

After hanging out a bit more slowly one by one they all had to leave to attend to various things so instead,

Tommy spent the next few hours exploring L'manberg, Bad-lands, etc getting various photographs as well as making a hand drawn map in case he ever got lost again he'd know how to get back easier instead of panicking.

After finishing up mapping out some of the outskirts of the SMP he flew back into L'manberg and over to the flower garden sitting down on the bench and letting himself relax-

He looked out at the skyline as the sun slowly lowered bit by bit the light vanishing from sight.

Tommy lifted up his camera and took a photo- he smiled down at it, it had the flower garden, as well as the view of L'manberg and the sunset to top it off.

He never thought he'd be the type of person to take crappy sunset photos, but he didnt care, they made him happy so what if they were stereotypical 

It was something he enjoyed now materialized, a memory he could never forget ever again….

Tommy sighed and went over to the ender chest Ranboo had set up for various gardening supplies, he opened it up and placed the photo's and his camera inside for safe keeping before laying down on the bench once more.

He watched the horizon as the last bit of sunlight faded away before giving in to his exhaustion wanting to be well rested for whatever the next day threw at him.

But for now he just needed to rest-


	14. The Treehouse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In nature its always safer to be in the sky then the ground- the ground is rittled with danger, and every step would be your last,
> 
> Thats why so many animals changed and adapted, growing wings to soar through the skies above their troubles and ignore the pained cries from those unable to escape the ground.
> 
> Or maybe they learn and adapt, climbing the trees in order to escape the atrocities on the ground, though some animals that can escape choose not to, like that of a leopard coming down to cause chaos and harm those who live on the ground only to drag their unfortunate prey into the trees with them .
> 
> The ground isn't safe-  
> So for someone who longs for that sense of safety and normality,
> 
> His new home residing in the trees was a no brainer.

After Reciving the camera, as well as the when the others found out he had been sleeping in the garden every night, they decided he needed a place to stay

After much debating and bargaining he eventually decided on building a Tree house at the edge of the Holy lands, 

Everyone pitched in a bit to help him create the new home and each doing their part to make it feel more like a home then just another structure.

Phil helped with transitioning the design he wanted into something that would work as a tree house.

Though he was a bit bummed that purpled insisted that they couldn't build it with Cobblestone, though they eventually came to a compromise and added many cobblestone elements to Phil's dismay.

Sam built some cool Redstone features for him, one of which was an emergency lever that would camouflage the entire building in case he needed it, 

though he couldn't think of why he would ever need that- he was already dead, though he found it neat none-the-less

Ranboo helped him set up a small garden filling with with many different flowers and other plants that he could care for though they wouldn't take too much care,

He even got Phil to put one of his bee hives with it so they could come and visit Tommy, 

Ghostbur helped make everything more ghost friendly and had to remind Purpled to change various elements for the fact of they needed it to be accessible by guests but be able to be hidden away at the blink of an eye,

As well as at one point Tommy came home and realized his brother had gifted him almost a full chest's worth of Blue in various shades and a Blue dyed bed set.

Schaltt also joined later on and helped him set up his chest room and build a Nether portal in a hidden cave near-by his house, 

He tried also gifting him a bottle of Vodka as a Housewarming gift though Quackity took it away to Tommy's disappointment,

Though he did manage a small sip and decided it wasn't something he would have enjoyed drinking regardless-

Bad brought him a giant cork board and pins and set up a photo room, and with Skeppy's help, put string across the ceiling with small boxes of little clips so Tommy could slip the photos onto it,

Punz had given him a Netherite dagger with a small inscription in a language he couldn't understand, but he liked the way the dagger would reflect the light and he could see each bit of the carving on it.

Nikki and Fundy helped build small bird houses and little feeder boxes while Eret supplied bird feed,

Tommy was grateful he loved taking pictures of the birds though it was always hard to get up close but now they came by every day almost all day,

Ant helped him set up a large fish pond and even had a few turtles, though he had to fill it with only Tropical fish after Ghostbur started eyeing the Salmon weird-

Tommy enjoyed taking pictures of the coral and watching the multi colored fish swim in and out of the various odd shapes each had formed with its limbs,

Quackity brought him a scrap-book full of various funny photos of their friends though a few of them looked like they had cut a person out- and it was always the person right next to Tommy….

Oh well- 

Tommy looked around his house- it was two story with a giant patio, he had a small working kitchen though he never had a need for it,

A fireplace that he had lit almost constantly, he was very much cold-

A bookshelf filled with various journals he had kept as well as his drafts for the next installments of his 'How to Sex' series

He had a chest room filled with various materials though he had no use for them, collecting, crafting, brewing… it gave him a sense of normality,

Though everything around him was constantly shifting, recipes never changed that much, maybe slightly but it was always for the better and you could always choose weather or not to do the new method.

He had a beat down juke-box with a Mellonhi disc from Ranboo, he played the song on repeat often 

An area on his porch full of bird feeders, houses, and perches that he would often take his camera out and photograph,

One of his new favorite things was monitoring whenever a new pair would move into a bird house, watch as the eggs get laid, hatch, and the chick's grow before flying away

He was always sad when they left…  
He assumed thats how Phil felt as well-

Beneath the 'Bird Utopia' as he called it, was the flower garden that was a frequent home to various butterflies and Bees much to Tommy's joy

Oh how he loved Bees...

Next he had his bed room- it was small but cozy surrounded by the color blue, he had always preferred red, but Blue always made him feel calm and calm was something he welcomed.

He also had a pasture and a small pet room though both stayed empty, he knew he wanted a pet eventually but for the time being he decided the wild birds and insects that would visit him were enough,

He spent most of his time in his house or going to the Holy lands, occasionally going into L'manberg to visit Nikki's bakery or one of his friends Houses,

Though he never strayed much further not wanting to run the risk of running into Tubbo or Dream,

He convinced himself that was simply due to the fact he wasn't ready to face them,  
And that he had just gotten too busy to truly enjoy their reactions that it would just have to wait another day,

After a long day of exploring with Ghostbur and going sailing with Ranboo and Quackity he headed home, hanging and pinning up his latest photos in the room each with personalized notes and dates, some even with time stamps,

He looked around the room before heading upstairs into his bedroom,

the sight of blue immidently making a strange sense of calm rush over him as he climbed under the covers and let himself fall into a dreamless rest.

Though next day he was surprised to see both Phil and Techno at his door he greeted them and showed them around a bit,

Phil smiled "Tommy- We have some housewarming gifts for you"

Tommy looked over "Oh? What is it"?

Phil opened his inventory and set down a brand new Jukebox as well as three discs Cat, Mall, and Chirp

He grinned and quickly put Chirp inside the jukebox smiling as the song began playing and he stored the other two discs inside his ender chest before turning back 

"Thank you so much- How did you find them"!?

Phil chuckled "A lot of looking for dungeons and mine shafts as well as raiding the End rooms, I may have found one or two more but you'll have to wait till Christmas to get those" he said winking at Tommy

Tommy nodded before his attention was captured by Techno giving a small huff as he reached into his bag 

"It took a while to make- Ghostbur constantly says he's cold this helped, and I assumed you would be the same… or if anything it can be decor- or whatever" he spoke seeming to get embaressed 

Tommy almost started teasing him when Techno pulled out what he had been talking about, and Tommy's thoughts came to a sudden halt.

It was a beautiful blanket, he reached forward touching the fabric,it felt like a cloud, though Tommy could recognize it was wool though it was softer than that of a sheep, 

As he ran his hand along the blanket feeling each patterning as it went from various shades of blues and greys with ocassional pops of color.

It had white fur on the edges and the entire thing had an extremely intricate woven design, Tommy carefully picked it up feeling the weight of the blanket as he wrapped it around himself 

He felt warm… for the first time in what felt like forever-

Even before his death he always felt so cold too cold,

But it wasn't the blanket itself that made him feel so warm

It was the fact that he knew his brother had MADE this- worked tirelessly for hours and he knew how much of a perfectionist he was, he could only imagine the amount of effort he put into making it.

Techno stepped forward pulling the two ends of the blanket over Tommys shoulders "They connect- so you can wear it as a kind of Shawl…" he said as he clipped it together, two corners of the blanket now connected to prevent it from falling off Tommy's shoulders.

"Though I made you a much lighter one that you can wear as an actual shawl though again saving that for your Christmas gift" he spoke in a low tone 

Tommy looked between them then back down at the blanket hearing the soft lull of Chirp playing in the background, he sniffled slightly before falling into sobs-

Phil and Techno both tensed up looking at each other, though Techno looked to be much more panicked "Ah I mean- I can give it to you now, did I say something? We can leave-"

Tommy shook his head and pulled them both into a hug through it was an odd feeling since he wasn't entirely THERE.

He sniffled pulling them closer 

"Thank you-..... I thought you guys hated me"

Phil felt his heart break a bit more as he looked at his youngest son, he pulled back and offered a warm smile,

"No- of course we don't hate you Tommy…. Listen… we both made some choices, very very bad choices and neither of us considered how badly they would have impacted you

And I'm sorry it took you dying for us to realize that-"

Tommy looked over at his brother who showed a look of shame "I gave in to the voices thinking they would finally shut up… and I would be free-

I never considered what giving in would have done to the rest of you, I don’t ask for your forgiveness Tommy but I want you to know i'm truly sorry…"

Tommy pulled back a bit looking at them both

As he looked back on the memories- seeing Phil kill Wilbur he remembered Wilbur screaming at Phil,

He remembered His dad in tears,

Shaking,

And holding Wilbur close muttering apologies as Wilbur thanked him,  
And the scream, Phil- no… his Dad,  
he let out when Wilbur stopped replying-

Why hadn't he remembered those parts before?

And with Techno he remembered the horror and fear on his face as he shot Tubbo,

And when he saw him for the first time since November 16th…

The emotion he couldn't quite place in his brothers eyes he now recognized clearly

Regret

Remorse

Horror-

There wasn't pity, he didn't pity or feel disgusted at Tommy for being too weak to survive, he was horrified at what he had done leading to his brother's Demise.

Tommy looked between them and gave a soft smile hugging them both 

"Even after all you've done and even if you don't think you deserve it or accept it"

He pulled back looking at them both with a tear filled gaze.  
He would never be able to forget what they had done,  
And he would never excuse their actions nor would he justify them,  
But they were his family and he couldn't stay mad at them-

They weren't birds…  
You could always return to the rest  
Return to your family  
And Tommy wanted his back-

"I forgive you-"


	15. Christmas season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas was once a pagan tradition though over the years it has been adopted by many cultures,
> 
> Its seen as a special time where people can forget the horrors of their last and their life's in general,
> 
> There's even a true tale that takes place in World War one between Two diffeent troops who had been fighting for around 5 months a battle they were promised would have ended weeks ago still raging on,
> 
> So they reached a mutual truce between all parties they forgot their troubles and instead of seeing one another as targets to kill and defend your home from, they saw them as other people who were simply raised to fight on the other side of the war.
> 
> Turns out Truce during Christmas seems to go beyond old fashioned wars, into something as simple as a castle banquet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was HELL to get done- It was impossible for me to split it up into smaller bits and this is the longest continous chapter I've written all at once
> 
> N e v e r a g a i n-
> 
> Unless I'm writing a one shot or something,  
> If there is Grammer mistakes or errors feel free to comment and ill go in and fix them, due to how long the chapter is and how much more effort I had to put into it I put barley a third of the usual time I do into Revision work.

Tommy noticed Time passed so much slower when he wasn't overwhelmed with responsibilities,

He used to spend hours worrying over the smallest things and anxiously awaiting nightfall, ready to fall asleep and have a few hours of peace before being forced to wake up and face the next issue,

But now-  
He simply spent hours enjoying every moment of his 'life'  
Though its quite sad he only found the peace to enjoy his life after it was stripped away.

Guess Eret was right "You don’t Appreciate what you have until it slips away"

Though he tried not to let it bother him, he was having fun!

Monday-  
It had finally snowed in the SMP the entire server coated with varying layers of Snow and frost, though it was almost nothing compared to that of say where Techno lived it was snow nonetheless,

He spent the entire day playing with Ranboo in the Badlands, they build snowmen of various people on the server, had a snowball fight though it ended early after Skeppy tried putting Rocks in the snowballs,

Though he did manage to cause even more chaos by slipping a snowball into Sam's shirt causing him to run away screaming, Of course he got lectured by Bad and had to Apologize-

Tommy always found Skeppy's Antics amusing and often enjoyed his company, whenever he would spiral he wasn't that surprised to see Skeppy notice,

Tommy never paid attention much but he started to reconize that Bad would ocassionally get quiet or seem to space out, and every time without fail Skeppy would do something to garner his friends attention snapping him out of his Daze. 

Tommy guessed he related to Bad even more so then he imagined, thankfully whenever he would get in a slump Skeppy was always one of the first to notice  
and they would run off to go prank someone else.

Though he wasn't sure Skeppy thought out the fact that he pissed off the servers Redstone god-

He's probably going to regret that….

Tuesday-  
Well… Skeppy did end up regretting pranking Sam afterwards,  
Tommy watched as Skeppy walked over to his house only to step on a hidden pressure plate that dropped an unreasonable amount of snow on top of him.

They all laughed at Skeppy's expense and shock though after a few minutes they helped dig him out, going inside Ant set up a fire and Bad made Hot coco and fresh muffins for them to share.

After hanging out with them a bit and taking a group photo with a shivering Skeppy in view he left off to his next task,

With Christmas coming up more and more people were buying treats from Nikkis bakery so she needed all the help she could get, which meant all three of the ghosts who could work non stop without getting tired went to help out.

Tommy was in Charge of Decorations and he was surprisingly good at it, though he wasn't nearly as good as say Nikki or Eret he put in a decent effort and got good results.

Ghostbur was put in charge of gathering ingredients and reading off diffrent recipes making sure none of them got mixed up whilst trying to make batches of several kinds of sweets all at once.

And Schlatt was over 'pest control' as he called it, aka 'prevent the problem children from eating the sweets' though any of the reject desserts were put in a separate pile that was fair game,

The amount of times Schlatt had to Slap Quackity or Ranboos hand away from eating something was a but overzealous,

Though Tommy managed to grab an undecorated Tree Cookie and ate it just to piss him off, it earned a playful punch to his shoulder but nothing more.

After a few hours of working they managed to help Nikki catch up on almost all her orders which she seemed extremely great full for,

In the end she gave them each some extra treats that they could enjoy as a repayment for helping out so much though Tommy thought it was un- nessicary since they all would have helped out regardless 

Heck he's pretty sure most of the people on the server would commit murder if Nikki asked them to

Maybe Dream isn't the most influential person on the server after all….

Wensday-  
Tommy was then tasked with helping Eret finish Wrapping the remaining presents for Christmas,

He came over in the early morning, when he was alive you would have almost never seen him fully awake before around 10 at least unless Wilbur woke him up, 

But since dying he began to wake up earlier enjoying the calm peace the morning had to offer as well as wanting to be able to watch every single sunrise he could,

Tommy showed up to Eret in the main room of the bakery with the blinds shut having sent the others out for the day as not to worry about them spoiling the surprise,

Tommy sat down and pulled out a few discs the others had gifted him and popped one into the Jukebox the melody beginning to play as Eret set up the rest of the wrapping supplies and set out a tray of cookies that Tommy happily began eating from before getting to work,

They both quickly realized Tommy was probably not the best choice to ask to help due to getting frustrated easily and being a bit stubborn when it came to asking for help,

So in the beginning he was mainly tasked with picking out which packaging would go to what present and writing out the 'To From' labels on each,

Though by the end of it he managed to get a pretty good hang on wrapping though he still got frustrated easily when he would rip the paper or crease it,

Yet every time Eret stayed patient with him and would show him how to fix it walking him through every step,

Fundy was right Eret was a good dad-

He reminded him of Phil a lot and as far as Dads went Phil set fairly high standards,

He always looked proud of Tommy after every present he wrapped successfully he'd feel a small bit of pride swell up in his chest only making him more determined to do even better on the next present,

"Hey Eret"?  
Eret didn't look up as he finished taping one of the ends on a gift for Nikki "Hmm whats up Tommy"?

Tommy finished his gift and set it to the side before looking up "I didn't realize Christmas was so soon Times a little bit fucked when your dead n shit- I was wondering if you'd go into the market and help me pick out gifts for everyone,

Since I don't really remember people much but I was still good friends with a lot of them I'd rather they get gifts they can appreciate from me-"

Eret paused and looked up "Of course!, now would you prefer we go today or do you want to go tomorrow"?

Tommy paused thinking "Let's finish wrapping and go that way I have all of tomorrow in case I don’t find anything "

Eret nodded seeming satisfied with that awnser"Why not go with Phil or Techno"?

Tommy shrugged "Still a lot of mixed feelings with them… and between Blowing up a country, Trying to murder me and all my friends in order to overthrow a government, and Killing my brother the whole betrayal thing dosent seem as bad

And also you know, Ghostbur not remembering shit, Techno not knowing people, and Phil mostly staying to himself you're the one person that's on good terms with just about everyone"

Eret sighed nodding "I understand that- I honestly wish I would have never done that… I sometimes wonder what else would have changed if I had never agreed with Dream… maybe then this wouldn't have happened-"

Tommy looked up at Eret he paused when he noticed a soft glow seeming to surround him though it was faint 

It was blue-

Tommy was confused for a moment but decided he could figure that out Later-  
"Not really no-"

Eret looked up at Tommy for the first time and gave a confused look "Pardon"?

Tommy met his gaze and shrugged "Your being a dumbass….

Even if you hadn't fucking agreed maybe he would get to someone else, or manage to trick us into thinking he was telling the truth,

Or possibly much worse who fucking knows…

But One thing my dad told me was 'You can't go back and Rewrite the past, but you always have the opportunity to write your future' 

Now it sounds like a cheesy lame ass quote from an old Creepy Fisherman that teaches the protagonist about acceptance and love or some shit but it makes sense,

You can't change what you did and it doesn't excuse that shit either, but you feel bad for it if you keep acting all sad and shit nothings gonna change"

He unwrapped one of the bows and stuck it on Erets Forehead "This is your chance to make it up to everyone, You've already proven yourself to many people, Nows your chance to not fuck it up again"

Tommy sat back and continued wrapping in silence whilst Eret was starting at him in shock 

Eret reached up and touched the bow gently taking it off his forehead and setting it to the side "Yeah… I guess you're right- thanks Tommy, I guess that's all I needed to hear"

Tommy nodded before pointing a pair of Scissors at him "Repeat that shit and I will never forgive you bitch boy-"

Eret chuckled and nodded "Alright Tommy I promise now put the scissors down, you may be dead but I still don't trust you with them"

This earned a middle finger from Tommy causing Eret to chuckle as he reached over to the jukebox and switched out the discs and they fell into a comfortable silence once more,

The soft tune of CAT playing in the background as they finished wrapping the rest of the gifts

Once they had finished both put on coats before heading to a nearby village market to get gifts,

Eret had created a list of Everyone in the SMP and Tommy would try and find gifts for each of them before crossing them off,

It got to the members of the Dream team and Tubbo which Eret paused "You don't have to get them anything you know…"

Tommy nodded "I'll …. I'll just label Tubbos and Dreams- But I do need to speak to the rest sooner rather than later…"

Eret nodded as Tommy picked out a few more items making sure to get something for everyone, even if he didn't like them due to his memories of them, or he didn't remember them,

When returning to the house he wrapped Eret and Ranboo's gifts first as Ranboo messaged he would be joining them shortly,

And just as he said about 10 minutes after the half enderman walked in, took a seat, and began helping out,

He held up one gift "Whos is this for"?  
Tommy looked up "Oh Sapnap-"  
Ranboo paused "Didn't he do a l o t to you- I thought you hated him even with the good memories intact"

Tommy shrugged "I thought so too- But I don't really think I hate anyone anymore… everyones so wrapped up in there own personal desires sometimes things get clouded, that's what happened with me and my discs,  
Wilbur and his presidency,  
Techno and taking down the government,  
Heck even Eret wanting to be a fancy king

Simple things we fixated on that clouded our judgment and decisions"

Ranboo laughed "Now your sounding all Phylisophical or whatever it's called" (I cant spell it for the life of me and this chapter has drained me too much to care)

Tommy chuckled "Guess I am- But point is, I dunno Sapnaps reason for doing all of that but no ones evil for no reason, they just have a different set of goals and morals doesn't mean there's matter any less than mine

And im already dead and I can't get Deader…. Is that a word"?

He trailed off before speaking again  
"My point is-  
what's the point of continuing to hold old grudges,.... Fuck being dead makes me sound like Phil or an old wise fisherman, pass me another cookie"

Ranboo gave Eret an odd look "Fisherman"?  
Eret just chuckled "Don't ask-" he awnsered as he set the plate between the two boys both of them happily digging in as they continued wrapping

Tommy spoke though it sounded much softer then normal  
"Hey um Ranboo? Would I see Dream or Tubbo at the Party? I'm not quite ready to face them-"

He spoke again but louder as if he was trying to justify his reasoning  
" I mean you know the whole watching their guilt eat away at them and sweet revenge yatta yatta- but it's Christmas time ya know? And no matter how much they screwed me over… Im at least gonna give them that"

Ranboo nodded and flashed him a smile "Yeah they are- but you can always avoid them we could act like we're in a spy movie or something huh?

And if you want I can accompany you when you go to see the other ex members of the 'Dream Team' that way it'll be less stressful and if you wanna back out I can just give your gifts and leave"

Tommy smiled "Thanks Big R!- Nope nevermind it doesn't sound right… I'll give you a nickname sooner or later but that just sounded fucking horrid Jesus christ"

This excited a bit of laughter out of the other two and Ranboo just nodded "Okay whatever you say Tommy-"

Thursday- Christmas Eve  
The Christmas tree was fully decorated and people began passing out presents to one another, Niki and Dad even helped make a feast for everyone giving out small containers to those who wouldn't come to the main celebration,

Tommy helped set up and package the different meals and soon after dinner he took the meals meant for George Sapnap Callahan and Karl as well as their gifts and headed out with Ranboo and Quackity,

Quackity approached the house holding the food while Ranboo held the gifts and Tommy stayed invisible his eyes locked on the door 

Ranboo looked up at him "You don't have to do this you know…"

Tommy sighed taking a deep breath "No… No I want to do this- Everyones gonna know eventually and I'd rather them not find out through however Tubbo or Dream react"

Quackity gave a reassuring smile before knocking on the door "OI SNAPMAP OPEN THE DOOR I HAVE CHRISTMAS DINNER"!

There was a bit of silence than a loud reply "Thats not my fucking name you ducky bastard Callahan can you get the door"!

A small pause then the handle slowly turned and Callahan popped his head out signing  
-Hello come-

Quackity signed back -Thank you- before heading inside with Ranboo and Tommy on his trail 

Callahan lead them to the kitchen as Quackity placed down the meals and they were greeted by Karl waving "Hey! Ohmygosh you made it, I made some pie Sapnap burnt the first one BUT we have plenty of others" he said hugging Quackity

Ranboo nodded "Oh um where do I put these- also we have an announcement so where are the others"?

Karl nodded "OH right, Trees in the living room and so are George and Sapnap we can head in there for whatever news then eat dinner together hmm?

Tommy followed Karl with Ranboo standing next to him, Quackity and Callahan signing to one another behind them

In the living room George was curled up in a red fuzzy blanket with the remote flipping through different Christmas movies,

While Sapnap was sitting on the edge of the couch holding a giant panda plushie against his chest while arguing with George over what movie to watch

"We should do the Grinch, Karls never seen it"  
"We can watch that next I wanna see A Christmas story"  
"Ughhh ill pass- How about Elf"  
"That guy is a nitwit even if it is funny we watched it like yesterday"

Ranboo placed the gifts under the tree as everyone else took a seat on the couch  
Quackity smiled "Hey we have a suprise-"

He was cut off by George "Dude we are NOT watching the life action Grinch either that guy gives me the creeps and it's just uncomfortable"

Sapnap sat up glaring at George "Okay I get that but you're being unreasonable. How about Rudolph"?

"The elf that wants to be a dentist what kind of plot line even IS that again PASS"

"HEY its a good movie"!

Tommy covered his ears he wanted it to stop-  
Them yelling brought back so many memories to the front

"Yeah according you- you Snap nap"!

Smoke and fire-  
Ash everywhere he couldn't breath

"That's not my name and you know it"!

Everything hurt he wanted it to STOP  
Please  
Please stop yelling  
Stop fighting

Ranboos voice cut in "Guys you really need to stop yelling-" he tried saying calmly as he noticed Tommy started hyperventilating but it was no use and their yelling only grew louder 

"Oh really? According to you I'm an idiot guess I didn't know any better huh? Whoops that's a fault on my part-"

"Oh FUCK you its Christmas Eve quit being a dramatic little shit its a movie"!

PLEASE  
S T O P 

Tommy clamped his hands over his ears tears streaming down his cheeks as the static in surrounding him grew-  
It was so loud he couldn't even think

And before he knew it he just let it out-  
He screamed…

Ranboo tried quieting them down to no avail when he noticed Tommy flickering in and out of sight Callahan looked stunned seeming to have noticed, even more stunned the usually strong willed boy was not only a ghost in his house but was crying heavily,

Though everyone's train of thought ended when a scream echoed through the house,  
"PLEASE SHUT UP ALREADY"!

Sapnap and George both snapped their heads to look at the Blonde boy who was now shaking his hands clasped over his ears and Ranboo took to his side rubbing small circles on his back

"Hey hey Tommy its okay- its over see? Everyone's okay"

"I- I cant breath- the smoke it- static- its so loud- make it stop" he managed to choke out through sobs 

Sapnap looked at the boy-  
He was so pale, he was almost sickly looking…. He was grey-

Tommy was dead...

He had on his Red Cuffed Shirt and some Jean's as well as Red converse, as well as a familiar Green cloth around his neck though it was now tattered and torn,

Smoke?  
The fires….  
He had given this kid fucking flashbacks..  
All over a stupid fight about Christmas movies

He should have felt angry about the enemy being in his house,

He probably would have been angry had it not been him realizing he was just another one of Dreams puppets,

And that this Child was never his enemy….  
He was Dreams  
And he was just the dumb Servant that blindly followed its master...

Sapnap stood up and walked over to Tommy crouching down in front of him as he spoke up his voice unusually steady and calm "Hey… Hey Tommy I want you to look at me can you do that"?

Tommy looked up at Sapnap nodding softly though it was still a somewhat Jerky motion

Sapnap smiled "Good good, now try and match my breathing okay? The revolution is over… so is November… it's Christmas eve your at Callahan's house you brought some Dinner and Ranboo brought gifts"

Ranboo spoke "Actually- The gifts I got you guys are at the Tree…. These are from Tommy-"

Sapnap felt his heart break a bit more as he looked up at Tommy "Shit kid… I know my words probably don't mean much but I want you to know I apologize for everything I've done-

I was stupid to have blindly followed Dream and never thought to question the fact he was raging war against a bunch of kids- Im not worth your forgiveness but just know I realize I'm an ass and I'm truly sorry"

George spoke "I'm not good with words- especially when compared to Sapnap or…." He trailed off slightly before clearing his throat "Anyway- I want you to know im sorry as well, were no longer with Dream I'm sorry it took us this long to see how much he had changed and that we helped him hurt you in the process"

Tommy looked up and sniffled "When- When I was adopted by Phil we would always open our gifts on Christmas Eve and open the 'Santa presents' the next day- can… can you guys open them"?

Sapnap looked up at the others and they gave a soft nod, Sapnap stood up sitting back on the couch as Tommy drifted to where Ranboo had the gifts and passed them out one by one even giving Ranboo and Quackity theirs,

They each opened and found extremely personal gifts inside  
"I… I may not remember you all but I still have those memories and each of these just felt- right.. you know"?

Georges was first,  
It was a cape similar to Technos except shorter and a soft blue color,  
It had extra white fluff tattered to the bottom as well as a hood, and a golden clasp to tie it around his neck

George sat in shock unmoving until Tommy picked up the cape and showed him step by step how to put it on as well as each detail  
"See it even has pockets, I got one in Blue since I remembered you were Colorblind and it's one of the colors you can see"

Karl went second and pulled out a little yellow Duck plushie with a name tag on it -Honk-  
"You can change the name if you want but I felt Honk suited the guy it felt- familiar ya know"? He smiled and Karl nodded  
"No no- its perfect"

Next was Callahan who pulled out a communicator similar to his own he gave a confused look,  
Tommy smiled "It has different sound effects you can play when you need to get someone's attention but couldn't normally,  
Like a car alarm, beeping, whatever, You can send messages to specific peoples Communication devices so even if their muted it will still vibrate,

Eret said you were mute and when Techno would get overwhelmed when we were kids he'd go nonverbal, I remembered how frustrated he got that he would have to hit something or stomp to get our attention or wave around like a maniac, so I thought you'd appreciate it"!

Callahan looked down at the device and clicked a button making Georges give off a small Vibration pattern and series of beeps,  
George picked up his Com turning it off A  
And Callahan looked back at him practically beaming,

Finally was Sapnap, he hesitated before slowly undoing the box and inside he was shocked to find a Clown fish Plushie "Mars"?

Tommy nodded "Yup I remember him! Don't remember what happened to him though… I can't go find the real Mars but I thought a Plushie would be good- and look I even gave him a white bandanna so he matches"!

Sapnap chuckled as he looked at the fish and smiled up at Tommy "Thanks Tommy…"

Tommy floated up "I'm glad you like them! Now I should head home I'm gonna spend Christmas morning with my brothers and Dad ya know"?

They nodded and Tommy spoke again "Also can we um- keep this between us? Dream and Tubbo still don't know im dead… or that im in L'manberg and I'm not exactly ready for them to know just yet"

They all quickly nodded seeming to agree instantly as Tommy floated up "Alright I'll see you all again soon- C'mon Ranboo"!

Ranboo stood up gathering his stuff and heading out with his Final goodbyes, whilst Quackity was going to spend X-mas here,

Tommy went out the door and before leaving he paused and looked back "Also… I've already forgiven you-" he said softly before turning back to his normal gremlin expression 

"But try and cross me again and I will make you PAY with my ghostly WRATH"!! He chuckled before flying off after Ranboo and back home

Once back at the house Phil asked him how the whole interaction went and he explained it a bit,

Techno spoke up now in his Pjs wearing his glasses and his hair tied up in a messy bun "Wait- Then who is Dream with"?

Ranboo shrugged "After the whole King disagreement he lost Callahan, George, and Sapnap

Sam and Punz are still close to him though and Purpled being his brother and all I imagine if he called on them they'd help out"

Schlatt spoke "I'm not so sure… if they were such 'loyal soilders wouldn't they have reacted worse to Tommy's return everyone but Dream and Tubbo know he's here by now and the others haven't said shit"

Ghostbur chuckled "W e l l- we can worry about that Tomorrow for now Dad made his Hot Chocolate recipe and I wanna curl up and Watch Home alone"!

Techno immidently perked up going into the kitchen and helping Phil carry in the mugs of Hot coco setting them onto the table as Tommy turned on Home alone 1

Tommy sat back curling up in the covers grabbing one of the mugs and sipping it,  
It felt warm..

After a but of the movie to the part where he got Tic-Tacs from Santa and to his third cup of hot coco Tommy butt in 

"Remember when we used to set up traps for Santa as kids and the one year we accidently caught Dad in the net and almost broke his wing"?

Ghostbur chuckled "Oh YES- Techno was crying and Dad had to console us more so, that's when he had to tell us Santa wasn't real"

Phil chuckled "Oh gosh you boys were HYSTERICAL, you thought I was dying and that Santa was gonna skip our house because you almost killed me on Christmas eve, Techno was the worst though"

Techno paused and looked over  
"Don't remind me- Wilbur and Tommy teased me for MONTHS and I remember being so scared to not hurt you again though that is when you started teaching me to spar"

Ghostbur smirked "Still doesn't change the fact you cried for HOURS, such a crybaby as a kid"

Tommy leaned back watching Techno and Wilbur bicker over who reacted worse while he watched the movie downing the final sips of his drink he felt himself start to slip away,

He felt Phil lay another blanket on top of him and kiss his forehead "Go to sleep-" he said almost in a whisper, and Tommy did just that.

Friday- Christmas day  
Tommy woke up the next morning to the smell of Gingerbread and French Vanilla Coffee creamer that Wilbur used to put way too much of into his drinks,

He sat up and looked into the kitchen to see his family each with a cup of Coffee

Techno drinking his Coffee black with a bit of milk,

Phils having a bit of Hazlenut and some creamer,

Whilst Wilburs is an ungodly concoction that could give anyone Diabetes just from looking at it, he didn't even know if it could be classified as Coffee at that point,

He had to refrain from gagging as Wilbur took a huge swig, he shook his head softly before looking at the tree 

Phil went over and sorted everyone's gifts handing them out to each person

"Alright once were done here were gonna head to Erets castle to see the others, also Tommy your Free to go wherever since Tubbo is probably going to be there and It's up to you weather or not you wanna see him yet-"

Tommy nodded sitting on the couch as three gifts were set in front of every person "Yup ill just visit maybe the bad lands or my house I dunno yet- maybe I'll stop by invisible or some shit-"

Phil nodded "Alright you guys know the order lets go"

Tommy went first picking up his gift from Phil and opening it up, inside was 'Pigstep and Mall' he thanked his dad immidently going over to his ender chest and placing the discs inside before sitting back down  
"Thanks dad- Alright Technos turn"!

Techno opened his gift from Wilbur and smiled to find a golden Ring with Red gems decorating it

Ghostbur smiled "Its for your tusk, since your old one broke with the Withers and all"

Techno smiled and slipped it over one of his tusks smiling "Oh well thank you Ghostbur-"

Next went Ghostbur who opened his Present from Tommy and Found inside was a series of different books which Ghostbur held close to his chest "Ooooh Tommyyy- what are they"?

Tommy smiled "Um Since your memory is Wonky its the history of Minecraft with different events n all- as well as every crafting recipe you can think of and a Alchemy book as well"

Ghostbur smiled and rushed forward hugging his brother before setting the books to the side fighting the urge to read through all of them,

Next up was Phil who opened his gift from Techno first and pulled out a beautifully made pair of Earrings, Golden wire that wrapped around two of his shed feathers in a beautiful pattern he smiled and took out his old studs and put them in "There lovely Techno- now everyone open the rest of your gifts"

Tommy's remaining gifts was a Soft Red hoodie from Wilbur and a Netherite axe from Techno,

Techno got a fancy new comb for his hair from his dad and a Mobile Sell out bell from Tommy with -Subscribe to Technoblade- carved onto the wooden handle,

Wilbur got a Fishing rod that was enchanted so it was easier to hold even with being Dead so he could fish with Fundy easier, and a Blue dyed Beanie from Techno,

Finally Phil got a jar full of various hair ties from Tommy saying "Since your hairs grown once the winter thaws out I thought you'd wanna be able to put it up since the only other ties you have are Shitty I got you a whole jar full", and a wool knit blue sweater from Ghostbur

"Friends wool was getting too long so I trimmed them and sent the wool to be made into a sweater, it smells like Saltwater and like the blueberries that used to grow outside the cabin"

Techno chuckled "Oh gosh- I remember first moving in with Dad, I ate so many of those I was sick for DAYS- and of course each of us made the exact same mistake no matter how many times he warned us"

Tommy sighed smiling "Honestly- at that point I did it out of spite, I mean ALL of you telling me ominously 'don't eat the berries or you'll regret it' You even SAID I had a defiance disorder and told me to my face of course I'm not gonna listen to that shit"

Phil sighed sipping his coffee as he slipped the sweater on "It's probably a right of passage at this point- some fathers have there kids ride a bike, maybe they go fishing, heck maybe a family curse but NOPE-

I got my boys ate so many wild blueberries they got sick for almost a week each time, each of em did it once and only once years apart"

Ghostbur smiled as he put on his new Blue beanie "Maybe I should bring Fundy a basket filled with Wild blueberries, tell him not to eat more than a handful a day, maybe he'll break the streak"

Soon enough everyone either put on or put away their gifts before heading to Erets castle,

Tommy froze right outside as his family went in,

He couldn't do this-  
But it was Christmas  
But what if he saw Tubbo  
He wasn't ready  
But its Christmas he wanted to see their reactions  
He's scared  
He wants to go  
He HAS to go-  
Leave  
L e a v e  
L E A V E

His spiral was cut off by a hand on his shoulder he panicked until he heard a familiar calming tone…. Eret-

"You alright Tommy"?  
Tommy shook his head "Um can you ask everyone to open their gifts from me first… I didn't put names just stars on the tag- I don’t wanna stay long but I want to see their reactions…

And any gifts they got me can just go to the treehouse-" 

"Are you okay with them knowing they're from you"?

Tommy paused but nodded "Yeah just say cuz of my exile I couldn't come celebrate with them, and any gifts they have if they have them go to Phil"

Eret nodded "Go ahead and turn invisible I've got this-" Tommy did as he was told and followed Eret inside

Practically everyone was in there honestly though he refused to scan the crowd not knowing how he would react if he saw Dream or Tubbo-

Eret held up a champagne glass he got from Who knows where and Clinked a butter knife, again from SOMEWHERE, against the glass  
"Attention announcement quiet down please"!

The room quieted down and Eret spoke "Alright- we will start the evening with opening the gifts with the Star tags, they are from Tommy, though due to his current Exile he sadly cannot be joining us tonight if any of you have anything you wish to give to him please pass those gifts along to Phil now open up and after those you are free to open however you'd like and the feast will begin"!

Everyone seemed to get the hint on what Eret was truly saying and quickly went over to the pile of gifts passing out the star tag ones to their respective names,

Tubbo paused as he received a gift god he missed Tommy… but he couldn't see him- the more he put it off the worse and worse he felt, how could he possibly own up to the fact he hadn't seen his friend in almost a month? 

He had sent letters but they got no response so he assumed Tommy didn't want to talk to him-

Yet everyone else acted like everything was fine and dandy one by one they stopped acting worried about Tommy, heck even Fundy and Quackity who screamed at him for HOURS after he exiled him suddenly acting like everything's fine and dandy,

Tubbo received his gift and opened it up and felt his heart drop-  
It was a golden Bracelet with several charms attached  
A bee  
A Disc  
A boat  
A potion stand  
The L'manberg flag  
A firework  
The president's badge

It was their story… their life's since joining the server-

He turned the bracelet when he noticed one more Charm an odd bird of sorts  
"Um Ghostbur what's this"?  
He asked holding up the charm

Ghostbur smiled "OH that's a Turtle dove- its symbolism is amazing though very touching-OH you should open my gift for you next," he said as he dug into his bag

Tubbo held the charm moving it and watching as the light reflected off it "What does it symbolize"?

Ghostbur murmured before pulling out a small box "Aha got it- Oh Turtle doves symbolize eternal bonds and unfathomable love and friendship now open up"! He said shoving the Box into Tubbos hands

Tubbo chuckled and began slowly unwrapping it it was a medium sized black box and when he pulled of the lid the first thing he saw was silver,

It shine brightly and was cold to the touch, he pulled it out and looked up at Ghostbur "A compass"?

Ghostbur nodded "Not just any Compass- I enchanted it myself so it will always point to your other half, Turtle doves come in pairs ya know, OH Phil's calling me Merry Christmas Tubbo-"! He said before rushing off to go chat with Phil and Fundy 

Tubbo gave him an odd look before opening the compass noticing the Engraving,  
A turtle dove and the label  
-YOUR TOMMY-  
Were carved into the metal.

He tapped the glass of the compass as the arrow came to life and began pointing in different directions, though it seemed to move frequently changing direction

It was sweet though he didn't know what he expected having the thing enchanted by an Amnesiac ghost, though he adored it nonetheless and quickly put it in his off hand and clipped the charm bracelet on his wrist before joining Ranboo and Quackity to drink Eggnog,

Dream stayed outside simply observing the party from one of the Castle Balconies soon enough he heard a knock and whipped around his Axe pointed at whoever stood there but lowered when he saw Purpled,

"Oh its just you-"  
Purpleds expression soured "YUP just the only person besides Punz and Sam you haven't managed to chase away, and that's probably because I never see you even if we're brothers guess family doesn't matter either huh"?

Dream looked at him his eyes narrowing "Watch it- you know what I'm trying to do here"

Purpled glared at him as he stood at the railing "Or what? You'll take away one of my life's? Honestly I don't give a damm though just know you do that im gone forever and you'll never get me back, 

I'm not like these idiots I won't give you the chance to turn me into a babbling fool who can barely remember where he is half the time" he said gesturing to Ghostbur "Or maybe I should- maybe then you'd spend more time with your family"

He huffed as he looked out at the party "And yeah yeah you've told me about your 'grand plans' a billion times- but is that really worth loosing everything else and everyone who's ever given a damm about you huh? Is it clay? Or am I no longer allowed to call you that"

Dream sighed and sat down and Purpled relaxed running his hand through his hair  
"Would you take off the mask at least…. Please"?  
Purpled said as he sat next to his brother

Dream looked up and sighed undoing his mask and setting it to the side earning a smile from his brother, geeze when was the last time this kid had smiled around him  
"Im sorry- ill try and do better"

Purpled held his hand up "I know your sorry- but don't make promises you don't intend on keeping now take your shitty gifts and I brought you dinner"

He said handing him the plate, a cup of Eggnog, and two gifts

Dream sipped the drink but looked at him confused "Two? Don't tell me you got my two things now I feel even more guilty"

Purpled shook his head "Nah I didnt- now shut up and open the purple one" 

Dream held up the present that had purple wrapping paper, purple ribbon, and a purple bow  
"I mean I know I get a bit eccentric around green but this is ridiculous"

Purpled snickered as he ate a gingerbread cookie "Eh I knew it would piss you off, and I was too lazy to put 'to from' so I just give it to the person and if that's not a giveaway the color is"

Dream nodded as he cut the ribbon and carefully undid the wrapping he opened up to see a pair of black fingerless gloves with Green accents he gave Purpled an odd Look before his brother began unceasing them and slipping them onto his hands

"Your hands are covered in blisters and you and I both know without George or Bad yelling at you your not gonna take care of them properly, so gloves will minimize how many you get

But I know you won't stop fighting so I made sure their fighter friendly and they look dope as fuck so thats a plus I guess"

Dream slipped on the gloves and moved his hands slightly grabbing his Axe and doing some practice attacks in the air and smiling "Huh- thanks…"

He sat back down and handed Purpled a smaller box with Green wrapping paper, green ribbon, and a Green bow,

Purpled gave him a look and scoffed "Fucking Hypocrite-" he said before tearing open the wrapping and pulling out a leather scabbard (medical leather strapping to hold Weapons and other items)

Dream shot him a smile "You can use it in bed wars to hold supplies- it has a small pouch on the side you can hold pearls potions etc for easy accessibility"

Purpled lit up and hugged Dream before pulling back and stealing another cookie "Doesn't mean I forgive you, but thanks NOW I'm gonna go hang out and eat cookies until I get a sugar crash or Punz drags me home whichever happens first " he gave a soft wave before ender pearling back into the party

Dream shook his head smiling as he finished the meal tossing out the trash and slipping his mask back on,

Though he paused when he noticed the second gift- huh he almost forgot about it honestly…

He reached down and carefully unwrapped it tossing the paper away and opening up the box and pulling out a green hoodie almost identical to his own but looking brand new and a note,

He took of his hoodie that was almost falling apart at the seams and slipped on the new one, it smelt like wool, fresh snow, and wild berries, almost reminded him of his home,

He reached down picking up the letter and reading it carefully 

-Hey big D, It was hell trying to find the same fabric yours is made of but I did so here you go, Your normal hoodie has been through a lot so if that one ever gives, or you want to have a clean one here you go

From, Problem child-

Dream froze re reading the letter again and again,  
Tommy…  
Tommy got this for him-

Phil probably brought it in but…  
WHY would he get Dream something for Christmas?  
Heck he was pretty sure George and Sapnap didn't, or at least they destroyed whatever they were going to give him,

He would understand him getting a gift for Tubbl they had been best friends for years before this,

But HE had been the villain  
He waged war  
He turned Eret against them  
He blew up everything they had  
He killed most of them, sometimes more than once  
He helped in Wilbur's spiral and let Techno and him carry out November first, even if he was justifiably horrified when he realized what had happened to Wilbur and what Phil was force to do…. He didn't leave his house for weeks and cried often feeling sick almost every time he saw that happy to lucky shell that used to be the leader of L'manberg

Dream sighed and pulled out his trident giving a last glance to the party where he saw Sapnap and Skeppy having a drink off with George looking disappointed and Bad fretting over them, 

Probably yelling at them to stop being stupid….. Dream would have joined in or been off to the side laughing enough to be called a kettle,

Maybe Purpled was right…

No-  
He was too far in now  
Tommy was still exiled  
He still had Punz and Sam  
He could handle this-  
He had no other choice…

He tore his gaze away before using his Trident to soar away from the lively event,

Tommy only stayed long enough to watch everyone open their gifts from him before heading back home,

He had been given some gifts at the party all of which were either music related, some Photography stuff from bad, some bird stuff, or just stuff for his house in general,

He would probably go thank them in person tomorrow but for now he needed to be home and away from the chaos,

But once he arrived he noticed a lone box on his counter top and opened it up to find a note

-An extra gift from your loving brother, (its me Ghostbur) I wanted to save this one but I didn't wanna give you away at the party so open up, Tubbo has an identical one that I enchanted he probably thinks its broken though the whole being dead thing but yours should be fairly accurate-

Tommy felt confused before moving the note he saw a familiar silver shine, he pulled out a compass…

He looked at the needle pointing towards Erets castle, so Tubbo was there…

When he examined it closer he found the engraving  
A turtle dove  
And the lettering  
-YOUR TUBBO-

He smiled and went to find some string, he took the chain off the Compass and attached it to the string before making it into a makeshift necklace and putting it around his neck,

He was surprised that it didn't phase through at all, probably because it was one of his new favorite clothing items perhaps,

He laid down on his bed holding the compass in his hands and looking at the arrow he sighed holding it close before curling up

"I miss you Tubbo- I hope you miss me too…"

He said in a whisper, words between only him and the compass… an extension of Tubbo and probably the closest thing he had of his friend for a long time,

But it was late  
He had missed the sunset but that was okay,  
He was happy,  
And he needed his rest


	16. A New Perspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> One of the most unknown and most questioned things in life is what occurs after death?  
> People come up with stories or have strong beliefs that tell the intricacies of afterlife and yet no one can say for 100% certain.
> 
> For Tommy life simply continues after death and seems to only go up, hes rebuilding relationships with those he had grown distant from,
> 
> His family bonds growing stronger,  
> He has a home to himself,  
> He's actually doing fairly well for having died.
> 
> But what of those who have yet to know what happened to him?  
> What about the ones left oblivious of the boys fate?  
> How does this secret spiral out of their grasp and begin to turn the path of fate towards the worst.

Not much had changed since Christmas came and left and with it so did New years and the last snowfall as far as they could tell,

Though it wouldn't be a surprise if another front or two hit L'manberg and the surrounding areas before spring came,

Some people seemed to miss the snow after it melted but Tommy saw snow all the time, almost every other day when he would go to visit his father and middle brother.

He busied himself when he wasn't visiting his family he would hang out with Ghostbur in his Library and help him collect books,  
Maybe go fishing with him and Fundy,  
Or join Quackity on whatever crazy adventures he took a part in.

He spent a lot of his time with Nikki, Ranboo, and Eret,  
He helped Eret in Designing and making clothes for everyone throughout the SMP,  
He practiced with Nikki and actually got fairly good at Decorating,  
He even helped Ranboo plant a few more patches of flowers throughout L'manberg,

Sometimes he would go to the Bad-lands,  
Do Photography or bake muffins with Bad,  
Maybe prank some people with Skeppy and Schlatt,  
He learned how to use his new dagger with Punz and Ant taught him Park-core with Ponk joining in on sparring,  
Sam even offered to teach him some Redstone mechanics

He even began hanging out with Callahan learning a bit of ASL and Karl, though he still had mixed feelings towards Sapnap and George so mostly kept his distance though when they did talk it wasn’t awful,

When he wasn't hanging out with the various members of the SMP he would be hanging out at his house tending too his bees and garden, printing out more Photos and filling up various scrapbooks of memories,

His life, or well afterlife, finally came to a standstill point where he was content with where he was,

The same couldn't be said for a certain Brunette boy…

While Tommy's world had Just begun to make more sense, Tubbos only brought light to more and more questions he didn't have the awnsers to.

Like why Nikkis desserts suddenly came in two distinctly decorated styles which she brushed off as 'experimenting'

Or why Philza started adding Cobblestone into being one of the main blocks he used in decor,

Bad suddenly having pictures and scrapbooks filled with photos that he was either in or casually mentioned he didn't take but wouldn't say who did,

Random things that were slowly driving him crazy- it was useless little facts or things that didn't add up that he would usually ignore yet there was seemingly more and more unexplainable things that no one bothered awnsering for him.

But all of these were just trivial compared to the one thing that REALLY got under his skin.

Why the hell was everyone acting as if Tommy didn't exist?

Was it suddenly no longer conventional for them to use him as an example to question his decisions? Is that it?

No no… that would be plausible for some but say Phil who seemed to never let Tubbo forget his nessicary sacrifice with Tommy, now having not said his son's name in WEEKS as far as Tubbo could tell.

Quackity and Fundy no longer sent him dirty looks or seemed to grow distant whenever Tubbo tried to defend his decision.

Heck even Ranboo who was the only person who ever attempted to visit the boy seemed to act like he never existed in the first place.

Something was very very wrong  
And he needed to figure out what-

He knew he couldn't just ask around that would only bring rise to more and more questions  
He ran through the names he knew, he even considered consequences of asking Techno but that awnser came to him in the middle of a meeting with Dream.

Dream was sitting on the window ledge looking out at the town while Tubbo was reading out diffrent reports, trade agreements, etc

Suddenly he paused in the middle of one of the documents and looked up at Dream "Hey Dream"?  
The masked man gave a small nod to show he was listening before Tubbo continued  
"Have you noticed everyone acting- off…"

Dream paused and shifted his position swinging his legs back over the side of the window and hopping down "What do you mean"?

Tubbo sighed running his hand through his hair and feeling over his horns slightly…. They really had grown in a lot since…… he froze realizing he had gone silent and spoke quickly shaking his head and moving his hand away from his horns"Maybe I'm just being paranoid nevermind-" 

Dream shook his head and walked over sitting down "No no tell me- the fact you brought it up means its bothering you, and If anything it will give you peace of mind to know if your being paranoid or not right"?

Tubbo paused clicking his pen a few times and mulling over his options before setting it down and letting out a long sigh "Alright yeah-" he leaned back in his chair looking up at Dream

"It seems like everyone just forgot about Tommy- and I'm not saying that as the sour best friend, sure I miss him but it was a nessicary sacrifice like you said but-"

Dream nodded sitting in the chair next to Tubbo "But"?

Tubbo looked over "Its like everyones just gotten over the fact hes no longer around, heck Ghostbur even came back and hasn't spoken about Tommy in WEEKS, I may just be paranoid and it's just people accepting what happened happened but its just not adding up and I cant peice it together"

Dream froze as he listened to Tubbo- now that he thought about it… the kid was right…  
Quackity and Fundy who used to constantly give him dirty looks over what happened just… stopped-  
In fact he hadn't heard someone even say Tommy's name since the run in with Ranboo almost a month ago

Tubbo sighed "Again im just being paranoid-"

Dream shook his head holding his hand out "No no- I think you're right… I don’t know how I didn't notice it much sooner, well what do you THINK is going on"?

Tubbo shrugged "Im not sure… But I think we need to pay Tommy a visit- something is happening from under my nose and I don’t like it "

Dream nodded and thought of how similar Tubbo sounded to Schlatt in that moment- maybe Wilbur was right with the whole 'president's curse' but that wasn't his problem, Tubbo took on the role and he hadn't fucked up so far why should he intervene?

"Alright then- but for now let's finish up the paperwork have some dinner and plan the trip in the morning, I'll need to fetch my map in order to track down where I left Tommy though he may have relocated

We can take the trip in about 3 days or so, so make sure you've cleared your schedule okay"?

Tubbo gave a nod as Dream moved his chair closer and they went through the final documents,

Dream watched as Tubbo began nodding off his speech slurring slightly and he paused reaching up and ruffling his hair "Hey let's put this off okay- you need to be rested for the journey ill just approve this all and unless something comes up we can move on okay"?

Tubbo looked up at him yawning and gave a jerky nod as he stood up and began the walk back to his house while Dream stayed at the table letting out a long sigh, 

He inclined his mask setting it ti the side and propped his elbows on the desk taking a deep breath.

Hes starting to loose it-  
No no he can handle this  
But He's already lost most of his Allies  
But he still has Punz Sam and his brother, he can handle this  
Heck the person who's supposed to be under his thumb had to point out to him the citizens of his server were acting off-

Then again he had been so caught up in planning, building, and making sure to keep everyone busy and unbothered he no longer had as much time to survey them…

And now Tommy was an issue again- he hadn't caused any trouble no but the fact Tubbo was worried about him could be, thankfully Tubbo still sees His Exile as 'Nessicary and Inevitable' to be fair he didn’t WANT to exile the teen but he was a loose Canon.

It was best that he was in a position that Dream could make sure he wouldn't inspire a Coup within the SMP, hes done it once and even with Tubbo being his best friend they had drifted.

And Coups can go to ANYONE in power not just a president putting Dreams position at risk, Maybe the fact Tubbo brought up checking in on Tommy would be more of a positive than he thought yes… this could work- he could fix this-

He had three days to prepare…  
So might as well spend that time strengthening the bonds with the allies he still has.

He sent a quick message to Purpled  
[Dream whispered to Purpled: Hey, im gonna be going on a trip in three days how about you and me hang out tommorow? I could help you collect stuff or just hang out]

He was suprised how quick the reply came  
[Purpled whispered to Dream: Yeah that sounds like fun! I need some glowstone for my UFO and I'm working on stocking up on potions wanna do a nether trip?]

Dream felt a bit of happiness swell in him as he replied [Dream whispered to Purpled: Sounds good, ill meet you at the main portal hub tomorrow soon after sunset]

He got a confirmation from his brother and gave a small smile pocketing his communicator and putting his mask back on before climbing back up to the window.

He paused in the window ceil before opening it and jumping out landing on the ground before running off and disappearing into the nearby woods.  
(I would say and to his house, but everyone knows the man is homeless)


	17. Brotherly Bonds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sibling bonds are odd don't you think?  
> I have siblings and I'd say The phrase   
> 'Id give you my kidney but like hell are you borrowing my charger' stands true
> 
> There are multiple sibling relationships within this story, the main ones being between the SBI group,
> 
> But this isn't about them no-  
> How would you react if you felt helpless to help those you loved most,  
> You'd do anything to help them right?  
> Maybe the so called Manipulative Tyrant in this story isn't completly evil, his morals do exist and his thought process though flawed came from somewhere
> 
> The thoughts of a big brother and a protective best friend who will go to any lengths for those he cares about even if it means they hate him for his actions.

_________  
The next morning Purpled woke up early, he took a long shower knowing he would need to take another due to how hot the nether was but at the moment he didn't care.

He was FINALLY going to spend some well needed quality time with his brother and he was ecstatic,

He packed extra supplies just in case stocking up on pearls, wood, extra pickaxe, food, making sure he could prolong the inevitable end of 'Brotherly Bonding' but he couldn't mope just yet they hadn't even left yet.

He grabbed his final supplies putting on some of his old bedwars equipment , left extra food for his pets as well as turning on the TV for them before going down his elevator.

He exited his UFO and smiled placing a sign on the ground just outside incase anyone stopped by  
-In nether, will be back later January 8th, went with Dream-

A quick message but it meant if either him or Dream got in an accident then they would probably be saved within a day or so, but it was just precaution 

Like- he was going with DREAM- Clay, his big brother he wouldn't let ANYTHING happen to him 

He'd been to the nether more than a dozen times solo and he was going with the number one player (besides Technoblade) on the server, he's just being paranoid.

But he brushed that aside and placed down a second sign just for laughs

-Unless your giving me free stuff, Dream, Sam, Bad, Punz, or Ponk fuck off- 

He chuckled before making his way to where the main Nether portal stood and he lit up spotting a familiar Green hooded figure, he sped up slightly going over.

Dream sat at the portal boredly waiting for what felt like forever until he spotted a purple figure and lit up to see his brother happily coming over to him, he grinned from under his mask and pulled purpled into a hug.

"Eww affection-"

Dream snickered "Ill stop if you want me to-" he teased but Purpled interrupted wrapping his arms around Dream

"No no- its been a while just… ill make an exception just this once"

Dream smiled softly ruffling his hair and pulling him closer repeating his phrasing "Just this once…"

They stayed like that for a good 10 minutes before Purpled finally pulled away and looked up "SO what's our goal"?

Dream smiled "Im glad you asked~ I say we stock up on Glowstone since you need some for your base, maybe some stuff for potions I probably need more blaze powder and magma cream-" he said trailing off as he did a mental checklist of what he did or didn't have as far as supplies went

"OH probably some Ghast tears- and heck we could loot a Piglin base I found one a week or so back that looks untouched that would be fun huh"?

Purpled visibly hesitated, Piglins always scared the crap out of him, he thought Techno was cool as fuck but the fact that they seemed to be the most sentient thing on the server besides the players themselves and maybe villagers unnerved him but he eventually gave a firm nod "Yeah that works- maybe I'll find some cool blocks I can nab to add to my base of gift to Sam or Punz-"

Dream nodded taking mental note of everything they needed to do "Got supplies"?

Purpled nodded digging through his bag "Wood, extra iron, LOADS of food, a ton of gold, ooh I got us both Gold chest plates, I got fishing rods, some carrots, of course a ton of dirt for bridging, and some emergency fire res in both splash and drinkable" he said 

Dream gave a nod and ruffled his hair "Your like annoyingly overprepared"

Purpleds shrugged "Says the guy that has a backup plan for each backup plan for his multiple plans"

Dream just chuckled as both stepped into the portal and let the purple swirls surround them,

Teleporting was always an unpleasant feeling unless you were used to it,  
It felt like your leg fell asleep except over your entire body making a painful pins and needles sensation as you try and get feeling back into all your extremities,

And it never failed to make the person nauseous, most Kids went through a first time 'test run' where before they went on their first official trip to the nether they would go through the portal

Most kids peeled over, unable to move from the pins and needles, others vomited, some were completely unaffected,

Dream was thankfully one of those who only felt somewhat dizzy and his skin tingled as he went through..

He chuckled watching Purpled appear with a sour expression and shivered "Oh god I fucking hate portals-" he said in a low whine

Dream only wheezed as he watched his brother attempt to walk only to fall flat on his back and let out a long strand of curses 

Dream smiled down at him "Aww don't feel too bad! Your not as bad as Sam used to be, he used to pass out every time we went through the portal until we finally did it enough his body adjusted"

Purpled snickered feeling slightly better about his situation as he sat back up "He's gonna be pissed you told me that"

Dream shrugged "Let him be pissed- im still pissed that he's so unreasonably fucking tall-" he said in a huff

Purpled shook his head as He grabbed Dreams hand using his help to get back on his feet as they surveyed the surrounding area

"Lets get some Glowstone first since if I die I want to at least have a pile to run back to-"

Dream winced but nodded "Lets just- let's hope it doesn't get to that-"

Purpled gave him an odd look "I've died Dozens of times before Clay this would be no different"

Dream nodded "I guess- But you've never LOST a life… When you die normally you forget the pain and it just goes away forever but actually LOOSING a life sticks with you… Like how Tubbo has his burn scars, or Quackity is missing teeth and has the scar on his mouth from Techno-" he explained

"You've never had to experience the void or the aftermath of being respawned trust me its an unpleasant feeling more than you realize…"

Purpled noticed how upset Dream looked and glanced around before spotting a cluster of low hanging glowstone he tapped his shoulder and pointed up "Look-"! He said as he gave Dream a stack of Dirt and began to tower towards the cluster his brother hot on his trail

Once they arrived he brought out his pickaxe and got to work mining away at the Golden powder while chatting

Purpled noticed his brother was still deep in thought and let out a long sigh before speaking up "Clay- Quit worrying okay? I've been in the nether dozens of times, and your like one of the number one players on the server im gonna be careful and I know you'll protect me"

He nudged his shoulder "We're admins Dream, always in control of the situation, now quit acting like a kicked puppy and help me collect this"

Dream paused then slowly smiled giving a nod to his brother "Yeah- yeah your right… im just worried you know" there was an unspoken 'your all I have left' between them

Sure Dream had George and Sapnap but after the whole King incident they hadn't spoken in what felt like years though it had only been a month or so,

He has Punz and Sam of course but there more casual friends but Purpled-  
Purpled is his little brother   
The only member of his family he has  
Sure there's Drista but she's always Server hopping and doing her own thing only stopping by on ocassion to check up on them.

Other than that they only had eachother  
And he would move heaven and earth to keep his family and friends safe  
Even if they ended up hating him for it  
Like George and Sapnap did…  
I'm sorry-  
I was just trying to keep you safe  
What did I so wrong?  
Of course I could never hate you George  
Sapnap please don't look at me like that  
Why don't you realize

I'm  
Not  
Your  
Enemy

He was snapped out of his spiral by a loud gasp from his brother he looked over to see Purpled gushing over a baby strider and feeding him 

Dream snickered staying quiet as he watched Purpled the kid usually reminded him of Techno never really getting along well with others, extremly task oriented, but having a soft spot for those closest to him

He hopped down walking over "Don't tell me you wanna keep it-"

Purpled looked up at Dream suddenly turning bright red from embaressment   
"W H A T- psshhh n o…. Maybe? I mean how many people can say they have a pet STRIDER and he even looks like an alien"! He said as he gave him another handful of food earning a happy cooing sound from the mob

Dream sighed "Ill dig a hole- when we're done ill help you smuggle him to the overworld and make a lava room so he won't get too cold"

Purpled looked up at him "Wait really? Why go through the trouble"

Dream smiled pocketing some more Glowstone   
"One I'm your brother I would destroy the world if it meant keeping you safe, two This is the first time we've hung out in awhile I wanna make it special, and three I know your gonna try and do it by yourself so might as well let me help you" 

Purpled grinned thanking him as Dream made a small Pun using nether brick fencing so it couldn't be burned through,

Purpled lead the strider inside and made a small lava pool and left some food as the brothers continued to finish up their nether trip,

Around an hour or two later they finished gathering all ten resources they needed and purpled placed all what he got inside his end chest to prevent loosing it before they both headed to the Bastion

Purpled looked down at the Piglins walking around the black structure and the bright gold blocks in the middle

He looked up at Dream who held up his fist towards Purpled  
"Get in, get the loot-"

Purpled smiled and put his fist against Clay's as he continued   
"Get out without a scratch-"

"Never forget to Watch each others back-" Purpled finished having said the same phrase more times than he could count he gave his brother a nod before they began making their way into the fortress

They split up starting to loot a few chests and managing to get a few good items before Dream had to dodge a crossbow and both of them had to make a run for it as more piglins flooded the halls of the chamber.

Once they made it out they went to the main area to get to gold blocks scaling down the sides,

Purpled brought out his pick axe and began quickly chipping away at the gold blocks as more piglins flooded the main room,

Purpled managed to get a few blocks before a crossbolt knicked his shoulder but he stayed quiet trying to focus on the task

Clay could handle this  
He'll be okay-

Dream was focused on enemies swinging his axe left and right a crossbow aimed and ready in his other hand shooting mobs all over,

He was born Left handed but trained enough to become ambidextrous and able to do basically any task just as well in either hand.

He continued to plow through enemies until nothing was left his mind focused on getting rid of the threat and nothing else

Finally he slayed the last Piglin inside the base and leaned over heaving a bit trying to catch his breath and letting his adrenaline wear off a bit.

Finally when he calmed down he straightened his back out making a few audible pops as he did and pumped his fist in the air "We did it Fuck yeah"! He whipped around ready to see Purpled grinning and ready to leave with their loot but his smile faltered when he didn't see anything.

He paused glancing around "Purpled-"? He began pacing around the main area starting to panic "Purpled"!  
He felt his breath hitch and get caught in his throat "GRAYSON"!

"Over here"! Was a soft call and Dream immidently ran towards the source of the sound going down one of the hallways he saw Purpled slumped over with his back against a wall on a dead end,

He looked up at Dream and gave a smile though his eyes were half lidded "m sorry-"

Dream rushed over "You did GREAT- you just worried me now C'mon let's get out of here before other mobs come in"

Purpled shook his head weakly looking at his brother "Cant-"  
Dream gave him an odd look "Can't? You need a minute"?  
Purpled let out a small whine that was abnormal for the young teen " it hurts- I- I cant move-" he shifted himself slightly unfurling his knees from his chest.

Dream felt his heart drop and probably would have thrown up if he hadn't been in shock, this can't be real, no no no this wasn't happening, this cant be happening,

Purpled- Grayson… had a crossbolt in his side but that was nothing compared to the gold sword that had been shoved between his ribs practically impailing him, blood turned his normally bright Purple sweater a dark maroon color 

Oh gods he was gonna be sick-  
He crouched down digging through his bag murmuring soft comforts as Purpled became more aware of his injury his adrenaline wearing off and tears began streaming down his face,

He realized with horror he didn't have any healing potions but he began to try and focus "Fuck fuck- your gonna be okay alright"?

Purpled simply reached up wincing slightly at the movement and undid Dreams mask tossing it aside before leaning back against the wall "There… now you can't lie to me-... I know im gonna die Clay I'll just respawn in a sec, I doubt I'll loose a life over this or even so I'll be okay"

Dream was sobbing heavily as he tried to figure out what he could do  
But he was helpless-  
He couldn't contact anyone  
He pulled out communicator trying to type out a message only to feel a hand touch his he looked up to see Purpled crying softly "It's not gonna work- they won't be fast enough….

Just please bring The strider home for me okay? I'll be fine and I'll have something happy to wake up to" he spoke the color from his eyes beginning to fade and blood dripping out of his mouth 

Dream sniffled and nodded pulling him close not caring that he was getting coating in blood seeping through his clothes "Shh shhh- it's okay I promise, ill build him a little room and you'll have an alien pet

And ill work twice as hard to make sure you can never be hurt again-" he said in a hushed tone stroking his brothers hair and trying to comfort him though he was still in a state of shock over the entire situation

Purpled clung to his brother shaking softly the pain becoming almost overwhelming his breaths becoming labored "Clay-.. its not your fault-"

Dream didnt awnser…  
Instead he continued rocking Purpled in his arms humming a tune he didnt recognize but enjoyed nonetheless

"I heard there was a special place,

where men could go and emancipate,

the brutality

and tyranny

of their rulers.

Well, this place is real,

you needn’t fret,

with Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, Fuck Eret

A very big and not blown up L’Manburg."

Purpled felt himself starting to drift off though he tried to focus his eyes on Clay who continued to sing his voice beginning to crack as he continued

"My L’Manburg,

My L’Manburg.

My L’Manburg,

My L’Manburg.

For freedom and for liberty,

our nation sought to build on these,

a victory for all under our freedom.

Well the darkness came and then it went,

we built a home and watched it end.

And from the rubble,

emerged my great

L’Manburg.

My L’Manburg,

My L’Manburg.

My L’Manburg,

My L’Manburg."

Dream paused for a moment needing to take a shaky breath and trying to remain calm he could at least finish the song-  
"With hands, bloodied

and knees, feeble.

Our people rose like

The Grand Eagle,

Our empty fields and canals ‘round

L’Mantree.

With sweat and tears we armed our ranks.

We laid foundations in our land.

And all lips from here up to forever"

Purpled finally felt his eyes slip shut and darkness surrounded him the fading sound of his brothers voice still ringing through his head as everything faded to black and the last verse ended

"My L’Manburg,

My L’Manburg.

My L’Manburg,

My L’Manburg."   
Dream finished the song and reached up under his brothers chin feeling for a heartbeat, when he found none he finally let himself break down.

The reality of what happened hit him harder than any blow he had ever received from an enemy,  
His baby brother had just bled out in his arms  
Over what? A few blocks of gold and some random loot?

He let out a loud blood curling scream that echoed throughout the hell like landscape causing most of the mobs to pause for a moment oddly similar to paying their respects,

Even those who had begun to fill the walls of the Bastion quickly turned around and began going the other way leaving the man to Grieve over his brothers body letting the heat of the nether swallow him whole.

When purpled came to he was mostly in a dazed confusion usually he would have expected to feel his weight against a bed or maybe a floor but nothing,

He felt like he was swimming but he couldn't feel water around him-  
Floating… thats odd-

He eventually got enough strength to open his eyes but he instantly regretted it, instead of seeing the comfort of his home or his brothers worried face

All he saw was inky colored darkness in all feasible directions around him

Oh god he was in the void-  
He'd lost a life…  
Well fuck-

He began to look around suddenly starting to become a bit fearful, how exactly was he supposed to get OUT of here

He thought it was just you chill for maybe a moment or two before waking up in your spawn, maybe he just needed to wait?

So he pulled his hood up over his head and crossed his arms preparing to wait for who knew how long-

Well… he was wrong- he had been waiting for what felt like hours maybe minutes? He couldn't exactly tell but he started to feel panicked  
What if he was stuck here?  
He couldn't exactly die   
What if years had passed already-  
He was overwhelmed   
He just wanted to go home-

Tommy was hanging out with Punz learning more dagger tricks when he saw a flash of something and Froze causing Punz to run into Sam, Who by turn stepped on Ants tail, causing Ant to yelp and claw at him, missing and clawing Ponks arm, all an all it was a mess-

Punz looked up at Tommy "Oh my god- you okay? You just froze"

Tommy nodded but didn't look at them instead scanning the surrounding area- what was that?

Schlatt approached him "You okay"?  
Tommy shrugged "I thought I saw something-" he said softly before locking eyes on a silhouette of sorts, it looked like someone floating holding their knees in their chest.

And they were glowing a soft purple outline,  
Fear…   
his mind supplied though he didn't know where from

He pointed at the figure "There- you see that right"?

The others followed his hand but saw nothing Punz shook his head "Tommy there's nothing there-"

Schlatt looked frozen "You- can you guys not see it"!? He said gesturing at the figure 

Sam just shrugged "It's probably just a ghost thing-" he said simply 

Ghostbur suddenly floated over "OH right you two have never seen that before- someone lost a life, when they loose a life there in the void for a few minutes before respawning and you can see them and their aura- " he explained

"Guess you two have never been around when someone lost a life-"

Schlatt paused "Then why didn't we see Tommy like that"?

Ghostbur shook his head "If its your last life you aren't stuck between afterlife or this plane so you aren't visible in the void" he looked over at the figure floating over "Oh my-"

Ant spoke up "What? What's wrong"?

Ghostbur looked over "I um- I think this is their first time- their starting to fade- you're supposed to respawn by now but you have to LET yourself respawn… I think their too scared-" 

Ponk looked up at Ghostbur "What happens if you DONT let yourself respawn"

Ghostbur looked over "Well- Um.. You go Poof… Your life is slowly drained from you and your stuck-"

Tommy looked at the figure "Can- Can ghosts go into the void"

Ghostbur lit up "I like where your heads at- Mmhm just go invisible like you would normally do but keep letting yourself fade away alright"?

Tommy gave a soft nod following ghostburs instructions trying to focus as he felt himself seem to fade away bit by bit until suddenly everything around him was gone and he was in an inky abyss looking at the figure.

It was a boy around his age wearing a purple hoodie though there was a large cut from a sword seeming to have went through his side, Tommy winced slightly before flying over

He paused looking them over- he didn't recognize them at all,

"Hello"?  
Purpled just about jumped out of his skin his head snapping up to see Tommy-  
Why was Tommy here?  
And he looked-  
Oh god

"Tommy? Are you-"

Tommy smirked "Dead? Yeah… I have been for a little while now… so what are you doing here"?

Purpled blinked "P-Piglin attack- why can't I respawn its not working…" 

Tommy nodded "Who are you?- im sorry my memory isn't the best.."

Purpled simply chuckled running his hand through his hair "I dont blame you- im not exactly someone most people would call rememberable… But im Purpled or well Grayson but I don’t get called that by anyone but my siblings-"

Tommy smiled softly "I have siblings- Techno and Wilbur you know them yes"?

Purpled nodded as Tommy floated besides him "Who are your siblings"?

Purpled shrugged "Not important- its not like I see them anymore… always off doing bigger and better things- we were never a close family but with the SMP and all we've just grown apart more and more" he said bitterly

Tommy blinked a bit and smiled "Huh- I guess we aren't so different… except for the fact you still have two more lifes and two more chances to make the most of things-"

Purpled looked down at his shoes "What if… what if I just stayed here?- Its quiet… and I've got you…. Not like anyone else would miss me-"

Tommy shrugged "Maybe so-"  
Purpled looked up at him confusion on his face but Tommy continued "I used to think like that… thought that it would be better off with me gone- I almost killed myself you know? But I didnt- though my body was so weak that It didn't matter much" 

He looked over at purpled "Schlatt who was a Drunken Tyrant is mourned, heck Quackity was ecstatic to see him alive and sober" he said earning a chuckle from Purpled

"So imagine how sad they would be to loose you? You still have a life and maybe no one would notice but they would eventually and they'd hate themself forever for not noticing sooner thats just how we are"

Tommy held his hand out "But I dont think thats the truth… let me prove it to you… let's go home-"

Purpled paused staring at Tommys hand and feeling millions of thoughts racing through his head before he reached out grasping tommys hand in his own "...okay."

Tommy faded back into existence but this time holding a trembling figure Purpled now feeling the full pain of his injury at once,

The physical injury itself may be gone from respawn… but the phantom pain is still as present as ever-

Purpled suddenly felt hands on him and opened his eyes to see a shocked looking Punz "Oh my god Purpled- what happened"

Purpled clung to him for dear life still in a dazed state between reality and the odd entity of the void "I… Nether trip- Me and Clay raided a Bastion… I got ambushed and died- I'd never lost a Life before if Tommy hadn't been there than…"

He was surprised when Punz pulled him into a hug and suddenly Sam and Ponks arms wrapped around them as well.

Punz pulled back "Listen we need to get you home- hes probably pacing your base right now worried sick, and you need to rest…"

Punz lifted Purpled up onto his back as they said quick goodbyes Sam deciding to tag along as Purpled spoke about the event

"It was so much fun- I met a baby strider and Clay said I could keep it and he'd help me build a lava room for them… we got a ton of supplies and loot-

I was an idiot and got myself impaled-" he said casually but it caused both older men to freeze up 

Purpled sighed still loopy "Clay was of course horrified- I did more calming him down than anything… big crybaby… But he held me close and sang a weird song id never heard before"

Sam took mental note to make sure to keep an eye on Dream for the next few days while Punz spoke "Oh? Do you know the tune"

Purpled nodded "YUP"! He said making a pop sound with the P as he began humming the L'manberg anthem murmuring some of the lyrics of diffrent verses but singing the chorus. 

They both chuckled and continue to talk to the exhausted boy before they reached his house, the door slammed open and they saw Clay with a panicked look on his face his mask gone, his clothes were drenched in dried blood and he looked horrid.

Sam spoke "He got stuck in the void but got out with some help from Ghostbur-" which wasn't entirely a lie "Hes still loopy- now let's go inside you help me make some dinner and Punz will put him to bed"

Dream looked down at his brother before giving a jerky nod and letting Sam walk in following behind

Purpled leaned into Punz ear and whispered "Is Ghost Tommy a secret or sumthin"?

Punz snickered and nodded "Yup- Tubbo and Dream dont know about him yet… and its his choice for when they do know you understand"? Purpled gave a small confirmation as Punz walked in

"Now you must be exhausted so were going to bed and ill wake you up when dinner is ready okay"?

Purpled gave an overdramatic nod "Okay M O M-" he teased 

Punz walked over to the living room and laid purple down on the couch bringing him some extra pillows and blankets to make it more comfortable,

He would have taken him to his room but water elevator didn't seem like a good idea at the moment and neither did him being left alone,

With that he joined Dream and Sam in the kitchen,

Sam had Dream seated at The dining table his elbows on his knees and head down tapping his foot anxiously he looked up at Punz "How is he"?

Punz took the seat across from him and pulled it over to the end of the table "Hes still loopy but a bit of rest and he should be fine, now how are you"?

Dream blinked "Im FINE-"

Sam interrupted "Your still in bloody clothes, you don't have your mask on, and I doubt you've stopped pacing since you arrived back here"

Dream went silent knowing he had no retort against that Punz sighed standing up "Ill finish the soup Sam, you go grab Dream some extra clothes and we can talk"

Sam nodded handing the ladle to Punz who took over cooking while Sam headed to Dreams closet coming back with an old T shirt and some Green fuzzy PJ pants.

Dream looked at the pants and gave Sam an odd look who just shrugged "Sad boy hours deserve comfy PJs now just change here we've both had to treat you for wounds before nothing new"

Dream nodded and quickly took off the bloody clothes switching into the new ones and setting the old clothes to the side, Sam took the clothes putting them into the wash and coming back with a brush and hair tie.

Dream looked at him and immidently lit up as Sam walked behind him and began undoing the dozens of tiny braids scattered throughout his hair and combing through it making Dream practically melt against the chair.

For someone seen as an untouchable mastermind, he was extremely touch starved and super social especially since the whole fight with George and Sapnap he practically visited Punz or Sam at least once a day if not more.

He finished brushing through Dreams hair as Punz made a few bowls for dinner and set one in front of him and two more for the both of them,

Dream opened his mouth to speak but Sam cut him off "He was almost passing out on the way here- honestly its probably best if he doesn't eat for now he may just throw it up"

Dream seemed satisfied with that awnser and grabbed his spoon taking in a spoonful of soup "Oh my god Punz why the hell are you a good cook it doesn't make sense-"

Punz shrugged "Im not a PVP or Speedrun god like you, or a Redstone genius like Sam, so I just become really good at random stuff like I can make a killer flower crown and Nikki has tried haggling me for my Brownie recipe for months now" he teased as he took a bite

"Also we don't have access to THAT many ingredients so I gotta get creative or else I'll eat the same shit every day-"

Sam chuckled as he began eating as well "Thats Fair-" he swallowed then turned to Dream "Now- Talk… You need to let it out and were listening"

Dream sighed letting out a shaky breath he didnt want to but he knew he needed to tell them,

"I was so focused on defeating the piglins I forgot he was even there… I went to celebrate with him but he was gone- I panicked and I heard him call for me…" he looked down at the soup trying to calm himself down and not become overwhelmed by the memories

"I found him with a sword between his ribs bleeding out against a wall- he thankfully knew better than to pull it out and he managed to kill the piglin but still,

He was mostly trying to calm me down and-"

He started crying softly "Its all my fault- it was just supposed to be a supply run but I had found a Bastion a week or so before and we decided to check it out and- fuck…"

Sam put his hand on his shoulder "Hey listen- there was nothing you can do now except be there for him… he was rambling the entire way back about how much fun he had with you"

Punz snickered "And gushing about a baby strider he decided to name 'Martian' or 'Minion' he's undecided"

Dream chuckled shaking his head remembering Purpleds reaction to the Strider at first "Yeah the strider is downstairs actually- I stress build an entire enclosure for him…"

Sam couldn't help but laugh shaking his head "Of course you did- now finish up your dinner and were all gonna sleep in the living room tonight to keep an eye on Purpled and you okay"?

Dream looked at them both realizing by their gaze  
This wasn't up for debate-  
He sighed and nodded going back to eating as they talked amongst them selfs

Soon enough everyone finished, got ready for bed, and got them selfs set up in the living room.

Dream started up at the ceiling  
Sure this wasn't entirely his fault and he never could have seen this coming  
He should have been more prepared  
This is why he needed control-  
So he could tip the scales of fate in his favor,

He had to keep them safe  
By   
Any  
Means  
Nessicary 

He glanced at the three sleeping figures and let a small smile play on his face 

Even if it meant loosing the only people he had left- if they were safe that would be enough….

He let that thought sink in as he slowly drifted off to sleep letting his exhaustion overtake his thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh geeze this was just- woah  
> I'm one of 5 siblings so having to write this hit hard and I ended up having to rewrite most of it in order to make it less heartbreaking,
> 
> BUT I do hope you enjoy a much longer chapter, even if it is a tad more angst than normal and I'd love you hearnyour thought in the comments over anything I can improve otherwise love you guys and have a great weekend :)


	18. Brotherly Bonds (Revised)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm not going to delete the other version at least not yet, though this one I took more time and effort into the diffrent scenes and added a bit more detail
> 
> I'm currently working on the next chapter but might as well post this before it falls into the endless abyss of Google docs I have saved,
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

_________  
The next morning Purpled woke up early, he took a long shower knowing he would need to take another due to how hot the nether was but at the moment he didn't care.

He was FINALLY going to spend some well needed quality time with his brother and he was ecstatic,

He packed extra supplies just in case stocking up on pearls, wood, extra pickaxe, food, making sure he could prolong the inevitable end of 'Brotherly Bonding' but he couldn't mope just yet they hadn't even left yet.

He grabbed his final supplies putting on some of his old bedwars equipment , left extra food for his pets as well as turning on the TV for them before going down his elevator.

He exited his UFO and smiled placing a sign on the ground just outside incase anyone stopped by  
-In nether, will be back later January 8th, went with Dream-

A quick message but it meant if either him or Dream got in an accident then they would probably be saved within a day or so, but it was just precaution 

Like- he was going with DREAM- Clay, his big brother he wouldn't let ANYTHING happen to him 

He'd been to the nether more than a dozen times solo and he was going with the number one player (besides Technoblade) on the server, he's just being paranoid.

But he brushed that aside and placed down a second sign just for laughs

-Unless your giving me free stuff, Dream, Sam, Bad, Punz, or Ponk fuck off- 

He chuckled before making his way to where the main Nether portal stood and he lit up spotting a familiar Green hooded figure, he sped up slightly going over.

Dream sat at the portal boredly waiting for what felt like forever until he spotted a purple figure and lit up to see his brother happily coming over to him, he grinned from under his mask and pulled purpled into a hug.

"Eww affection-"

Dream snickered "Ill stop if you want me to-" he teased but Purpled interrupted wrapping his arms around Dream

"No no- its been a while just… ill make an exception just this once"

Dream smiled softly ruffling his hair and pulling him closer repeating his phrasing "Just this once…"

They stayed like that for a good 10 minutes before Purpled finally pulled away and looked up "SO what's our goal"?

Dream smiled "Im glad you asked~ I say we stock up on Glowstone since you need some for your base, maybe some stuff for potions I probably need more blaze powder and magma cream-" he said trailing off as he did a mental checklist of what he did or didn't have as far as supplies went

"OH probably some Ghast tears- and heck we could loot a Piglin base I found one a week or so back that looks untouched that would be fun huh"?

Purpled visibly hesitated, Piglins always scared the crap out of him, he thought Techno was cool as fuck but the fact that they seemed to be the most sentient thing on the server besides the players themselves and maybe villagers unnerved him but he eventually gave a firm nod "Yeah that works- maybe I'll find some cool blocks I can nab to add to my base of gift to Sam or Punz-"

Dream nodded taking mental note of everything they needed to do "Got supplies"?

Purpled nodded digging through his bag "Wood, extra iron, LOADS of food, a ton of gold, ooh I got us both Gold chest plates, I got fishing rods, some carrots, of course a ton of dirt for bridging, and some emergency fire res in both splash and drinkable" he said 

Dream gave a nod and ruffled his hair "Your like annoyingly overprepared"

Purpleds shrugged "Says the guy that has a backup plan for each backup plan for his multiple plans"

Dream just chuckled as both stepped into the portal and let the purple swirls surround them,

Teleporting was always an unpleasant feeling unless you were used to it,  
It felt like your leg fell asleep except over your entire body making a painful pins and needles sensation as you try and get feeling back into all your extremities,

And it never failed to make the person nauseous, most Kids went through a first time 'test run' where before they went on their first official trip to the nether they would go through the portal

Most kids peeled over, unable to move from the pins and needles, others vomited, some were completely unaffected,

Dream was thankfully one of those who only felt somewhat dizzy and his skin tingled as he went through..

He chuckled watching Purpled appear with a sour expression and shivered "Oh god I fucking hate portals-" he said in a low whine

Dream only wheezed as he watched his brother attempt to walk only to fall flat on his back and let out a long strand of curses 

Dream smiled down at him "Aww don't feel too bad! Your not as bad as Sam used to be, he used to pass out every time we went through the portal until we finally did it enough his body adjusted"

Purpled snickered feeling slightly better about his situation as he sat back up "He's gonna be pissed you told me that"

Dream shrugged "Let him be pissed- im still pissed that he's so unreasonably fucking tall-" he said in a huff

Purpled shook his head as He grabbed Dreams hand using his help to get back on his feet as they surveyed the surrounding area

"Lets get some Glowstone first since if I die I want to at least have a pile to run back to-"

Dream winced but nodded "Lets just- let's hope it doesn't get to that-"

Purpled gave him an odd look "I've died Dozens of times before Clay this would be no different"

Dream nodded "I guess- But you've never LOST a life… When you die normally you forget the pain and it just goes away forever but actually LOOSING a life sticks with you… Like how Tubbo has his burn scars, or Quackity is missing teeth and has the scar on his mouth from Techno-" he explained

"You've never had to experience the void or the aftermath of being respawned trust me its an unpleasant feeling more than you realize…"

Purpled noticed how upset Dream looked and glanced around before spotting a cluster of low hanging glowstone he tapped his shoulder and pointed up "Look-"! He said as he gave Dream a stack of Dirt and began to tower towards the cluster his brother hot on his trail

Once they arrived he brought out his pickaxe and got to work mining away at the Golden powder while chatting

Purpled noticed his brother was still deep in thought and let out a long sigh before speaking up "Clay- Quit worrying okay? I've been in the nether dozens of times, and your like one of the number one players on the server im gonna be careful and I know you'll protect me"

He nudged his shoulder "We're admins Dream, always in control of the situation, now quit acting like a kicked puppy and help me collect this"

Dream paused then slowly smiled giving a nod to his brother "Yeah- yeah your right… im just worried you know" there was an unspoken 'your all I have left' between them

Sure Dream had George and Sapnap but after the whole King incident they hadn't spoken in what felt like years though it had only been a month or so,

He has Punz and Sam of course but there more casual friends but Purpled-  
Purpled is his little brother   
The only member of his family he has  
Sure there's Drista but she's always Server hopping and doing her own thing only stopping by on ocassion to check up on them.

Other than that they only had eachother  
And he would move heaven and earth to keep his family and friends safe  
Even if they ended up hating him for it  
Like George and Sapnap did…  
I'm sorry-  
I was just trying to keep you safe  
What did I so wrong?  
Of course I could never hate you George  
Sapnap please don't look at me like that  
Why don't you realize

I'm  
Not  
Your  
Enemy

He was snapped out of his spiral by a loud gasp from his brother he looked over to see Purpled gushing over a baby strider and feeding him 

Dream snickered staying quiet as he watched Purpled the kid usually reminded him of Techno never really getting along well with others, extremly task oriented, but having a soft spot for those closest to him

He hopped down walking over "Don't tell me you wanna keep it-"

Purpled looked up at Dream suddenly turning bright red from embaressment   
"W H A T- psshhh n o…. Maybe? I mean how many people can say they have a pet STRIDER and he even looks like an alien"! He said as he gave him another handful of food earning a happy cooing sound from the mob

Dream sighed "Ill dig a hole- when we're done ill help you smuggle him to the overworld and make a lava room so he won't get too cold"

Purpled looked up at him "Wait really? Why go through the trouble"

Dream smiled pocketing some more Glowstone   
"One I'm your brother I would destroy the world if it meant keeping you safe, two This is the first time we've hung out in awhile I wanna make it special, and three I know your gonna try and do it by yourself so might as well let me help you" 

Purpled grinned thanking him as Dream made a small Pun using nether brick fencing so it couldn't be burned through,

Purpled lead the strider inside and made a small lava pool and left some food as the brothers continued to finish up their nether trip,

Around an hour or two later they finished gathering all ten resources they needed and purpled placed all what he got inside his end chest to prevent loosing it before they both headed to the Bastion

Purpled looked down at the Piglins walking around the black structure and the bright gold blocks in the middle

He looked up at Dream who held up his fist towards Purpled  
"Get in, get the loot-"

Purpled smiled and put his fist against Clay's as he continued   
"Get out without a scratch-"

"Never forget to Watch each others back-" Purpled finished having said the same phrase more times than he could count he gave his brother a nod before they began making their way into the fortress

They split up starting to loot a few chests and managing to get a few good items before Dream had to dodge a crossbow and both of them had to make a run for it as more piglins flooded the halls of the chamber.

Once they made it out they went to the main area to get to gold blocks scaling down the sides,

Purpled brought out his pick axe and began quickly chipping away at the gold blocks as more piglins flooded the main room,

Purpled managed to get a few blocks before a crossbolt knicked his shoulder but he stayed quiet trying to focus on the task

Clay could handle this  
He'll be okay-

Dream was focused on enemies swinging his axe left and right a crossbow aimed and ready in his other hand shooting mobs all over,

He was born Left handed but trained enough to become ambidextrous and able to do basically any task just as well in either hand.

He continued to plow through enemies until nothing was left his mind focused on getting rid of the threat and nothing else

Finally he slayed the last Piglin inside the base and leaned over heaving a bit trying to catch his breath and letting his adrenaline wear off a bit.

Finally when he calmed down he straightened his back out making a few audible pops as he did and pumped his fist in the air "We did it Fuck yeah"! He whipped around ready to see Purpled grinning and ready to leave with their loot but his smile faltered when he didn't see anything.

He paused glancing around "Purpled-"? He began pacing around the main area starting to panic "Purpled"!  
He felt his breath hitch and get caught in his throat "GRAYSON"!

"Over here"! Was a soft call and Dream immidently ran towards the source of the sound going down one of the hallways he saw Purpled slumped over with his back against a wall on a dead end,

He looked up at Dream and gave a smile though his eyes were half lidded "m sorry-"

Dream felt frozen the loud clattering of him dropping his axe and shield against the floor snapped him out of his daze as he rushed over "You did GREAT- you just worried me now C'mon let's get out of here before other mobs come in" he said sounding relieved but adrenaline still high from the sudden rush of panic

Purpled shook his head weakly looking at his brother "Cant-"  
Dream paused and gave him an odd look "Can't? You need a minute"? He asked looking his brother over, maybe he over estimated his endurance he reached into his bag pulling out some steak and offering it to him with a smile,

Purpled let out a small whine that was abnormal for the young teen " it hurts- I- I cant move-" he shifted himself slightly unfurling his knees from his chest.

Dreams smile fell within an instant he probably would have thrown up if he hadn't been in shock,   
this can't be real,   
no no no this wasn't happening,  
this can't be happening,  
Not now  
Not to Grayson-  
Why not him-

Purpled- Grayson… had a crossbolt in his side but that was nothing compared to the gold sword that had been shoved between his ribs practically impailing him, 

Blood had turned his normally bright Purple sweater a dark maroon color and the fabric frayed around where it had been sliced by the sword  
The weapon now almost a rust color due to the blood coating the usual bright gold,

Oh gods he was gonna be sick-  
He crouched down digging through his bag murmuring soft comforts as Purpled became more aware of his injury his adrenaline wearing off and tears began streaming down his face,

He realized with horror he didn't have any healing potions but he began to try and focus though he knew his hands were beginning to shake and voice unsteady but he needed to stay strong at least in front of purpled and try not to let the full gravity weigh in just yet  
"Fuck fuck- your gonna be okay alright"?

Purpled slowly sat up and reached to cup Dreams face whiping away a few tears as he pulled him closer another hand moving behind his head and unclipping his mask and tossing the porcelain cover to the side,

Purpled laid back down against the wall with a huff though his breathing was still uneven and more of a wheezing sound then actual breaths   
"There… now you can't lie to me-... I know im gonna die Clay I'll just respawn in a sec, I doubt I'll lose a life over this or even so I'll be okay" 

But they both knew a death like this.. there was no way he WASN'T going to lose a life  
And yet-

Purpled was trying to comfort HIM he was the big brother  
He was supposed to Scare away the monsters under his bed  
Rock him to sleep after a nightmare,  
The same boy he taught to spar  
Fought over extra dessert  
Told scary stories and shared the legends he'd grown to know by heart, 

Was bleeding out in his arms   
He was supposed to protect him

But he was helpless-  
He couldn't help him-

He pulled out his communicator trying to type out a message only to feel a hand touch his he looked up to see Purpled crying softly "It's not gonna work- they won't be fast enough…." He said seeming to have already accepted his fate which only made Dream feel even more sick,

"Just please bring The strider home for me okay? I'll be fine and I'll have something happy to wake up to" as he spoke his voice much softer and he seemed to struggle to form sentences,

the color from his eyes was beginning to fade from a striking Royal Purple to a soft Lilac color like how they were when he was just a baby,

He reached his hand up and wiped away the streak of blood dripping out of his mouth 

Dream sniffled and nodded pulling him close not caring that he was getting coating in blood seeping through his clothes feeling himself start to unravel but he wanted to be strong   
He HAD to keep it together even for just a little bit longer,

He began rambling trying to produce any amount of comfort to his baby brother  
"Shh shhh- it's okay I promise, ill build him a little room and you'll have an alien pet" he took in a shaky breath tears now freely streaming down his face

"And i'll work twice as hard to make sure you can never be hurt again-" he said in a hushed tone stroking his brothers hair and trying to comfort him though he was still in a state of shock over the entire situation

Purpled clung to his brother shaking softly the pain becoming almost overwhelming his breaths becoming labored "Clay-.. its not your fault-" 

Dream looked at him "It is… If I hadn't suggested the whole raid, or if I brought healing potions, you'd be okay"

Purpled looked up at Dream and he looked so unbearably small-  
It reminded Dream of when they were little "Remember the first time we sparred with the wooden swords"?

Purpled gave a soft nod as Dream continued with the story only to be cut off by Purpled pleading softly

"Please Please don't blame yourself for this… don't try and be the hero and treat me like glass- please I just- I need you to stay…"

Dream didnt awnser…  
Instead he continued rocking Purpled in his arms humming a tune he didnt recognize but enjoyed nonetheless

"I heard there was a special place,

where men could go and emancipate,

the brutality

and tyranny

of their rulers."

God… What would he and his brother be doing if he had just LET Lmanberg exist, or if he acted as a better Admin,  
what then?

"Well, this place is real,

you needn’t fret,

with Wilbur, Tommy, Tubbo, Fuck Eret

A very big and not blown up L’Manburg."

Purpled felt himself starting to drift off though he tried to focus his eyes on Clay who continued to sing his voice beginning to crack as he continued

"My L’Manburg,

My L’Manburg.

My L’Manburg,

My L’Manburg.

For freedom and for liberty,

our nation sought to build on these,

a victory for all under our freedom."

He could have just given in…. Purpled would be at home safe  
He'd still have Sapnap and George by his side  
Everything would be okay..

But he knew better… no matter what he did everyone had already left him- all he could do was continue to fight to protect them even if they hated him for it…

He wouldn't be helpless next time

"Well the darkness came and then it went,

we built a home and watched it end.

And from the rubble,

emerged my great

L’Manburg.

My L’Manburg,

My L’Manburg.

My L’Manburg,

My L’Manburg."

Dream paused for a moment needing to take a shaky breath and trying to remain calm he could at least finish the song-  
"With hands, bloodied

and knees, feeble.

Our people rose like

The Grand Eagle,

Our empty fields and canals ‘round

L’Mantree.

With sweat and tears we armed our ranks.

We laid foundations in our land.

And all lips from here up to forever"

Purpled finally felt his eyes slip shut and darkness surrounded him the fading sound of his brothers voice still ringing through his head as everything faded to black and the last verse ended

"My L’Manburg,

My L’Manburg.

My L’Manburg,

My L’Manburg."   
Dream finished the song and reached up under his brothers chin feeling for a heartbeat, when he found none he finally let himself break down.

The reality of what happened hit him harder than any blow he had ever received from an enemy,  
His baby brother had just bled out in his arms  
Over what? A few blocks of gold and some random loot?

He let out a loud blood curling scream that echoed throughout the hell like landscape causing most of the mobs to pause for a moment oddly similar to paying their respects,

Even those who had begun to fill the walls of the Bastion quickly turned around and began going the other way leaving the man to Grieve over his brothers body letting the heat of the nether swallow him whole.

He continued to hold Purpled in his arms sobbing heavily before His body slowly faded away,

Dream took a shaky breath wrapping his arms around himself and let out another loud wail,  
This was all his fault  
He couldn't save him  
He couldn't protect any of them  
He was helpless  
Useless  
There was nothing he could have done

'Yes there was… If he were stronger this never would have happened'

But what if that wasn't it? Purpled would have died either way

'It should have been me'

Yeah it should have…. But it wasn't  
So all I can do is fight to protect them with every bit of life I have left in me…

Dream eventually managed to stand up though his clothes were now torn and blood soaked his throat felt raw from screaming but he couldn't care less,

He had his own injures he knew would need to be treated sooner or later and yet he still didn't care,

He reached down grabbing Purpleds items and storing them away as well as his axe that he held in his off hand before slowly making his way out if the nether feeling completly numb still in a bit of denial over what happened

As he stood in front of the portal he froze glancing over at the 2 by 2 by 2 hole he knew held the baby strider his brothers smile when speaking about it playing in his head again,

He sighed crafting a few buckets and scooping up lava almost robotic and grabbing a fishing rod and picking up the small creature,  
causing it to let out a few distress noises before calming down as Dream fed them a mushroom or two.

Dream sighed carrying the small creature back through the portal,

He starred out at the sky covering his eyes when he realized he forgot his mask he sighed looking down at the small Mob and wrapping them in his cloak in order to keep them warm as he made his way to Purpleds house

He knew it wasn't much  
But it was the least he could do to try and bring himself down to somewhat normality after the entire encounter.

When purpled came to he was mostly in a dazed confusion usually he would have expected to feel his weight against a bed or maybe a floor but nothing,

He felt like he was swimming but he couldn't feel water around him-  
Floating… that's odd-

He eventually got enough strength to open his eyes but he instantly regretted it, instead of seeing the comfort of his home or his brothers worried face

All he saw was inky colored darkness in all feasible directions around him

Oh god he was in the void-  
He'd lost a life…  
Well fuck-

He began to look around suddenly starting to become a bit fearful, how exactly was he supposed to get OUT of here

He thought it was just you chill for maybe a moment or two before waking up in your spawn, maybe he just needed to wait?

So he pulled his hood up over his head and crossed his arms preparing to wait for who knew how long-

Well… he was wrong- he had been waiting for what felt like hours maybe minutes? He couldn't exactly tell but he started to feel panicked  
What if he was stuck here?  
He couldn't exactly die   
What if years had passed already-  
He was overwhelmed   
He just wanted to go home-

Tommy was hanging out with Punz learning more dagger tricks when he saw a flash of something and Froze causing Punz to run into Sam, Who by turn stepped on Ants tail, causing Ant to yelp and claw at him, missing and clawing Ponks arm, all an all it was a mess-

Punz looked up at Tommy "Oh my god- you okay? You just froze"

Tommy nodded but didn't look at them instead scanning the surrounding area- what was that?

Schlatt approached him "You okay"?  
Tommy shrugged "I thought I saw something-" he said softly before locking eyes on a silhouette of sorts, it looked like someone floating holding their knees in their chest.

And they were glowing a soft purple outline,  
Fear…   
his mind supplied though he didn't know where from

He pointed at the figure "There- you see that right"?

The others followed his hand but saw nothing Punz shook his head "Tommy there's nothing there-"

Schlatt looked frozen "You- can you guys not see it"!? He said gesturing at the figure 

Sam just shrugged "It's probably just a ghost thing-" he said simply 

Ghostbur suddenly floated over "OH right you two have never seen that before- someone lost a life, when they loose a life there in the void for a few minutes before respawning and you can see them and their aura- " he explained

"Guess you two have never been around when someone lost a life-"

Schlatt paused "Then why didn't we see Tommy like that"?

Ghostbur shook his head "If its your last life you aren't stuck between afterlife or this plane so you aren't visible in the void" he looked over at the figure floating over "Oh my-"

Ant spoke up "What? What's wrong"?

Ghostbur looked over "I um- I think this is their first time- their starting to fade- you're supposed to respawn by now but you have to LET yourself respawn… I think their too scared-" 

Ponk looked up at Ghostbur "What happens if you DONT let yourself respawn"

Ghostbur looked over "Well- Um.. You go Poof… Your life is slowly drained from you and your stuck-"

Tommy looked at the figure "Can- Can ghosts go into the void"

Ghostbur lit up "I like where your heads at- Mmhm just go invisible like you would normally do but keep letting yourself fade away alright"?

Tommy gave a soft nod following ghostburs instructions trying to focus as he felt himself seem to fade away bit by bit until suddenly everything around him was gone and he was in an inky abyss looking at the figure.

It was a boy around his age wearing a purple hoodie though there was a large cut from a sword seeming to have went through his side, Tommy winced slightly before flying over

He paused looking them over- he didn't recognize them at all,

"Hello"?  
Purpled just about jumped out of his skin his head snapping up to see Tommy-  
Why was Tommy here?  
And he looked-  
Oh god

"Tommy? Are you-"

Tommy smirked "Dead? Yeah… I have been for a little while now… so what are you doing here"?

Purpled blinked "P-Piglin attack- why can't I respawn its not working…" 

Tommy nodded "Who are you?- im sorry my memory isn't the best.."

Purpled simply chuckled running his hand through his hair "I dont blame you- im not exactly someone most people would call rememberable… But im Purpled or well Grayson but I don’t get called that by anyone but my siblings-"

Tommy smiled softly "I have siblings- Techno and Wilbur you know them yes"?

Purpled nodded as Tommy floated besides him "Who are your siblings"?

Purpled shrugged pulling his knees into his chest "Not important- it's not like I see them anymore… always off doing bigger and better things- we were never a close family but with the SMP and all we've just grown apart more and more" he said bitterly

Tommy blinked a bit and smiled "Huh- I guess we aren't so different… except for the fact you still have two more lifes and two more chances to make the most of things-"

Purpled looked down at his shoes "What if… what if I just stayed here?- Its quiet… and I've got you…. Not like anyone else would miss me-"

Tommy shrugged "Maybe so-"  
Purpled looked up at him confusion on his face but Tommy continued "I used to think like that… thought that it would be better off with me gone- I almost killed myself you know? But I didnt- though my body was so weak that It didn't matter much" 

He looked over at purpled "Schlatt who was a Drunken Tyrant is mourned, heck Quackity was ecstatic to see him alive and sober" he said earning a chuckle from Purpled

"So imagine how sad they would be to loose you? You still have a life and maybe no one would notice but they would eventually and they'd hate themself forever for not noticing sooner thats just how we are"

Tommy held his hand out "But I dont think thats the truth… let me prove it to you… let's go home-"

Purpled paused staring at Tommys hand and feeling millions of thoughts racing through his head before he reached out grasping tommys hand in his own "...okay."

Tommy faded back into existence but this time holding a trembling figure Purpled now feeling the full pain of his injury at once,

The physical injury itself may be gone from respawn… but the phantom pain is still as present as ever-

Purpled suddenly felt hands on him and opened his eyes to see a shocked looking Punz "Oh my god Purpled- what happened"

Purpled clung to him for dear life still in a dazed state between reality and the odd entity of the void "I… Nether trip- Me and Clay raided a Bastion… I got ambushed and died- I'd never lost a Life before if Tommy hadn't been there than…"

He was surprised when Punz pulled him into a hug and suddenly Sam and Ponks arms wrapped around them as well.

Punz pulled back "Listen we need to get you home- hes probably pacing your base right now worried sick, and you need to rest…"

Punz lifted Purpled up onto his back as they said quick goodbyes Sam deciding to tag along as Purpled spoke about the event

"It was so much fun- I met a baby strider and Clay said I could keep it and he'd help me build a lava room for them… we got a ton of supplies and loot-

I was an idiot and got myself impaled-" he said casually but it caused both older men to freeze up 

Purpled sighed still loopy "Clay was of course horrified- I did more calming him down than anything… big crybaby… But he held me close and sang a weird song id never heard before"

Sam took mental note to make sure to keep an eye on Dream for the next few days while Punz spoke "Oh? Do you know the tune"

Purpled nodded "YUP"! He said making a pop sound with the P as he began humming the L'manberg anthem murmuring some of the lyrics of diffrent verses but singing the chorus. 

They both chuckled and continue to talk to the exhausted boy before they reached his house, the door slammed open and they saw Clay with a panicked look on his face his mask gone, his clothes were drenched in dried blood and he looked horrid.

Sam spoke "He got stuck in the void but got out with some help from Ghostbur-" which wasn't entirely a lie "Hes still loopy- now let's go inside you help me make some dinner and Punz will put him to bed"

Dream looked down at his brother before giving a jerky nod and letting Sam walk in following behind

Purpled leaned into Punz ear and whispered "Is Ghost Tommy a secret or sum shit"?

Punz snickered and nodded "Yup- Tubbo and Dream don't know about him yet… and its his choice for when they do know you understand"? Purpled gave a small confirmation as Punz walked in

"Now you must be exhausted so were going to bed and ill wake you up when dinner is ready okay"?

Purpled gave an overdramatic nod "Okay M O M-" he teased 

Punz walked over to the living room and laid purple down on the couch bringing him some extra pillows and blankets to make it more comfortable,

He would have taken him to his room but water elevator didn't seem like a good idea at the moment and neither did him being left alone,

With that he joined Dream and Sam in the kitchen,

Sam had Dream seated at The dining table his elbows on his knees and head down tapping his foot anxiously he looked up at Punz "How is he"?

Punz took the seat across from him and pulled it over to the end of the table "Hes still loopy but a bit of rest and he should be fine, now how are you"?

Dream blinked "Im FINE-"

Sam interrupted "Your still in bloody clothes, you don't have your mask on, and I doubt you've stopped pacing since you arrived back here"

Dream went silent knowing he had no retort against that Punz sighed standing up "Ill finish the soup Sam, you go grab Dream some extra clothes and we can talk"

Sam nodded handing the ladle to Punz who took over cooking while Sam headed to Dreams closet coming back with an old T shirt and some Green fuzzy PJ pants.

Dream looked at the pants and gave Sam an odd look who just shrugged "Sad boy hours deserve comfy PJs now just change here we've both had to treat you for wounds before nothing new"

Dream nodded and quickly took off the bloody clothes switching into the new ones and setting the old clothes to the side, Sam took the clothes putting them into the wash and coming back with a brush and hair tie.

Dream looked at him and immidently lit up as Sam walked behind him and began undoing the dozens of tiny braids scattered throughout his hair and combing through it making Dream practically melt against the chair.

For someone seen as an untouchable mastermind, he was extremely touch starved and super social especially since the whole fight with George and Sapnap he practically visited Punz or Sam at least once a day if not more.

He finished brushing through Dreams hair as Punz made a few bowls for dinner and set one in front of him and two more for the both of them,

Dream opened his mouth to speak but Sam cut him off "He was almost passing out on the way here- honestly its probably best if he doesn't eat for now he may just throw it up"

Dream seemed satisfied with that awnser and grabbed his spoon taking in a spoonful of soup "Oh my god Punz why the hell are you a good cook it doesn't make sense-"

Punz shrugged "Im not a PVP or Speedrun god like you, or a Redstone genius like Sam, so I just become really good at random stuff like I can make a killer flower crown and Nikki has tried haggling me for my Brownie recipe for months now" he teased as he took a bite

"Also we don't have access to THAT many ingredients so I gotta get creative or else I'll eat the same shit every day-"

Sam chuckled as he began eating as well "Thats Fair-" he swallowed then turned to Dream "Now- Talk… You need to let it out and were listening"

Dream sighed letting out a shaky breath he didnt want to but he knew he needed to tell them,

"I was so focused on defeating the piglins I forgot he was even there… I went to celebrate with him but he was gone- I panicked and I heard him call for me…" he looked down at the soup trying to calm himself down and not become overwhelmed by the memories

"I found him with a sword between his ribs bleeding out against a wall- he thankfully knew better than to pull it out and he managed to kill the piglin but still,

He was mostly trying to calm me down and-"

He started crying softly "Its all my fault- it was just supposed to be a supply run but I had found a Bastion a week or so before and we decided to check it out and- fuck…" he was breathing but it was too fast his hands were shaking and it was like the scene of his brothers life fading away playing over and over every time he so much as blinked

It was too much  
And it was all his fault-

He barely managed to withhold a flinch when Sam put his hand on his shoulder and spoke in a soft tone  
"Hey listen- there was nothing you can do now except be there for him… he was rambling the entire way back about how much fun he had with you"

Punz snickered "And gushing about a baby strider he decided to name 'Martian' or 'Minion' he's undecided"

Dream chuckled slightly though tears still flowing freely he was no longer spiraling- he shook his head remembering Purpled's reaction to the Strider at first "Yeah the strider is downstairs actually- I stress build an entire enclosure for him…"

Sam couldn't help but laugh shaking his head "Of course you did- now finish up your dinner and we're all gonna sleep in the living room tonight to keep an eye on Purpled and you okay"?

Dream looked at them both realizing by their gaze  
This wasn't up for debate-  
He sighed and nodded going back to eating as they talked amongst themselves.

Soon enough everyone finished, got ready for bed, and got themselves set up in the living room.

Dream started up at the ceiling  
Sure this wasn't entirely his fault and he never could have seen this coming  
He should have been more prepared  
This is why he needed control-  
So he could tip the scales of fate in his favor,

He had to keep them safe  
By   
Any  
Means  
Nessicary 

He glanced at the three sleeping figures and let a small smile play on his face 

Even if it meant losing the only people he had left- if they were safe that would be enough….

He let that thought sink in as he slowly drifted off to sleep letting his exhaustion overtake his thoughts.


	19. Author note 2

Will delete this once I post the latest chapter,

BUT sorry of the delay in updates im currently a Highschooler so my schedule got a bit hectic very fast and prevented me from being able to post anything new

HOWEVER a new chapter should come out sometime this weekend as well I have finalized the final arc for the story and it should be coming to its conclusion soon,

Thank you for your patience and I do hope it was worth the wait otherwise have a wonderful weekend!

\- :)


	20. Pancakes and Moral Struggles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Every story needs a Villain,  
> Some villians are outright evil  
> Some have been tested by the times and gave in to what pushed against them  
> Others are simply morally grey and find that sometimes it's easier to be the Villian in order to protect those dearest to you
> 
> What even makes someone a villain in the first place?  
> They say that the winners of the war have their stories shared  
> Doesn't mean the winners we're the good guys, it's just the story from their perspective 
> 
> How do you think the story would change if in another perspective?  
> Who would be the villain then?  
> Can we even be sure there was a villain in the first place?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the HUGE delay in chapter publishing, I had a bit of writers block since the next big arc is coming up but I wanted a more Calm chapter in between and that lead to SEVERAL drafts before finally doing this one 
> 
> But hopefully with this chapter out I'll be able to push through the next arc which is one of last major plot point I have planned out before the finale,
> 
> I hope you enjoy and im so glad to have been able to have people who enjoy reading what I love writing and sticking with even when I vanish for over a month.
> 
> Thank you again and enjoy the well needed fluff chapter :)
> 
> -yellow_sprouts

When Purpled finally woke up everything felt sore and he reached to touch his side still feeling a small twinge of Phantom pain,

in his half aware state he was honestly surprised he still didn't have a sword in his side.

He let out a soft whine and slowly sat up but paused when he realized he couldn't move most of his body he started to panic before he opened his eyes and saw the reason behind his immobility.

Sam, Punz, and Dream,

All three of them were curled up against the boy Dream practically having him trapped in a bear hug though all three held onto some part of him as if he would vanish if they let go

But as much as he'd love to stay there forever he honestly felt like they were crushing him, So began his feeble attempt at wiggling himself out of the pile of body parts but with no luck. 

Just when he was about to give up he felt Sams arms give slightly and the older man sat up and offered a warm smile reaching down and ruffling his hair "Morning Purp how are you feeling"?

Purpled looked up at him and gave a weak shrug still a bit dazed and being crushed by too others he still couldn't move much  
"Everything's sore and I half expected a sword in my side though I cant breath at the moment"

"But That part isn't the fault of dying"he said gesturing to Dream and Punz earning a chuckle from Sam,

Sam snickered glancing down at the other two boys and gently nudging them gently "C'mon you two you're crushing the poor lad"

This earned a groan from Punz who lifted himself up, eyes half lidded and looked completely out of it, his hair all over the place looking as if he would pass out again any second.

Purpled barely managed to hold back a snort at seeing how he looked, Punz was never a morning person anyway. 

Punz yawned moving away from Purpled and leaning back on the couch rubbing his eyes and stretching a bit speaking just above a whisper  
"Fucking hell- wha time 's it…"

Sam glanced across the room at the large Alien analog clock on his bedside,  
Purpled had gotten it as a gag gift though quickly grew to love the little figure,  
"Its around 7:37 am though its a bit fuzzy from here so I could be wrong"

Punz let out a long annoyed groan burying his face into a pillow  
"Its too fucking early- I don't understand how you two can be so awake so early its unnatural"

Sam simply chuckled and stood up ruffling Punz hair lovingly and at the same time helped tame it down a bit.  
"Want me to put on a pot of coffee for you-"?

Punz looked up making puppy dog eyes at Sam "Yes please-" he said as the tall man walked into the kitchen and began getting out whatever he needed for coffee.

Purpled never really drank it but always had it around in case Dream needed a calm down if his ADHD was acting up,  
or if Punz needed a-pick-me-up if he was forced to wake up before 11.

But his attention was grabbed when he heard Punz voice now sounding somewhat more awake as he spoke to Purpled  
"So how you feeling-"?

Purpled looked over and nodded slightly "Better that I'm not crushed by three grown men now it's just one giant manchild" he said gesturing to a passed out Dream

Punz smiled glancing down at Dream  
"Let him sleep- he was a wreck over ya, but you know that not my point I mean you have any questions or anything like that"

Purpled paused "Don't you have three lives? If anything I shouldn't ask you of all people"

"On THIS server yes, but I've lost a several lives before on old ones I just always left before I could lose a final life never saw the point in sticking around and risk perma death" he explained not elaborating further,

Purpled took a moment to process what he said and sat up carefully shifting himself up as not to wake Dream  
"Yeah I um- It was odd…" 

He paused for a minute trying to figure out how to explain what he felt before deciding he should probably give them a bigger picture to fully explain,  
" I sometimes have intrusive thoughts but I'm always able to brush them off easily,"

"I already talked to Eret about them and he insisted that its normal but to tell someone if it gets out of hand" he added quickly not wanting them to get hung up on the lesser details 

Punz nodded as Sam returned with Coffee, he made grabby hands as Sam passed over the cup and Punz said a small thank you as he drank a small amount, both of them now listening while Punz looked a bit more awake.

"But when I was in the void it was all I could think about, usually there just whispers in the back of my head but its like I was screaming," he said laughing a bit though it was bitter 

"Heck for a bit I was honestly considering STAYING there it was honestly scary how close I was to ignoring his help and just accepting disappearing it scared me how ready I was to just give up all over some stupid thoughts-" he said pulling his knees into his chest

Sam put a hand on his shoulder making him look up and he spoke reassuringly  
"The void is an… interesting place- to be frank it's an anomaly most people avoid all together

We know Enderman and Ender hybrids use voiding to teleport and that when you use a pearl you pass through the void to get from one place to another"

Sam pulled back slightly now making vague gestures to try and get his point across  
"We know its an odd limbo between all three major dimensions and connects all the servers both private and public though it's almost impossible to navigate,

Time, memories, reality everything is distorted"

Sam reached out and held Purpleds head "You did so well- your here with us and you're safe you did great, and were never going to let you just disappear okay"?

Purpled gave a soft nod unable to hold back tears streaming down his face he let out soft hiccups zoning out until he felt a hand wipe away some of his tears.

"I slept a few hours and woke up and you guys already made him cry-" Purpled opened his eyes, Green meeting violet.

Purpled sniffled then smiled wrapping his arms around Dream "Happy tears…. Thank you for being there for me-"

Dream was frozen for a moment before smiling and pulling Purpled closer into a hug "Anytime- now than you probably need something to eat you don't realize it yet but your gonna feel like shit for a day or so and best you can do is relax and let your big brothers take care of you"

Purpled nodded Still holding onto him while Punz had a shit eating grin "Aww does that mean I can bully Drista without you going big brother mode on me"

Both boys turned to glare at him and he chuckled "Kidding kidding… kind of- she burned my bed and kept killing me before I could reach my house from spawn"!

Purpled shrugged now just wanting to tease him  
"You antagonized her, that or you were an easy target which is even more shameful to be bested by a 15 year old" (unsure her actual age)

Punz sat up defensivly "I didn't even do shit"!

Purpled paused"You probably reminded her of Sapnap so she decided to make your life more difficult"

Dream let out a wheeze laugh while Sam simply chuckled into his cup taking a long sip listening to Punz gripe over the duos younger sister. 

He looked up at them "How is Drista anyway"?

Purpled smiled lighting up at the mention of his younger sister "Oh I visited her like last week, she's still server hopping BUT she did find a cool medical style world and became a queen for a bit before giving some random girl she befriended the throne and moving on- 

Speaking of old servers I should visit Hypixel again soon, have to keep my bedwars skills sharp" he said with a grin

Punz stood up stretching slightly and leaned back a series of pops echoing into the room causing Sam to shutter, hating the sound.

Punz smiled letting out a yawn looking far more awake than before he downed a cup of coffee "WELL- do you want Pancakes or far superior muscle pancakes"

Purpled paused then grinned tapping his hands on his legs happily "Muscle Pancakes with Strawberries please- ooh and chocolate syrup"

Sam looked at him frowning slightly giving a bit of a 'parental disapproval' look before he spoke "You think that's a bit too much sugar this early in the morning"?

Purpled shook his head "N O P E- I just died so I request a heart attack on a plate, ooh add on whip cream" 

Punz glanced at Sam knowing he had the final say since he was basically like a gardien figure to the trio.

"You better give in now or else he's gonna remember more stuff to add on to the point he's gonna make himself sick" Dream added in,

Sam gave a long sigh before nodding at Punz "I'll take pancakes with syrup"  
Dream lit up "Ooh if we're making requests I desire Blueberry pancakes-"

Punz gave a thumbs up before heading into the kitchen and began preparing the meal for the group 

Sam smiled before turning back to the duo "Now then- after breakfast we need to have a conversation over what happened"

Purpleds earlier excitement faded slightly "What why"? He said in a whiny tone

Sam sighed "You both went through something VERY traumatic from what little has been explained to me and we need to discuss it to prevent emotions from spiraling since I know both of you are stubborn shits who bottle up everything-" he said raising his hands and thumping both of their foreheads

Both boys let out a whine rubbing their foreheads  
"Ow what the fuck Sam-" they said in almost complete unison earning a cackle laugh from Punz as he tried to focus on making Breakfast for the trio,

Sam sighed and leaned forward slightly looking at them with a concerned and tired expression  
"Look I just… I worry about you both okay? I've seen people, close friends, die from the inside out because they were too stubborn to simply talk stuff out and I don't want to be on the other side of a fight of either of you"

Dream frown deepened slightly at the idea of Sam admitting that he had a possibility of going against them  
"But you wouldn't betray us… right"?

Sam looked at them and shook his head quickly holding his hand up as he spoke "God no- if anything I'm gonna knock some sense into you and ground you for far too long but no matter what you'll always be my family"

Dream wanted to press further but was interrupted when Punz came over carrying several plates of food  
"Breakfast is served-" he said in a fake Posh accent 

Sam held his hand up waving him off quickly "Nope syrup and the couch don't mix"

Punz didn't miss a beat spinning on his heel to move in the direction of the table "Breakfast is served as soon as you all get up off your asses and come eat"! He said as he somehow maintained the accent even while cursing.

Purpled laughed hopping up off the couch though his excited expression slipped to fear as his knees buckled under him though he let out a relieved sigh when Dream's arms wrapped around him. 

Dream shook his head slightly as he put his other Arm under his brothers knees hoisting him up "Y E A H let's not try that again now come on cold pancakes are good but not as good as warm"

Purpled adjusted himself a bit before letting Dream carry him "Nah you got Pancakes like a loser, I got the FAR superior Muscle Pancakes"

Sam sat down at the table as Punz laid out everyone's plates "PLEASE just say Waffles it's not that hard Purp" 

They smiled as Dream sat Purpled down and pulled out his own chair, the younger boy already cutting up his waffles and taking far too big of a mouthful seeming to melt at the taste.

Dream doing much of the same "I've said it once and I'll say it again, Punz how the fuck are you SO good at cooking Jesus fuck-"

Punz simply laughed as he say down and began cutting up his own waffles "Its called I live with a bunch of grown men and a child none of which have more than basic cooking skills"

He took a bite then continued "And I noticed Bad was starting to get overwhelmed being the mom friend AND having to cook every single meal so I learned so I could help out"

"Why didn't skeppy just help out"? Purpled asked between bites earning a small Glare from Sam

"Don't talk with your mouth full Purp-" he muttered a quick apology before turning back to Punz

Punz chuckled "Yeah Him along with Dream are banned from helping in the kitchen, Sapnap is actually a decent cook but he usually only likes fire cooking or else he gets bored and distracted easily"

Purpled snickered and Turned to Dream "How the hell did you manage that- I mean Bad is one of the most tolerable and patient people I know"

Dream sighed "Skeppy exploded an oven and I managed to set pasta on fire, got distracted, and activated all of the fire alarms-"

"While Ant and Velvet were visiting~" Punz added in

Dream shrunk in his seat slightly stabbing a bit of his pancakes "And Ant of course flipped out and I spent the entire afternoon having to get water out of stuff and apologize to Ant"

Sam snickered "oh poor ant-"  
Dream glared at him before looking smug "Oh Purpled do you know the story of what happened when Sam first met Ant~"

Purpled lit up and shook his head "No tell me,"

Sam's smile fell and he shook his head "Boys no-"

Punz smirked twirling his fork between his fingers "Boys yes~"

He set his fork down and turned to Purpled "You've met Ant right, he's almost a whole two feet smaller than Sam so Imagine we're all hanging out sitting around and Bad goes to introduce Sam and Ant only to have Sam let out a SCREAM and sprint the opposite way and try hiding behind Sapnap "

Purpled looked at Sam seemingly trying to confirm this story and watched the creeper hybrid sink in on himself looking embarrassed at the story  
"Shut up and eat your breakfast"

Punz smiled leaning against his shoulder "You love us~" he said in a sing song voice 

Sam gave him a warm smile and pat the top of his head "Yes yes I do and you all mean the world to me"

Punz smile fell slightly and he pulled back "Dammit you're gonna make me emotional-"

Sam laughed and began trying to pull Punz into a hug "Aww Punzy it's okay let me love you"

This only earned more protests from Punz and laughter from Purpled while Dream simply watched them all bickering with a small smile on his face,

Though he was snapped out of the moment by a small buzz from his pocket, he reached down and pulled out his communicator keeping it under the table as he read the message

[Tubbo: All set up you sure you wanna do this?]

Dream paused glancing up at the trio he didn't WANT to leave them but remembering back to seeing Purpled hurt,

He'd put his own wants aside if it meant keeping his family safe he gave them a soft smile before replying to Tubbo 

[Dream: Yes I'll talk ahain soon, remember to bring extra med supplies its a long journey]

[Tubbo: Aye aye, talk to you later] 

With that reply Dream shut off his communicator and pocketed it turning his attention back to the group and his half eaten breakfast.

He could be selfish for today  
And enjoy their company for the time being  
But he began to wonder if he was making the right choice

He knew that if he didn't play this out right  
Purpled would hate him  
Punz would disown him  
And Sam would be the one fighting to shut him down 

He'd be all alone for real  
But before he could think much further he felt a hand on his shoulder and looked up to see Purpled beaming up at him  
"Lets see what Dream thinks, who's right me or Punz"

Sam paused looking at him "I think he zoned out a bit, do you need us to repeat the question"?

Dream hesitated before giving a short nod "Yeah yeah sorry just Tubbo messaging me, also I don't need it repeated Purpled is always right if it's Him vs Punz"

Punz let out an offended sound while Purpled only laughed looking smug as they continued to argue,

Sam looked over at Dream giving him a worried look "You sure you're okay"?

Dream looked up at Sam, God he was wearing that concerned parental look it was almost enough to make Dream Crack and fall into his arms and spill absolutely everything longing to loosen the burdening weight off his shoulders and receive the comfort he so desperately desired,

Almost…

"Of course, now we should probably intervene before they try sparring each other while Purpleds still supposed to be on bedrest"

That caught Sam's attention as he turned to the duo quickly going into a small rant about how Purpled needs to take it easy the next few days and Punz can't antagonize him,

Dream smiled at the group taking another bite of his waffles though he recoiled slightly when the bitter taste hit his tongue

Must be a bad berry-

He moved his plate away having lost his appetite and looked at the trio,

He hoped he was making the right decision here  
But he won't know until he's already made it, for now all he can do is simply enjoy the time he has,  
Who knows how many more moments like this he has left, and focus on trying to ease their pains in any way he can.

He doesn't have a choice here  
He never did  
Every story needs a villain  
And if he needs to become the villain so he can control who is or isn't hurt then that's just what he will have to do 

But for now he can just be Dream the big brother, the son, the best friend,  
The carefree person receiving the affection he always craved so much from those he loved.

He already felt bone tired and it was barely 9 am….  
Then again he should be used to it by now 

Always tired  
Always upset  
Afraid  
Alone

The true price for playing the villain in the story where not even the hero truly wins,


	21. Late Night Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People are complicated,  
> Movies are idealized versions of life in diffrent genres but they all have one thing in common, a happy ending is practically garenteed for most modern media.
> 
> One of my guilty pleasures is cringy Hallmark Romcoms purely for the fact your gatenteed a happy ending with minimul doom and gloom and sometimes that's nessicary.
> 
> Romcoms about past relations, funny banter, and small miscommunication  
> Movie mistakes seem so painfully easy to solve  
> Why is that?
> 
> But real life is much more complicated and a Happy ending isn't garenteed and it certainly isn't a garentee for everyone  
> But if you could make sure everyone else lived happily ever after at the expense of your own happiness  
> Would you sacrifice that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delays in update, I live in Texas and as most of you probably know it has been a living hell for the past week,
> 
> I finished most of the Chapter Friday and I planned on finishing up and publishing Saturday, BUT my dumbass chose to instead watch all TWELVE hours of the Ranboo sub-a-thon, safe to say I was too exhuated to finish Sunday 
> 
> So I hope you enjoy yet ANOTHER dynamic bonding chapter before the storyline continues.

Something was wrong-  
It just felt off,he couldn't begin to process it before he felt himself come to, looking around at fuzzy images none of which seemed to make sense.

Dream blinked once and he was sitting, he looked around trying to get his bearings when he noticed he was sitting on a cliff of sorts overlooking the ocean 

"Well… fancy seeing you here-" Dream turned to see an all too familiar figure

"Ghostbur"? He asked confused before the figure looked over sitting next to him but he noticed the all usually familiar ghost adored a large tattered draping coat with a popped collar ,black fingerless wool gloves, and that same damned black beanie.

His usual large friendly smile gone into an amused smirk  
"Nope- now then how are you gonna dig yourself out of this one huh"?

Dream blinked confused as he starred at Wilbur? This all didn't make any sense "Where are we"?

Wilbur gave a soft hum as he took a small rock from the ground next to him and carefully tossed it over the edge,  
Dream watched as the rock fell a bit before seeming to freeze mid air and vanish 

"Not sure exactly- but If it helps ease your mind you're not awake and you're completely sober as far as I can tell" he turned to face Dream and smiled

"S o let's talk- Seems like you need a reality check from someone who was in your position yeah"?

Dream paused looking down at the ocean avoiding glancing at Wilbur "What are you talking about-"

Wilbur gave a cynical look seeming to be trying to gauge whether Dream was being serious or not,  
"Your joking right"? He asked but didn't seem to wait for a response 

"You and I are one in the same ya know… the only difference, is I'm dead and your not…. Yet at least"

Dream sat up slightly looking over at him "Yeah no- we couldn't be more different your just pissed that you failed"

Wilbur paused before he threw his head back cackling loudly "Oh my gosh- you're being serious"! He continued laughing before turning to look at Dream 

"The whole reason I'm dead is because I wouldn't just let. things. be." He said poking the side of Dreams head to emphasis each word

Dream scoffed and hit his hand away while Wilbur continued "Look- I COULD and SHOULD have just let Tubbo be president, leave it alone, maybe even prevent Techno from his whole Theseus thing since we both know that fucked up Tommy a good bit"

Dream tensed slightly at the young blonde being mentioned, he sometimes forgot that Tommy was even younger than his little brother.

"But to be fair I had gone kind of insane and big daddy Phil came to play the hero a day or so too late, so what's your excuse"?

Dream turned away "I don't have to talk to you- like you said I'm sleeping I can just wait you out"

Wilbur rolled his eyes shaking his head "OH being difficult are we? Well I suppose you could but you truly do need some advice… you're going down a path you don't want the ending too there doesn't HAVE to be a villain you know"?

"Yeah? You think so huh"? He replied sarcastically before standing up and turning to face Wilbur "Tell me when Is the ONE time everyone on the server came together huh? When they had a common enemy…. Schlatt, every other time they let their own personal conflict cloud their judgment and let pride get in the way of just EXISTING with one another"

Wilbur paused seeming to process what he was saying, he stood up putting his hands on his hips and smiling at him"Maybe you're right" he said with a shrug 

Wilbur walked forward and poked Dreams chest smiling almost unnaturally wide  
"But are you really willing to give up everything you have in order for them to be united? And how long did that last anyway like a week?"

Dream shoved his hand away and took a step back "It will last as long as I can make it- i'll bring down all the factions, force them to become allies against a common enemy and if that enemy has to be me so be it"

"Ah there it is… remember what I said before about the whole hero complex hmm?"

Wilbur walked forward closing the distance between them and looking down at Dream and laughing in a sly tone"Your a walking contradiction Dream, you and I know full well if you TRULY wanted to be the villain you would have done SO much worse, you didn't realize how far gone I was until it was too late"

Dream shook his head turning away and taking a few steps further from him  
"Your projecting Wilbur-"

Wilbur paused moving forward, tilting his head in fake confusions and grabbing Dreams shoulder spinning him so he was forced to face him  
"Am I? or are you too much of a coward to own up to the idea that 'being the common enemy' isn't going to solve shit"

Dream tried to take a step back as he spoke"shut up-"

Wilbur continued to advance on him throwing his arms out as if inviting Dream to retort against him  
"You have to make problems in order for people to see you as a problem, otherwise your still friends to some and at worse your a thorn in their side"

Dream held his hands up defensively as he spoke his tone becoming harsher  
"Shut up Wilbur-"

" Exactly it wouldn't work, but I watched you try and make problems and regret every. Single. One. Of them, you hated causing chaos I know you did,

I know it was fun but once you saw how you were hurting others you wanted to stop you wanted to stop so badly," Wilbur said with an even brighter smile grabbing Dream by his shoulders 

"But you convinced yourself you couldn't because otherwise your poor excuse for a plan wouldn't work, you had to hurt the people you love in order to be control your a control freak Dream," he said the end anger seeping into his voice a bit as he pointed at him accusingly 

"You couldn't handle the idea of someone else causing issues that you couldn't maneuver to make sure as few people suffered as possible and you were too goddam weak to even play the role you forced upon yourself"!

Dream finally snapped shoving Wilbur off of him and shoving him onto the ground  
"I SAID SHUT UP"!

Wilbur stayed on the ground stunned and Dream took a step back running his hand through his hair and sighing,

He muttered a soft apology and took his seat back on the ledge sitting in silence next to Wilbur 

Wilbur slowly stood up and took his original seat next to Dream, his mocking smile now gone and he had a more content expression  
" I can see what Ghostbur sees, did you know that? I still exist with him I'm just dormant so no one can really see me though I occasionally peak though when he's acting less like a ditz than normal" he said in a joking tone before his tone became much softer and more serious,

"I saw how hard you cried when you saw I was killed, it's not your fault you know you didn't realize how bad I was mentally"

" But I should have…" Dream said guilt seeping through his voice "For you and for Schlatt, I should have been there and put a stop before it got to far"

"You may be in control of a lot of things but you couldn't have controlled the fact I went fucking crazy- and Schlatt was a pissed off drunk that was fucked up in more ways that you couldn't have predicted when the tide of the election turned on its head"

Dream stayed silent seeming to not accept that he was helpless to see how bad things would get and still forcing the blame upon himself, it was easier than accepting he had no control over what happened after a certain tipping point. 

"But you can control your choices now"Wilbur said nudging his shoulder softly to make Dream look up at him once more,

"So don't fuck it up… History has its eyes on you and so far your on the wrong side, so make the right choice before it's too late" he said making a pointing gesture at Dream before everything seemed to fade to black and he awoke,

Dream shot up breathing heavily glancing around to see where he was, it was one of the guest rooms in Purpleds house…  
He sighed and let his back hit the mattress again as he glanced over at the clock

[3:26AM]

He mentally cursed his luck knowing he wasn't likely to be able to fall asleep again, instead he slowly stood up throwing on his hoodie before walking out to the main part of the ship,

He looked around before finding the ladder, he walked over and popped open the shuttle hatch and climbed up and situated himself on top of the UFO looking out at the starlit sky.

He took a few slow controlled breaths watching the faded fog come out due to how cold it was, but he wasn't bothered by the temperate as much as he probably should have been.

Dream sighed pulling his knees into his chest and resting his head on his knees glancing to find his gaze locked onto the Community house off in the distance,

Fuck he missed them didn't he?  
Wilbur was right  
He was too weak to play this part  
It was taking every bit of his self control not to run back into their arms and LET himself be loved, and let them love him.

He wanted so badly to go back to before the wars, before the factions, when they were just one giant family, that's all he wanted.

But before he could think much more he froze up when he felt something touch him, he whipped around ready to attack only to pause when he saw Sam looming over him carefully draping a blanket over his shoulders before sitting next to him.

They sat in silence for a good 10 minutes before Sam spoke "It's chilly out… Fuzzy Pj pants and a hoodie aren't exactly the best things to be wearing outside this early"

"What are you doing up"?

"Call it… a parental instinct- it's a hybrid thingy, Creepers entire purpose is to die protecting other mobs since if the player is dead they can't hurt anyone else" Dream paused blinking slightly and Sam chuckled

"Yeah Creepers aren't just mindlessly blowing up stuff at random, anyway that's why you usually see them around other mobs their protectors"

"And said protectors have sort of a sixth sense for when someone is in danger or COULD be in danger" he paused looking at Dream "SO when I woke up with that instinct and saw the hatch a jar I was fully expecting to drag a sleepwalking Punz back down 

Or talk Purpled out of one of his Isolation episodes- but here you are freezing your ass off and staring at the sky line like we're in some cringe rom com"

"I love you but if you make me watch on the sidelines while you pine after someone for 5 seasons I will kill you myself" he said in a more joking yet serious tone

That earned a wheeze laugh from Dream who took a few minutes to calm down before shaking his head "Trust me a complicated Romcom would be so much easier than this"

Sam paused seeming to be thinking something over before he spoke "Do you know why RomComs, their problems seem so easy to solve"?

Dream looked over tilting his head slightly confused before Sam continued "Because we're seeing the story from an outside perspective, we don't have set ideas of what is or isn't expected of them- were able to take a step back and figure out a much more straightforward answer"

He shrugged smiling from under his mask "Sure they usually solve the problem themselves but not without some rough patches that could have been easily avoided" 

Dream sat up straighter staring straight ahead "So this is some kind of lecture huh? Im fine Sam if anything you should be talking to Purpled"

"I plan on that as well but he's coping just fine so far" Sam sighed "On the other hand,, Someone who sneaks out at 3am and sit on a metal roof in this type of weather is not fine- but no i'm not trying to lecture you"

He reached out and nudged Dream so he would look over before continuing "All I'm saying is I know something is up and I feel like its bigger than what happened in the nether"

"But I can't help until you fill me in, and I'd rather you rant to me and let me be the annoyed best friend trying to help you pick which dress to wear to crash the wedding than you make a huge mistake and wear Salmon or some shit, the fuck kind of color is S A L M O N"

Dream laughed and nodded seeming to have cheered up a bit

Sam took a somewhat more serious tone when he grabbed Dream's shoulders and made him look at his concern clearly shown in his expression "Promise me you'll talk, if not to me to someone else, the MOMENT you think it's too much okay"?

Dream paused hesitating slightly before nodding "Alright alright I promise", he had always hated lying to Sam.

Sam smiled and ruffled his hair standing up "Now it's freezing out here and I don't want Punz freaking out and Dragging Purpled out of bed trying to find us "

He held out his hand to help Dream up but instead Dream popped up on his own handing the blanket off and wrapping it around Sam "You're more sensitive to cold than me- I'll be inside in a minute okay"?

Sam nodded not wanting to push him more "You have 5 minutes before I drag you down that ladder myself" he said in a parental tone before disappearing back into the ship hatch below.

Dream watched the hatch close glancing back up at the horizon to see the sun beginning to peak out, breaking up the seemingly endless starry sky as it did.

Dream stood up and glanced over to where Lmanberg stood knowing a certain brunette president was probably still passed out asleep, he should probably head inside then.

Last thing he wants is to catch a cold before the Journey…..

Wilbur was right, he may be on the wrong side of history but this wasn't as simple as a Romcom story,

Not everyone could get a happy ending  
Someone had to be screwed over in order for everyone else to be happy 

And he'd rather it be him than someone else he cared about left in the dust.

But he felt exhausted and cold so he tore his gaze away from the sunrise and re opened the hatch, climbing back inside of the ufo.

He glanced over to see Purpled Cocooned inside of a bundle of covers while Punz was sprawled in a way Dream didn't know how he didn't dislocated something every night or maybe he did and that's why he's so good at resetting limbs, he'd have to ask him another time.

And Sam was seated on the rocking chair slumped back and seeming to have fallen back asleep,

Dream grabbed some of the blankets Punz had knocked to the floor and laid them over top the Creeper hybrid before heading back into the guest bedroom.

He glanced at the clock and saw the new time  
[4:47AM]

He pulled back the covers and collapsed onto the mattress curling Into himself and letting exhaustion take over him.

He still had a bit longer before someone would burst in demanding attention, help, or something, so for now he'd enjoy the quiet  
He missed the quiet  
He was tired of the noise  
Tired of the wars  
The fighting  
The conflict,  
He was so tired-

(Word count: 2,761)


End file.
